An Englishman Abroad
by paratti
Summary: Spike's trip to Africa leads to changes, revelations, and throws him into fighting against a plot to destroy all the demons. To do this he has to join up with old and new friends and save the love of his unlife.Travelfic.S/B, G/Anya.Spoilers to end of S6.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: Not mine all belongs to Joss Pairings: Spike/Buffy, Spike/Giles friendship, Giles/Anya. Written from Spike's point of view. Travelfic, action/adventure with angst and humour based on spoilers to the end of S6, but with differences. English spelling. Feedback gratefully received at slayerdudette@lineone.net  
  
  
  
Knew I'd forgotten something. They call me a bloodsucker. I have, at my best, nothing on these little demons. Even being vamped hasn't stopped the little sods from dining on that perennial favourite, "Englishman abroad". But it's rather difficult to pack Jungle Formula in a coffin. Bad enough to have to use nicotine patches, but security, even on air shipping the dead, is tighter these days.  
  
And I have to take more care than most of my fellow countrymen about the whole sunburn issue too. The ultimate sunblock given to that pillock and destroyed. I could have done with it getting out of the cargo area. But, hey, with a few bucks it wasn't hard to get to the international banks. I got enough cash to hire a Landrover in Nairobi. Drove down to the border by night, and across the border away from the crossing. A vampire doesn't need to worry 'bout lions and leopards, us predators have to stick together.  
  
Shame can't take any pics though for the Niblet, she'd love it. Huge expanses of plains, enough wildebeest getting eaten to keep the BBC wildlife documentary export industry going for decades, and the great bulk of Kilimanjaro in the background. Love to climb it - but no way to keep out the sun on foot. Can't have everything. Course, right at the moment, it feels like I can't have anything.  
  
But no broodage, that way lies hair that grows straight up and not this vamp! Gotta look at the positive. Lots of fresh blood on the hoof, somewhere I've never been before - which is always good. Gotta keep things fresh. Music full of great drumbeats - must send some tapes home and introduce the Niblet to World Music.  
  
The beer - a great legacy of the British and German influence here, and a few bottles in the cooler makes a great sundowner. Could have done without digging out the landrover last night though. Clay's a bitch, even with vamp strength, and I could have well done without having to chip 4 inches of the stuff off the Docs, before I could drive again. I mean I wouldn't mind being taller - but not that way - prefer punk to glam rock.  
  
But here it is - the village home of the last best hope of de-chipping (knew we shouldn't have watched the whelp's Babylon 5 collection last summer), without owing psychotic nerds, lawyers trying to organise the apocalypse, or dishonest surgeons.  
  
Just a few miles from Olduvai Gorge - home of some of the oldest human ancestors they say on the telly. Must be the home of the oldest vamps too. Feels like it. All of me feels at home here. Makes me feel young actually, which is nice change.  
  
The slayer must have arisen here too. Appropriate, since that's why I'm here. Wonder if the shaman is one of the descendants of one of those who, the ancient legends of the Order of Aurelius say, created the slayer to hunt us down?  
  
Maybe, just hope he can do it. Need to be me - all of me. Need to be free. Need to help. Can't do that with some stupid bit of silicon in my head. So mozzie bites, clay encrusted boots, whatever tests I gotta go through here I am - bring it on!  
  
  
  
The village was at the edge of one of the biggest volcanic craters I've ever seen. Pretty glad it must be extinct. The stars were so bright though. I've missed that in smogy, city lighted California. Dru would love 'em. Ngorongoro Crater- try saying that a few times after a few beers. Passed elephants, loads more bloody wildebeest, enough zebras to supply pedestrian crossings for half the UK, and even rhinos on the way there.  
  
There was a bar with some great music coming out, and a beer and a chat about the football would be soo welcome right now. It's great! Man. U. has so many fans out here. Great to have a conversation about Becks and the lads prospects for the Champions League. Even better than the watcher, I mean Chelsea - come on! Can't talk about the footy with the whelp, he thinks rugby with padding that stops all the time is interesting - heathen. But gotta get this done, no sidetracks, however appealing. Last hut on the dirt track, directly by the walls of the crater, according to the directions.  
  
The shaman, younger than I would have thought, but the eyes they were old, looked straight at me. You get used to that you know, mixing with other vampires - missed it.  
  
"You think you know. What's to come, what you are.You haven't even begun".  
  
Now that sounds familiar, think Red told me something with that in during the summer. Wish I could remember, maybe after some kip. "You speak English?"  
  
"Of course, it helped a lot when I was studying in London. Of course I don't need to know your language to talk to you, not when I can touch your mind if I want to."  
  
"Don't ! It's weird enough when Red does it, don't want too many people in here. Too much up there as it is."  
  
"It's why you are here, you think. To free your mind and body from a bit of plastic."  
  
"Hey, top of the range silicon here mate, but freedom, yeah."  
  
"What would you do for that"  
  
"What you want?"  
  
"A promise to listen to a friend of mine if you pass the tests, oh and not to eat my friends and neighbours, even if you don't agree to his proposition. I know you are a gentleman of his word."  
  
"Seems fair, done."  
  
"Come, sit and we will begin. Hold her."  
  
He passed me a skull. Seen plenty of those in my time. This one looked different though. Like those in the natural history documentaries on evolution. Brow ridges were heavier - though again, I tend to feel heavy brows on a regular basis. Felt powerful too.  
  
"You feel her? Sineya, mother of all of us. For you and the woman you love twice over. The scientists of the west have found her, mitochondrial Eve, but we know her name. Mother of the children of the world. Mother of the First Slayer, Mother of the First Vampire. You will listen to her."  
  
With that he put some herbs onto the fire. Here we go again. I mean I did Woodstock on acid blood, peyote down Mexico way, absinthe in Montmartre, and I'm from an era when the Queen was on Class A drugs. All lots of great anecdotes I am not supposed to tell the Nibblet, coz drugs are bad, just say no.  
  
I stared at the fossil skull. The smoke and fumes blended to form deep brown eyes that seemed to lock me in place. The view shifted from a dark, smoky hut to open plains, beside a shallow lake, under a harsh sun. Nice to see the sun in a non-combusting sort of way, haven't felt it since the whole Gem of Amara debacle. But I couldn't just see I knew, bone deep, what I was seeing, and what the woman whose eyes I was seeing through felt.  
  
Three girls: Oldest daughter playing with a sharpened wooden spear, running around, looking around; Middle daughter, responsible, holding a skin, gathering plants like Mother; Baby, in Mother's arms, thumb in mouth.  
  
Seasons shift. Oldest daughter becomes a woman, gets a name - Lilit - still out to hunt, to see what was over the next hill, not interested in settling down with the men who would mate with her, wanting no constraint. Middle daughter, looking after Baby, wanting to love and take care of her. Baby still a child, loving Mother and her sisters. Mother sad for the lost sons but happy with her three girls. Happy that the monsters, the ancients stories told of, were no longer around hunting them. Animals they could cope with, the monsters no. But the monsters had mostly gone by themselves.  
  
Then the coming of the last monster, green bone plates round its face, red eyes, mindless savagery. Lilit tries to fight it, It savages her, but she wounds it. Too late, its blood trickles into her open wounds. The tribe destroys the monster, and gathers around its lost daughter.  
  
She rises, changed. Fangs, yellow eyes, strange brow, and thirst for blood, blended with the monster. The tribe knows not what to do. They lose their own people, lose people from other tribes. Some changed, some consumed.  
  
Powerful ones of the tribes gather. Bring their magic together. Pull out some of the spirit animating Lilit. Put it into a warrior.  
  
Middle daughter becomes a woman during the days long rituals. She becomes the warrior. Her name now only her function - Slayer. Only existing in hunting those changed by her sister, in the blood-cry. Only the need to protect remaining from Middle daughter.  
  
Mother weeps, Baby kisses Slayers wounds better but is rebuffed.  
  
Baby gets older. Slayer keeps down the children of Lilit, but can never wipe them out, always hunting, losing who she was. Only the hunt, always alone, always missing something.  
  
Baby becomes a woman, mates, and has children of her own. The Children of Lilit consume others, so many other humans. Only Slayers tribe thrives. Slayer is killed by Lilit. Her own Baby becomes Slayer.  
  
Over the generations Slayers appear only among her line. As Slayers keep the people alive her children are sought out as mates, and spread. Others are consumed, until only Mother's children survive.  
  
Mother weeps for all her children.  
  
I get thrust out, back to myself. I look at the skull. Below the empty eye sockets there is a crystalline tear. "Bloody Hell! Intense. So what now" I ask the Shaman.  
  
"Swallow the tear. That is the first step. You have been shown the past, who we are."  
  
"I do. It burns, it cleanses."  
  
"Drink this, it's cows blood, I think you need it. It's what we drink with milk, but I expect you wouldn't want a shake. Then I think you need a break, go along to the bar and I will call you."  
  
Not sure how long I was out but the blood was most definitely welcome. Still felt a bit spacey so I walked rather than drove back to the bar. Getting some air cleared my head a bit. Got to the wooden building, with the music blaring, and the wonderful scent of beer. I pushed the door open, and now I know I'm stoned. "Giles?????"  
  
"Quite! Does really require something of a Grateful Dead meets Led Zeppelin soundtrack I think."  
  
Looks like Giles, seen the record collection, so sounds like Giles. That Planet Gong record confirms he must have done a lot of the good stuff in the pre-Tweed era. Haven't seen the Watcher Safari Collection before, but this does appear to be Giles. "What the bloody hell are you doing here! Thought you were back home, hiding under a very large rock from all we've heard from you recently. And by the way, still haven't forgiven you from walking away from the Slayer when she really needed you. Might have been able to talk some sense into her, Red, and the Whelp. Nobody else seems to be able to."  
  
"Good to see you too Spike."  
  
"You aren't going to start cleaning your glasses anytime soon are you? Only can somebody get me a beer first? I'm stinking of funky herbs, I'm covered in mozzie bites, I just had a trip to the beginning of human time and evolution, swallowed something new even for me, and am still not sure what its done to me. All that and here's someone I thought was back home, reading the Sun, getting a decent full English breakfast, and poncing about with the Council of Wankers. I'm hot, tired, confused and in need of somebody telling me what's going on. Sounds like the story of my life recently, come to think about it."  
  
" Stay here." At which Giles headed off to the bar, chatting with the locals in Swahili on the way there and back. Seems to have been here a while. They all seemed to know him, and handed him two beers from the cold part of the fridge.  
  
" Let's go outside and have a proper talk. It'll take a while and the music could prove distracting. There is a great view of the animals from by the water hole a few miles away. We'll take my landrover, as there is no way on earth I'm driving with you. Things haven't changed that much."  
  
"Hey I wasn't the one that crashed the winnebago! Sorry - all right! Anyway sun'll be up soon, and, Hello Vampire!"  
  
"Come on. Samuel wouldn't let me do anything to hurt you, even if I did want to. And after all "Band of Buggered" and all that."  
  
"Thought you'd forgot that, all that never wanting my opinion and so on. Nope, who wants to listen to the evil bloodsucking thing - especially when he's right!"  
  
"Spike, I'm sorry for saying the not wanting your opinion. I was wrong. Two things I never want to have to say again. So come on, and we can talk about all this."  
  
So, somewhat in shock, I grab the beers. Clambered into the landrover and we headed off down the track. The watcher drove this a lot faster than the old winnebago, and soon we were sitting under a nice shady acacia tree, with a couple of cold ones.  
  
Sometimes its good to still be around you know. African dawn, huge colourful skies, pure air, vast plain within a huge volcanic crater, and enormous herds of animals. The elephants dominated the water hole much as the Slayer did the hell-mouth. But the zebras, wildebeest and gazelles all took their morning drinks before it got too hot, ahead of another busy morning trying to avoid getting eaten by the predators lurking in the background, so hey back to the hell-mouth metaphor - and always fun to watch.  
  
"OK, my head's clearing up now, and you haven't answered any of my questions."  
  
"Answers, all right - in no particular order or any preferences. Some are longer than others."  
  
"Hah! Whatever! Oh wielder of the mighty answers. Just in case Alzheimer's has set in I will recap. How come you are here? Why haven't you been in touch? How do you know the shaman well enough to call him Samuel? I was told to address him as Shaman. What's happened to me? And I reserve the right for more questions, as I'm sure there will be a supplementary."  
  
"Introduced his sister to her husband. He helped us with the Faith situation; you might have heard that story. The two of them were friends of mine during the Ethan period, but far too sensible to raise demons, didn't need to. So I count as family. The "what I have been doing" will take a long time, and I will tell you later. You are after-all vital in it. But what has happened to you so far. I can show you."  
  
He grabs my beer and pushes me out of the shade into the early morning sun.  
  
  
  
I'm diving back to the shade when I realise I'm not smoking. Nope, not a singe, not a whiff of smoke. More to the point the early morning African sunshine actually feels pleasant, not too hot yet and at this altitude with a freshness all too lacking in the land of the combustion engine and people who can't seem to walk anywhere. Ok, in Sunnydale that is a valid survival choice after dark, but hey, I watch Jerry Springer, and I think I work with some of the only thin people in the States, Whelp notwithstanding.  
  
"You utter, utter bastard. I should. Hey, why don't I want to tear your head off and play football with it? I should you know! For 120 years any git did that to me, that's what I'd want to do! Play the xylophone with your spinal column! What the bloody hell is happening to me? I don't wanna do that."  
  
"First of all put some of this on. I don't want to hear you whinging later on about getting sunburnt on top of the rest. And I really don't think 120 years of vampire-hood builds a base tan" And he tosses me some SPF 25, and reaches into a battered daypack. "And put this on."  
  
"Its purple! I am not wearing a purple fedora. Man's gotta have some standards!"  
  
"And a man also has to avoid a sunburnt nose and ears. Put it on. I don't need it anymore, already got the tan."  
  
"Only if I finally get that bloody explanation. Getting impatient here Watcher."  
  
"OK. The reason you are not burning is a side effect of the Tear of The Mother you consumed earlier. You knew, I believe the Shaman could cure your affliction, so to speak. What was your affliction? Remind me."  
  
"Bloody hell Watcher you know, you were around. Can't fight humans, can't defend myself, can't save others from humans, no matter how hard I work through the pain. Can't be me. Can't live in a cage, gotta be me."  
  
"That's part of it. The chip no longer works. You have what you say you want. But nothing works in isolation. The energy the chip emits cannot be destroyed, only transformed. I think it's this quantum mechanics thing that Hawkins chap talks about in A Short History of Time - but I can't get past chapter 3. Anyway, away from a poor choice of aeroplane reading material. Everything is part of a system. Did you ever wonder why vampires can't go sunbathing?"  
  
"Umm, God, impurity, the usual dammed for all eternity bit leaps to mind."  
  
"Blood. It is all down to blood in the end. You were right in the shop, dam! Again! Other demons can walk in sunlight. Vampires can't. You saw the genesis of the first vampire, so did I. It was imperfect, an accidental infection almost, not meant to be in nature. It was through the blood. That blood never became melded into a single form, it varies. I think that's why some vampire lineages produce powerful individuals, and others mindless killers. It is also unstable in the presence of energy such as the sun - hence vampire flambé.  
  
What you are now is melded. You are still a vampire; nothing natural can reverse the fact you died in 1880. You will still need to drink blood but you won't crave it. There is no need to try and balance an unsolvable equation within your own veins anymore. That is part of why you don't feel the need to eat me.  
  
As for playing the xylophone with my spinal column. That is another effect of the Tear. Vampires lose their human soul, but the blood introduces another animating force, a demon soul if you will, a part of the original demon blended with Lilit. A force of mindless destruction joined with an unrestrained ID. That was the moral compass if you like, handed down to you and other vampires. That compass has been re-orientated."  
  
"Hey, not part of the deal! I'm evil!"  
  
"Package deal Spike. And cut that out, we all know you haven't been evil for some time now. We all know it, well maybe not Xander. Its time to grow up. You got a longer adolescence than most of us, and free will is a responsibility you are ready for. I once spoke of a higher purpose of your chipping to you, and you scorned it. I don't think that would be the case now. I hope I'm right."  
  
"Just don't tell me I'm supposed to start brooding. I may have to stake myself."  
  
"It's set to neutral Spike. Its not a curse, its innate. Now go and get something to eat. And Spike - don't eat the endangered species." 


	2. Wildebeest - Breakfast of Champions

"Wildebeest - breakfast of champions, 10 thousand lions cannot be wrong."  
  
"Sounds tempting, actually. All those wildlife documentaries - must be something in it. I wonder.Mm my Swiss Army Knife, your lighter, tree present and correct. Spike take the knife and cut off a few slices- time for a breakfast barbecue. I'll light a fire. Don't look so worried! You aren't as flammable now, about the same as me I think. Just like the sun bathing. Think of all those marshmallows you kept nagging me to buy - you can toast them over open fires now."  
  
So we have ourselves a nice boy scout breakfast, while the vultures and hyenas fight it out over the rest of the carcass - very tasty, on both counts.  
  
"OK, haven't forgotten here mate! Why are you here and why did you abandon the Slayer when she needed you."  
  
"First of all, "mate," I didn't abandon Buffy. I know she sees it that way, and that pains me more than I can either express and would to you anyway. But she does need to be her own woman, and a grown up, and she can't do that clinging on to me, her mother, or you for that matter.  
  
I do know what's been going on. Anya is my business partner, and an accurate, frequent, if somewhat blunt correspondent.  
  
Part of the terms of signing over a share of The Magic Box was that she would continue to send regular reports on all of you to me. Having to learn Outlook Express to get them was far from pleasant, but needs must. I'm not happy about what happened between you and Buffy, I can't pretend otherwise. I know you are a vampire, but I would have thought you could have handled things with Buffy much better."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"I know you took Buffy's lead. I still don't approve, but hell Spike you are older than she is, and I know over a century with a lunatic does not a good relationship understanding make, but I know you do know better. I know you love her. I don't approve, but I know you do love her. I have also been doing some research on the pre "Spike" portion of your existence. Lydia has been most helpful."  
  
"Oh great! I'm doomed!"  
  
"Youngest son of the Bishop of Winchester, poet - very bad poet, only member of the Order of Aurelius whose family remained alive and sane. Devoted son and brother to his youngest sister - who was, admittedly, deranged enough to publish the surviving verse."  
  
"Stake me now!"  
  
"Spike, time to stop hiding who you are. It's not an option anymore. Don't worry you can tell Buffy and "Nibblet" yourself. One tip - don't show them the poetry, I'm sure you might be able to do better now.  
  
As I said, I didn't approve of a vampire / slayer relationship, after Angelus who would blame me. But you are different now.  
  
Indeed I think you always have been. In fact it would make a great epitaph for you - "Here Lies Spike - I'm Different". I think if you can build on the changes you have made, and the changes made in you now I can approve. Just don't let me down - or yourself! You have a chance now."  
  
"Not planning too Rupert. Thanks for the vote of confidence."  
  
"Can't really do anything else after my own little trip with Samuel. Also I will only say this once. It's too much otherwise. Thanks for saving my life. Both during that summer, and for making that deal with Buffy that stopped Angelus and the chainsaw."  
  
"Welcome. Sorry 'bout Dru there. Couldn't see any other way to stop him, and I couldn't move 'til the slayer arrived. Can we be really English now and stop embarrassing each other?"  
  
"With great relief! Returning to why I left and why I'm here. It was due to conflicts back home. War if you like within the Council of Watchers. A very civilised one so far, but it will turn bloody, and I needed ammunition. What's a more powerful weapon than the truth?" 


	3. The Past

"I've seen the world get smaller over my lifetime. Look at the village. The ceremonial hut is made of dried grass, wood and daub, but most of the buildings have pre-fabricated metal roofs.  
  
We are in a game reserve the size of one of the smaller European countries, but its still a reserve. The people are still here though, and there's more outside. They're mixing with the tourists, following the progress of the Premiership, and drinking coke. Burger King isn't here yet, but give it a few decades.  
  
The big tourist chains already have luxury safari lodges on the crater edge. And you know - part of that is a good thing. We don't have the right to deny the local people the things we take for granted, and you can't share the benefits of modern medicine and deny them the rest, just because we think its picturesque."  
  
"Know what you mean, mate. World certainly has got smaller.  
  
"Zulu" was on the telly just before I came over here. Michael Caine is the man in that pic! You know Rorke's rift was the year before I was turned. Big news, parades, everything. Took Dru to see the film when it came out. All that slaughter - she loved it. Course, it had taken me several years, and lots of dead cinemagoers, to teach her that the pictures on the screen weren't like her visions.  
  
But, yes. I went to Citibank in Nairobi to get some local currency and drove past adverts for Japanese cars on the road out of town. Which was weird considering there were giraffes grazing by the side of the road.  
  
Remember the whole thing; saw some of it in the flesh. Cape to Cairo. Opening up East Africa. Putting down the slave trade in Zanzibar. Not that it seemed to do the Chinese much good when we were there for the Boxer Rebellion! All those parks with no dogs or Chinese signs - don't blame 'em for being pissed off!  
  
War. Height of Empire, more War, end of Empire, Independence, Cold War, and now here we are. But for all the World is smaller not much changes. Did you research show my uncle getting a medal, and a grave, in the Second Afghan War in 1878? Mother only just got out of mourning for him before putting it back on for me."  
  
"It did. We can discuss historical parallels to current affairs going back to Alexander 'til the cows come home, and I think we'd both enjoy it. But events are moving elsewhere, and we need to focus.  
  
I came here searching for answers. Last year Buffy wanted to know more about the origin of the slayers. I confess I wanted to know more too. I gave her what I had. It wasn't much. Even though The Watchers Council has some of the oldest written texts in the World.  
  
The British Museum, The Louvre, The Pergamon and The Vatican even would kill just to see our collections. There are tablets so old even we cannot translate them. They are the works of our ancestors and predecessors. They cover legends, events and facts handed down verbally over countless generations before humans first tried to write their thoughts."  
  
"Same as how Homer got passed on, so we got Odysseus, Troy and The Iliad, right? Always liked him, "the face that launched a thousand ships and burnt the topless towers of Illium, sweet Helen make me immortal with a kiss!""  
  
"Just the same with a lot less sex and a similar level of violence. But the watchers have always remained close to the most stable and powerful rulers of the day. When you've accumulated some of the most powerful magical artefacts on the planet, bred the watcher lines for brains, magical power and sheer ruthlessness its not exactly difficult. That hasn't changed. We may have the main base now in the UK, but it's by no means the only one. And with modern communications location is less important.  
  
In doing further research I found some of the Council were working with elements of the US Government. Hence the Initiative. How do you think they knew what they were hunting? The Time Life series?" 


	4. The Plot

"So its all your lots' fault! I bloody knew it. Plastic stakes, headaches Marie Antoinette would envy, being starved, turned into a lab rat, helpless to defend myself, used, abused, insulted by wankers I wouldn't have deigned to bite. Turned into a shadow of my own former self, and its all your bloody fault! And the US military/industrial/governmental cabal of course. Knew I shouldn't have eaten all those Vietnam peace protesters back in 1970!"  
  
"First of all you daft sod. It was your own fault for coming back from LA to go after Buffy. Though strictly between the two of us I did rather like the red-hot pokers bit on Angel. Cordelia told me about it. Don't suppose you videoed it?"  
  
"Tragically not. Should have done, but I always get the little buttons muddled up. Besides the sound track would have been ruined by that bleeding Mozart, not to mention that git Marcus."  
  
"And as for your recent suffering, the word karma leaps to mind. I think only your helping avert 3 apocalypses has lightened it to the point you can move forwards now. Besides it wasn't my friends working with those berks behind The Initiative. Quite the contrary, they kept it all very quiet from most of us. Didn't even tell Quentin."  
  
"No? From what Buffy has said about "the epit-gnome of evil" I thought he would be all for it?"  
  
"He does tend to come across like that. But he is really trying to keep things moving in a general fighting evil whilst maximising the paperwork sort of fashion. No the chief conspirator in our own ranks is young Wesley's father. A complete swine of a man, I always thought. I think his own son getting fired, then going to work with a vampire- even a souled one - drove him over the edge."  
  
"So what's their game plan? Soldier boys seemed to be out to create perfect, expendable, cannon fodder. What's their angle?"  
  
"Complete destruction of all non human sentient life-forms, leaving only us and those animals deemed suitable for BBC wildlife documentaries, and the Discovery Channel. Though dolphins may survive the purge on the cuteness factor"  
  
"Bloody hell. Why? And why now? No imminent apocalypse is there?"  
  
"As we discussed earlier. The world gets smaller every day. Communication is instant and global. Truth gets out. The quieter demons that just want to be left alone won't be. So there'll be public yetis and Loch Ness Monsters - charming chaps by the way, just rather too fond of scotch. Big Foot, the flying saucer demons and so on all exposed. Ok, those are all mostly harmless, people probably wouldn't panic.  
  
But vampires, fyrals, m'fashnicks, chaos demons, all the cornucopia of demons out for blood and destruction. That would be quite a different thing. People would panic. Up to now we had had the power, and ability, to suppress the fact that they're out there. Denial spells have worked wonders in hot spots like the Hellmouth, and some of the larger cities where demons gather, like London and LA. But even these won't work soon. Too many people are getting immune. People will learn the truth, and many will panic, threatening the current world order."  
  
"Perfectly happy to see the chaos demons exterminated. Yuk - all slime and antlers. Ooh, throw in the fungus demons too."  
  
"Your friend Clem. The one Dawn has written to me about. The half-demons, the harmless, the assimilated, and the good ones. If they succeed, even the Slayers - since their energy is demonic in origin. You."  
  
"OK. Bad idea. On board with that. Where do I come in?"  
  
"First of all, we are going for a drive. We'll pick up Samuel and then we are off to Lake Manyara. It's a soda lake. Lovely colours, wonderful flamingos. Perfect for the next stage. Put the fire out and I'll pack up. I'm driving."  
  
One long landrover ride back to the village, over the top of the crater, through some heavily forested areas, back through some more huge plains, yet more ruddy widebeest, and baboons making more baboons, we got to a stunning lake.  
  
If I still wrote poetry I hate to think what rhymes I would have come up with for the turquoise of the water and the amazing pink of untold thousands of huge flamingos.  
  
The three-way debate en-route over the relative merits of The Doors, Deep Purple, and The Clash was fun too. Listening to the tapes with the top down and the sun beaming in a nice non-fatal fashion was even better. Even if Giles did make me keep the bloody purple fedora on, and slap on the sun- cream. Good to be with people with good musical taste.  
  
One thing still wasn't good as we crossed the sand to the edge of the lake.  
  
"Arggh, little buggers. Little professional solidarity here wouldn't go amiss. Who would have thought vampire blood would be so bloody popular. Feels like half the mosquitoes of the Great Rift Valley have come to the grand opening of that fashionable new restaurant Chez Spike! How come they aren't laying a bite on you Rupert? Understand not biting the locals, natural immunity an all that."  
  
"Must see if you and Ethan are related, or have/had the same blood group. Do vampires have blood groups? Must find out. He would get eaten alive too.  
  
When we bummed off round India he spent most of the time we weren't stoned off our heads or hunting down really great - but very bad - spells looking for hydrocortisone cream. Then there was that dive of a hotel I picked in Bikaner where the air-con blew in mosquitoes instead of cool air. I never got a single bite. He looked like a blotchy pin-cushion. I think that's one of the reasons he hates me."  
  
"Anyway, time for the next stage. You may be here for some time. Prey empathy lesson time. Don't climb the trees. The lions here can climb them too." 


	5. Lessons in Empathy

At that he and the Shaman held hands and chanted something in a language I didn't understand. And I do speak 37 human and demon languages. Though some of the minion ordering phraseology tends to be limited to grunts and ugghs, so they aren't too demanding.  
  
I freeze in place. Brain fully functional? Check. Eyesight the same. At least whatever the shaman did to me hasn't resulted in me having to go back to glasses all the time, as opposed to reading glasses. Being vamped helped a lot. I can see fine, even when not vamped out, for driving, the telly, and normal stuff. Reading hurts after a while though. It's a real shame though, always loved books. You can see why I gave up wearing them though. You try being the big bad feared vampire with glasses falling off your nose. Difficult in a fight too. Not to mention the grief I got from peaches about them.  
  
Hello, mouth and voice still functional.  
  
"Oy! Communication skills here, you tossers! You can probably get a course on it! Or is it the Sunnydale influence? Don't talk to the vamp. He might actually have a chance to know what's going on!"  
  
"Sorry, Spike, but for this stage you won't be able to move a muscle, other than those involved in the senses. You have to be able to feel everything."  
  
They picked me up and plonked me under a tree. Guess Rupert doesn't want sunburnt vamp, as he makes sure that daft hat is still firmly planted on my head.  
  
"You will be here for some time. You will not be able to move. What you will experience should help, but might prove painful. It is necessary though."  
  
More funny words, some wacky smoke and a couple of crystals. No fire this time though. If I am gonna be here a while I am going to feel a bit chilly once the sun goes down. Vampires don't have the same sensitivity to temperature changes as humans, but we do feel it. With the changes that tear made in me, and my blood, I think I'm gonna feel the cold when its dark.  
  
"No fire?"  
  
"No defences; no limits. Samuel and I have some scrying to do. Nothing to do with this. We will be on the other side of the lake. You won't be able to see us, or hear us, but we will be back - eventually."  
  
And they just up and left. Story of my life - again!  
  
There's a little hyrax - looks like a squirrel: same size as a squirrel: closest relative - the elephant. And they say Mother Nature has no sense of humour.  
  
It's on some rocks basking in the sun. It's completely missed the cheetah stalking it through the bush. Should be a nice easy meal. Gorgeous animal, pure lean predator, sharp claws and some truly impressive teeth. It springs, but at the last moment the hyrax sees it and goes off running.  
  
Suddenly I'm not me. I'm being chased, swatted with sharp claws; I just know pure fear and adrenaline. I can't escape. I'm too slow; it's too fast. The claws trip me and the fangs go into me. Pain, fear and death are all I know.  
  
I come back to myself, still shaking.  
  
Moments later smoke forms. Out of it comes a woman in black. Honey brown hair, mixed with plenty of grey, done up in a bun. Blue eyes surrounded with the marks of too much grief. A mourning broach making a sad counterpoint to the mourning rings on her hands.  
  
"Mama? No! Now that's cruel!"  
  
"I wept for you. My dearest son. My blessing, and my solace in widowhood. My pride. My clever my good son. I buried you. I kissed you for the last time. I still have the broach from your lock of hair. It matches the rings from the 2 sons I had already given back to God. Then I'm told even your grave was desecrated. Your sisters and I couldn't bear it. No grave to tend, your body missing."  
  
"Mama, no please don't cry. I'm here. I love you. I always loved you. I created so much trouble that we had to leave London so you'd all be safe." Tears were rolling down my face, but I couldn't even move to wipe them away.  
  
"Your friends, the ones that said such lovely things about you at the funeral, all dead - so horribly. That Addams girl, who was so sweet, sent away to the Continent and never seen again. All so soon after losing my own dear brother. Your brothers tried. John was so good to the girls, but he was so busy in the City It was never the same. Dear Henry, wrote such wonderful letters and took Lizzie back with him to India, but he was so far away. I needed you. We all needed you."  
  
"Mama, I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was getting into. Once I did it was too late. I couldn't come back. I wouldn't have got the chance either. I didn't meant to make you suffer."  
  
"But you could make others like me! How many other mothers like me William? How many lost their children? How many lost beloved wives of husbands? How many lost dear friends?"  
  
It seemed that untold thousands of black clad mourners filed through me. The anguish, the loss, the question "WHY?" went through me again and again.  
  
Their sheer pain was agonising. I've been tortured by artists of the medium. Angelus in his more whimsical moods, Darla like a cat playing with a canary. Hey - even a Hell-God. I would have traded hours of that to get rid of this agony. But it just kept coming and coming.  
  
"Goodbye, darling. We will see each other again. I know you can do this."  
  
She kissed me on the forehead, like she had when I was a child. Then she and the others disappeared. 


	6. Lessons - The Hunted

A small herd of elephants came down to the lake for a drink, magnificent beasts with great ivory tusks. After seeing Mother this reminded me of the hunting trophies my brother and uncle had sent home from India. Tiger skins, stuffed birds, racks of horns, tusks, an elephant's foot umbrella stand. All were quite normal in our station in life, something to be proud of having.  
  
But I could smell humans. Not the watcher, nor the shaman. They would surely see me. How could I explain what an Englishman, in a purple Ecuadorian hat, was doing, unable to move, under a tree, in deepest Tanzania, with tears running down my face?  
  
I didn't have to. They brought out their AK47's.  
  
I shifted again. I was the great matriarch of the elephants, taking my family from water to fresh food. Responsible for my whole family: with my baby trotting beside me. Then, pain, more pain, my own, my child's, my whole family, all dead.  
  
The poachers took the tusks and just left the once great animals to rot.  
  
Thinking of the trophies made me sick.  
  
More smoke. Another woman appears. But this one is dressed in cheap tawdry finery, reeking of gin. A worn face, eyes that had seen too much. Still young; but looking so much older.  
  
My first victim.  
  
I remembered Angelus, holding the streetwalker he'd brought with him, to the cemetery for my rising. Him whispering to her that he would feed her to the devil himself.  
  
I remembered how, half-feral from digging myself out of my own grave, her fear and the scent of her blood had called to me like nothing I'd ever craved before. I remembered my fangs sinking into her throat, and the sweet taste of blood rushing into me.  
  
I shifted again. I was her; with teeth in my throat.  
  
"You killed me. You killed my child that waited for me in that foul little room when I never came back. You didn't even know me."  
  
I saw her life. A poor family in the country sends a daughter to London to be a kitchen maid. No chance to stay at home in an agricultural depression. Working all hours, working her fingers to the bone, and only 14. The footman her only friend. Only until he gets what he wants. With child; a fallen woman. He denies it's his, turns his back as she's turned out. No character so no new job. Living in absolute terror of the workhouse. Takes in sewing. Can't feed herself or the child. Only one way to get money. The horror of it drives her to drink. The big Irishman, the Fear. Death.  
  
"Sorry, I'm sorry. I never knew there was a choice."  
  
The lake boiled. My victims erupted from the lake, all of them passing through me. My mind assaulted by life after life, after endless life, all with only one thing in common. I killed them. Their hopes their dreams; their pain; their chance to do; all cut short by my fangs, and my whims.  
  
It took a long time to stop the tears. The sun had moved across the sky to mark early evening before I got some of my composure back.  
  
A pride of lions were using the elephant corpses to ambush a wildebeest drinking at the lake. There were 4 females and a young male. They formed up in a long slow stalk. They were in an arrow formation. The wildebeest was completely oblivious. From a stalk they moved into a lope, but just before they could break into a co-ordinated run the young male went off too soon.  
  
Never been a problem of mine.  
  
The wildebeest was last seen heading for Kenya and some slightly more patient lions. The females looked very annoyed. The male seemed to imply it was nothing to do with him. I wonder who that reminds me of?  
  
At least this time I didn't get torn apart by lions. Felt like it though with all those people.  
  
More smoke. Oh joy.  
  
This time it's a feral girl, in rags, with mud on her face and dark skin. Slayer, from the vision the Shaman showed me. There are no words from this one, just her death at the teeth of a sister neither can recognise as such.  
  
More slayers... all of them in fact. All their deaths experienced as my own.  
  
Fangs, claws, horns, clubs, rocks, you name the instrument of death it was included. Death in life affirming battle. Suicide by vampire. Death pointless and arbitrary. A Roman slayer choosing to die in the bath - her wrists slit - as befits a patrician rather than support the burden any longer. A Spanish slayer burnt by the Inquisition, as a heretic, and a witch. A Jewish slayer gassed in a camp. So many slayers killed by their own watchers: some turned and put down; some in that stupid test; others so badly injured they couldn't heal when the battle demanded a new slayer. So many that died alone and desperate. So many with the death wish. I felt myself kill the Chinese slayer, felt my own neck break in a subway train.  
  
Worst of all - Buffy.  
  
The Master's fangs, and the murky water. Angel's fangs taking me close to death. The energy draining me as the light swirled around me. The peace I hadn't had with the other deaths - something different.  
  
I could move finally. In theory anyway. At least I could wipe my face.  
  
In the distance I could see Giles and the shaman. Good job too. It was getting very dark, and the hippos were getting ready to get out of the water. I read my Lonely Planet before coming over - most dangerous animal in Africa. No way was this boy staying here much longer.  
  
"Ah, Spike how are you?"  
  
"Fully empathised, totally full, can't take too much more right now. Need a fag actually too." So I light up, and it works its magic.  
  
"Good, pleased to hear it. Sorry, know it was hardly pleasant. But we have a bit of a situation."  
  
Then she appears, literally. "Anyanka?" 


	7. Revelations and Rememberence

Her face was still veiny from apparating and she looked at both Giles and me. "That's good, both of you in the same place, that should save us some time."  
  
Giles was looking at me with an expression I couldn't fathom. And I pride myself on fathoming expressions. What he did say was mundane, but welcome. "Lets all go back to the landrover. Samuel has a fire lit, and we can talk safely."  
  
So we walked back to the vehicle. The moon had risen, but it was full and the humans, as well as myself and the demon, could all see clearly. The hyenas were cackling in the background. I could hear the sounds of a Bob Marley tape coming from the car radio, and could see the welcome glow of a fire with 4 camp stools around it. Somebody knew we'd be having company.  
  
The Shamen comes up. Congratulates me. "A good solid A. It would have been an A+ but you missed the point of the lion hunt. Impatience is a fault of all sides of your being. But I think it's such a part of your personality we may need to do lots more work on that. But we have time in future I think. At the moment we have a guest."  
  
Giles grabbed me by the scruff of my neck. "You knew! You knew she was a demon again."  
  
I'm fed up of people doing that. "Well, it got a bit obvious. A couple of times actually."  
  
"We copulated."  
  
Why is there never a stake around when you want to fall on one? "We were both dumped, depressed, and completely and utterly hammered when it happened. Not that it wasn't very good of course."  
  
"I had many orgasms. He is much bigger than Xander." Can you die of embarrassment? I think I might and Giles has steam coming out his ears. Steam, mm? Not blushing, steam.  
  
"I should have known to stick to men not boys after our quickie under the counter, when we were engaged and amnesiac. It's just so much better, when they know what to do with it."  
  
He let go of me. Explains a few things.  
  
Great I shagged Step-Mum. My un-life as a Jerry Springer special continues apace. Not only am I in love with a girl still screwed-up by my own grand- sire, have a family more interbred than a hillbilly, said beloved walks in on me shagging Step-Mum, with Step-Mum's ex-git. "Giles?"  
  
"We had amnesia! Decided to keep quiet about it so nobody got hurt. I was leaving, we were both horrified about betraying Xander, even if we were innocent of any intent to do so. It's why I couldn't bear to come to the wedding. I'm sorry about that Anya. I wish I had. Even if it hurt. Maybe I could have knocked some sense into the boy. Got him to behave like a man."  
  
"Not holding my breath on that last point mate."  
  
"Why didn't you tell me you changed back? Or come to talk to me about it first"  
  
"I sent you an e-mail!"  
  
"There's no phones for miles, let alone internet cafes! Why didn't you talk to me? I thought we trusted each other."  
  
"We do. It was straight after the wedding and the only person I had to talk to was D'Hoffryn. So - Me."  
  
"Spike?"  
  
"Hey, back up. Doing the right thing there I was. Left the wedding before it all went to pot. Buffy was hurting seeing me there. So did the right thing. Sorry Anya. I would have stayed if I had known. Would have done me best. Didn't even know about it until much later. Nobody keeps me in the loop."  
  
Watcher-boy visibly gets himself back together. Cleans his glasses. Rubs the bridge of his nose, and switches from soap opera character to watcher.  
  
"Anya, not that I'm not delighted to see you. Though I would prefer you hadn't felt it necessary to return to being a vengeance demon. You made a wonderful human being. Why were you looking for Spike and myself?"  
  
"It's Tara. She's dead. Warren shot her. Oh, and Buffy too - but she got better."  
  
I thought that with all the crying I had done in the last hours I was all cried out. I was wrong. My eyes were already raw and gritty, but I filled up again. It hurt -on all levels.  
  
"No! No. No. I never should have left."  
  
"Told you that!"  
  
"And as I told you I had to. If I hadn't we would all be on our way to joining poor Tara. Witches are in danger too. They aren't pure enough humans! Not for those bigots! Though I think those serving the conspirators' may survive, as little more than slaves."  
  
"OK, you had to go. Get it. Take it they were who you were scrying on - not whatever crap was going down back home."  
  
"Correct. We have time. They aren't ready to move yet. But not much time."  
  
"Time to give Glinda her due though?"  
  
"Of course. We all need to."  
  
We sat around the fire, under the bright huge moon the good witch had loved so much.  
  
"She, she was kind to me. That summer. She patched me up after the tower. She talked to me. Like a person.  
  
"She was of all of us an innocent."  
  
"Remember the prescription medication remark on that peppy vamp?"  
  
"Doubt I'll ever forget, not with nearly being strangled at the time!"  
  
"A laugh and deep fried peppy vamp - it was class! Remember bopping her on the nose, and she was sweet about it."  
  
"It was to help her, but she was sweet. You missed the Grr Argg puppet she gave me when I left Sunnydale the first time. Adorable"  
  
Anyanka joined in. "She was the only one of the girls that made the effort after Xander deserted me. She left messages on the Magic Box answer-phone wanting to know how I was - not asking me to listen to Him."  
  
"Teased me with a twinkle in her eyes. Not drop of a sneer or malice."  
  
"Treated me with some respect, and actually recognised I knew what I was talking about."  
  
"The only one of my bridesmaids that actually helped me with my vows, not that it mattered in the end."  
  
The Shaman handed all of us a beer from the cooler. Under a black velvet sky, the stars clear and bright, we raised our beers to "Tara". The 3 of us, the vengeance demon, the watcher and the vampire all came together in a tight hug. It was a silent one. It lasted a long time. It helped.  
  
In silence the music segued from Exodus to the haunting refrain of Redemption Song.  
  
Won't you help me sing, these songs of freedom: Is All I ever had, Redemption Songs, All I ever had, Redemption songs.  
  
Anyanka broke the silence. "Willow has also gone mad with grief and black magic. She froze me in place, bitch! Stole from the Magic Box - AGAIN! Tortured and incinerated the nerd that killed Tara. D'Hoffryn was right to offer her a job though. She was very creative.  
  
She almost killed people on a bus pursuing Warren. Dented Xander - and he's mine to deal with! - in chasing the other nerds. Buffy and Xander have taken the other two away from the police as they can't protect them from Willow. Buffy still thinks its wrong to kill humans, and as the other two haven't, she thinks she has to protect them. Pfft."  
  
"She can't bring herself to hurt Red right?"  
  
"No. I could, but none of them will make the wish needed. You could."  
  
"But won't. No way, never again, it'd hurt Buffy too much. Not going there. But between us we should be able to knock some sense into Red."  
  
"Won't work. She's lousy with black magic, won't let anyone close enough to talk, and won't even listen to her beloved best friend in all the world."  
  
"Big gun's gone all screwy."  
  
"Mmm. I wonder. Big Gun. Samuel would you?"  
  
"Of course Rupert. But I can only leave the Valley now for up to 24 hours. The Mother likes to be close to home." The Shamen chimed in.  
  
"Rupert?"  
  
"Buffy once called Willow her big gun. Well the closest analogy for Samuel is a cruise missile. You know - the kind that turns right at traffic lights."  
  
"Guess we better go and save the day then." 


	8. Once More Unto the Breach

Of course then some vigorous debate ensued on how to get there. I mean not short of options here. Road and good old British Airways, vengeance demon powered wish travel, and spells. Don't like magic much. Always wanted to try a window seat, plus duty-frees. After the last couple of hours I'm almost out of fags, and in dire need of a good smoke.  
  
I got overruled. Get the speed factor - it's the risk of being turned into a stink beetle bit I've never been keen on. Dru did it once playing with the mojo. Not one of the best weeks I've ever had.  
  
The shaman refused to travel by wish. Mother wouldn't approve. So spells it was. Isn't that always the way.  
  
I get the day-pacs out of the landrover - seem to have been allotted sherpa duty in this scenario. Shaman gets with the chanting - and presto perfectly camouflaged landrover. More chanting - synchronised with Giles this time - and some sparkly powder and presto Magic Box.  
  
It was empty of people and looked like a vandal horde had been through it. So that accounts for Willow and Buffy.  
  
Giles and Anya shot up the stairs to see what of the heavy stuff had gone. Shaman did some meditating stuff. I checked out the weapons. Picked up a few throwing knives in case I need distance. Wish I had the shotgun here. Giles really has to bring the weapons chest into the 20th century at least. Not asking for the 21st. Added a nice axe, grabbed the last bag of blood in the small fridge. Hit the spot. It was old, but I'm gonna need to be in full control, and don't know when I'll eat again. Really don't want to have to kill the witch, especially after the last few hours, but might have to. Ironic much huh?  
  
Giles and Anya came down looking well pissed off. They were also carrying some powders, amulets and books. Books - what a surprise. It was - most of them seemed to have lost the words from the vellum. Take it that is not good, judging by their faces. If it were just Anya I might think she was just pissed off about losing valuable merchandise, but both she and the watcher looked a bit scared, as well as determined. A scared vengeance demon - now I am officially, as Buffy would say, wigged.  
  
Shaman looks up. "I have found the dark witch. She has a great deal of her own power, but also that of another. One as dark but more controlled."  
  
"Rack, gotta be."  
  
Giles starts at the name. "He's here?"  
  
"You know him? Must be. Red got in with him. Did something to her. She got totally off her head and bust Nibblet's arm."  
  
"Nobody told me Rack was involved. I would have come... no, I couldn't - but I would have ensured he was dealt with. Anya? Why didn't you tell me about him."  
  
"Xander never told me. Nobody ever criticises perfect Willow to the ex- demon. No its all Willow is addicted, poor Willow, we have to help her not call her on stealing our memories or anything."  
  
"Know how you feel luv. Couldn't do anything myself - human. Tried to warn Buffy - but same story as you pet. How do you know him."  
  
"He was an acolyte of Ethan for a while after I left him. Was into mind trip magic rather than power. Bad stuff, damages the users and opens them to worse. Not like real magic, that's not addicting - that's rot. Willow already opened that door in herself in re-souling Angel. I told myself her natural sweetness could stop her sliding into darkness. I was deluding myself. The rot was already there. We've all seen it. Or been blinded. Should have stopped it when she threatened me."  
  
"Umm.how are going to do that now?" Enquiring minds wanna know.  
  
Anya starts putting amulets round our necks. "These are protective against black magic, but allow protective and healing spells on the users. Very valuable - don't damage them."  
  
"Samuel, are you ready?" He was, and starting making motions and yet more bloody chants. If I hear much more chanting I'm going to think I'm a monk - and lets face it - not exactly suited for that as a lifestyle.  
  
Once this was finished Giles picked up his crossbow, and a sword. Anya was packing the powders which apparently stunned, confused and induced sleep. She was also carrying a blindfold, chains and a ball-gag. Mm hadn't noticed any toys in the basement, must keep 'em upstairs. Plus she gave us the how to make effective wishes to vengeance demons lecture - so they don't result in your own painful and protracted demise. Precision is the key apparently.  
  
Rupert and I looked at each other and almost simultaneously said, "Once more unto the breach dear friends". 


	9. The Breach

We were walking up to the cemetery somewhat in the style of The Good the Bad and the Ugly, but a lot more attractive. When my little girl runs up to us, with a lop-eared friend in toe.  
  
"Nibblet! What the hell are you doing here."  
  
She grabbed hold of me crying. "Spike, you came home. I knew you wouldn't leave us. Even when Xander was saying some really horrible things about you, I knew you wouldn't hurt us, and you'd never leave us. Buffy said you'd both had a misunderstanding, but he kept saying such horrible things. He wouldn't listen to me, it was so yuk."  
  
I just held her close in a big hug. She's got even taller in the short time I was away, she's gonna catch me up soon. Hasn't even sunk in that its daytime and I'm not on fire she's in such a state. "I'm here, it's all right. Sorry Nibblet, had a mission to attend to. Left a message, with Clem here, that I'd be back. No way would I leave you both. Had to get some things fixed. Did more than I bargained for but it's worth it. Good to see you in sunlight. Looking good Pidge."  
  
"God, Spike I hadn't even.It's a good look. I like, I very like. And Giles, you're back! I missed you. We all did so much. Don't think it would have all gone so screwy if you'd been here."  
  
"People keep saying that Dawn. It's nice to know. Wish we didn't have to find out."  
  
"What are you doing here pet? Not safe."  
  
"I want to help stop Willow."  
  
"It's too dangerous. I won't be able to protect you. Clem! I told you to keep an eye on her. Stop her getting into trouble. This isn't it! Take her to the crypt. There's weapons there.if the worst comes to the worst."  
  
"I had to move all your stuff to my place. Sophie has a dust allergy."  
  
"Great, just great."  
  
"We did run all your stuff through the washing machine though. Boy were some of those stains tough to get out."  
  
"Wait 'til we try the Africa clobber. Thanks, but we gotta get Nibblet to safety. Take her to the Magic Box, there's still a good selection of weapons in the back. We'll handle Red. Can't do that worrying about you two."  
  
She was still holding on to me for dear life, but nodding. Giles handed Clem a key. When what worthless git should turn up but the whelp.  
  
"Get away from her, you animal. Brought more evil demons to torment us I see. Giles? What are you doing with that scum? Ooh it's the ho, careful Giles she'll be after you too, or maybe Oz. That's right isn't it, ho? You go for the demons."  
  
Nobody upsets Nibblet, hurts Anya, hurts and really pisses off Giles, and I'm sick of his self-righteous bigotry. Never could stand hypocritical bigots. Ate lots of Nazis in WW2 for that reason, and hey demon but still English.  
  
"Anyanka, I wish that Xander Harris is only able to speak to say something pleasant."  
  
She went all veiny and "Wish Granted." Whelp's mouth was opening and shutting like a fish, but nothing came out. Mm. "The Sound of Silence". I was never a Simon and Garfunkel fan but this was just neat, and such an improvement.  
  
I sent Nibblet and Clem off to the relative safety of the Magic Box and the four of us continued on to the cemetery.  
  
Monkey boy follows along. Being both thick and unpleasant he hasn't managed to say a word. But comes out swinging a punch towards me. I grab the fist and squeeze. Now this is where the old me would have loved popping the bones out of that particular fist and turning it to paste. Don't have an urge to do that. Don't feel anything forcing me to kiss it better either. Like this neutral business. Free Will that's the way to go - in both senses. But the idiot is delaying us and that could be bad.  
  
"Anyanka, I wish that any pain or injury Xander Harris inflicts or attempts to inflict on me be felt by him times three."  
  
Veiny. "Wish Granted." A bloke could get used to this. The look in the whelp's face was priceless. I let go of the fist.  
  
We get to the cemetery. Buffy was busy fighting some demons. They looked just like the one the witch incinerated when she bust Nibblet's arm. Buffy's even thinner, but still poetry in lethal motion. Red is up on a ledge overlooking the cemetery. Her eyes were black, like they were in the gas station, when we were on the run from Glory, but now so is her hair, and even her lips. I don't think there are many geese wandering around Kensal Green Cemetery, but one definitely just wandered over my grave.  
  
The Shaman started chanting. Giles nodded to me, agreeing to my unspoken intention to help Buffy with the demons. Anya faced Giles and they rested their foreheads together just for a moment. The Whelp looked sick, and tore off towards Red.  
  
Giles made a wish to Anyanka that any pain or injury Willow Rosenberg tried to inflict would rebound on her times three. It was granted. I used the throwing knives on the demons - thinning the herd for Buffy.  
  
A web of what looked like white lightening shot towards Red from the Shaman. She tried to counter with red energy bolts towards us, but they consumed her instead. She was screaming, but still fighting. She summoned more demons around us this time. The whelp was screaming to her that he loved her and would be there for her. She wasn't paying a blind bit of notice of him and continued to summon demons.  
  
I got busy with the old slice and dice. Once I was through with Red's presents I could see the white lightening leaching the black from Red's hair and lips. Her eyes were still as black as obsidian. She launched a fireball at us, but it rebounded back to her. It didn't burn her, as she must have some shielding spells up - explaining why Buffy couldn't get at her - but it did enclose her in flame.  
  
The Shaman now did some arm waving stuff, and as her eyes returned to green her shields went down. She was screaming at Buffy that it was all her fault and she'd put her back in the ground. Giles turned to Anyanka and wished Willlow Rosenberg would lose her voice until he allowed her to talk again. She granted it and Red fell silent.  
  
She wasn't finished yet. The Whelp was still crying out to her that it would be all right, everything forgiven, as he loved her. Yeah, don't you just love a double standard? She looked at him and he flew backwards, knocking himself out.  
  
Giles and the shaman were chanting together now, and the witch was visibly weakening. The way she was looking at us made my skin crawl, and remember I got brought up with the amusements of Darla, Angelus and Dru. But she was now starting to look frightened, as her magic no longer responded to her control. Looks like the boys have bound it - or dam close.  
  
Anyanka and I ran towards her, as the boys continued to chant. Buffy killed the last of her demons and joined us, shouting to us not to kill Willow. Anyanka blew the powders into Red's face, and she started to topple to the ground. She took the blindfold and I took the chains. I yelled to Buffy that we weren't gonna kill Willow, and she held her while I did the chaining. Anyanka finally applied the ball-gag. I think she enjoyed that, after all the little put-downs over the years.  
  
I could still hear Giles and the Shaman chanting, and could feel Red going into a deep state of unconsciousness, under the chains. The boys came up still chanting, and she finally went completely under. Finally I could breathe - metaphorically speaking of course.  
  
"Spike, you're all non-flamey!"  
  
" Had a re-tune luv. Good/Evil-wise. Courtesy of the Shaman here. Not evil anymore. Free of it, feels great. You don't have to worry about any urges for evil plotting anymore. Not flammable either. Get to go to the beach too. No more blanket, which is great coz bit old for carrying a blanket around. Never did like feeling like a Peanuts character - though that Snoopy was ok. Charlie Brown was a wuss though."  
  
"You gave him a soul?"  
  
"Why do you place such a weight on "having a soul""?  
  
"You can't love without a soul!"  
  
"Did Spike love you before he went away?"  
  
"Yes, but that doesn't count! It can't!"  
  
"Does your sister love you?"  
  
"Of course. She means everything to me. She's all I have! And what's that got to do with anything."  
  
"Your sister has no soul."  
  
Buffy's jaw dropped in a floor wards direction.  
  
"And you came back with the most important part of yours missing." 


	10. Explainations

"Your soul is fractured. Most is this side of death, but the best part remains on the other side. Anya here tells me that the spell to resurrect you was interrupted. Your mind and body came back initially without any problems other than the whole digging yourself out of your coffin thing. But you left that which enables you to feel love and connections on the other side.  
  
The lack of this is killing you - literally. Your body and mind are consuming themselves trying to make up the loss. Look at you - nothing more than skin and bone."  
  
"Told you to eat something!"  
  
"Shut up Spike," said Buffy.  
  
"No, done doing that. So Shaman, Rupert what are we gonna do about it?"  
  
"Fix it Spike, don't we always," from the watcher. Silence from the shaman.  
  
But first retreat from the crime scene. Even in Sunnydale it's not exactly smart to hang around too long at the site of multiple explosions, bloodshed and bodies. Wonder how much they pay the cleaners to clear up all the dead demons 'round here? Great now I've got mental pictures of a Sunnydale Tony Soprano buying a new Merc on the back on all our patrolling.  
  
So, back to the Magic Box. Whelp won't let anyone else touch Red, so he gets to carry her.  
  
As the Watcher and Anya walk their fingers keep brushing against each other. They seem to get some comfort from it. I'm happy for them. Hope they can work something out. He's worth 10 times the whelp. Won't let her down. Hope they can get past the demon thing. Won't be easy, but I think they could be happy together. Want them to be. Drunken, comfort, fling aside Anya's a friend and I want the best for her. He could well be it. Poor sod deserves some happiness too after taking all this grief the last few years. She'd be good for him.  
  
My beloved is quite a different matter. She hasn't said a word since the Shaman said his piece. Holding herself like she's freezing. I stop and put my coat around her shoulders. Massive eyes looking shocked, but there is a hint of gratitude coming through.  
  
It helps to know what's wrong. Still hurts. But it does help.  
  
Clem opens the door to the Magic Box and we all go back inside. Both him and Dawn put down the weapons they were holding. Dawn enfolds Buffy in a massive hug, saying how happy she is we are all in one piece - even Willow. With my coat swamping her and Dawn getting so tall it's difficult to see her. But she's still standing at least.  
  
"Watcher, what are we going to do with Red. She's fine and dandy now but."  
  
Shaman pipes up. "I will take her. Her magic is bound through me. I can control her until she can be trusted to do it herself. The Mother may be able to help her.  
  
And Rupert, you told me this is the one that loved to teach and is intelligent enough to do so. My people are rich in many things, but very poor in others. The school has over 120 children, of all ages, and one teacher. It's got a roof, which is more than some, but very few resources and so much need. She could also learn much, most of all some humility. But she can also make some reparation by helping the children. She will be away from all the comforts and temptations she knows. It will be good for her to see a very different world.  
  
It will also be easier too for all here if she goes away for a while, I think. Rupert if you will release her voice, whilst she remains unconscious, I will place a binding on it, so she can never use it for magic, or to try to leave the village, unless I allow it."  
  
"But what about the hotels? She could hitch a lift to the American Consul and be back and more pissed off than ever. She can also drive." Definitely don't wanna have to do this again soon.  
  
"She will be under a magical compulsion that will stop her making any attempt to leave. I have a great deal of influence locally. The authorities and local tourist companies won't be a problem. These can all be placed on her while she is out, but are delicate, and I will need somewhere quieter to do so."  
  
"The training room should be free. "Xander take her into there," ordered the watcher. Don't think anyone wants to look at her right now anyway. Whelp manages to say. "I'll stay with her. I love her." The rest of what would undoubtedly be a rant is mercifully muted. Might not be formally evil anymore but it warms the cockles of my un-beating heart to watch his mouth move and no sound come out.  
  
We put the weapons and powders down, take off the amulets, and had a well- earned sit down. Clem put the kettle on. He makes a good cuppa. That's hard to find this side of the pond. But at least Giles and Anya always keep good tea, and that always helps.  
  
"So Giles we gonna sort Buffy now?"  
  
She looks up from Dawn's hug. Dawn moves her to the table and sits her down. "Molecular sunburn, molecule shift, nothing wrong. Tara said. I've not come back wrong. I haven't. Please, Giles tell me I haven't."  
  
"If Samuel says it's the case, you did. I'm sorry Buffy but I have never known Samuel to be wrong, not on matters like this, and certainly not since he became the Guardian." He hugged her quickly and continued. "Tara was a lovely young woman and a talented witch, but her knowledge compared to Samuel's is like a 1st grader compared to a professor at Harvard. He's right, but we'll fix it. It's what we're always here to do - now that sounds familiar. Nobody has summoned any dancing demons have they?"  
  
Rousing chorus of no.  
  
So research.  
  
Lots of research, helped enormously by epic amounts of tea and the return of the shaman. Buffy was visibly returning closer to the normal she'd been since she came back. She didn't let go of Dawn and kept looking at her. Think a few worldviews were getting changed. Hope so for her own sake as well as mine.  
  
Between the shaman. Giles and Anya it didn't take that long.  
  
"The spell called to Osiris. Looking at the Egyptian model of the soul we seem to be missing the Ba."  
  
"The bit I'm missing is a human headed bird? Weird much Giles."  
  
"Metaphor luv. Represents feeling"  
  
"Thank you oh William - Raider of the Lost Crypt! Where's the fedora?"  
  
"Umm. Giles bag actually."  
  
"Ok now I know I'm back in the asylum - no, that place made some sense."  
  
"The artefact we need was part of the treasure found with Tutankamun."  
  
"So off to an old bazaar in Cairo then?"  
  
"More of an wonderfully well filled with artefacts museum. Fortunately, one of the curators and I were on the same course at Oxford together. Introduced him to his wife as well. I'm sure he'll lend it to me. Be good to see Cairo again."  
  
"Why don't we just wish it here or summon it or something. Summoning would be of the good," from Buffy.  
  
Even I know you don't do that to such potent magical artefacts. Not that it's not a tempting thought. I mean I haven't even been back to Clem's yet to pick up some clean clothes. Could do with some clean socks right now.  
  
"Not possible Buffy."  
  
"So you are leaving me again! For my own good! Irony much Giles?  
  
"Oh no. You and Spike will both be coming too."  
  
Now we both look gob-smacked. 


	11. Preparations

"So not wanting to leave Dawn right now."  
  
"Buffy, it's important she stays here. We really need to maintain a semblance of normality here. It's only because we won't be able to take the statuette out of the museum for more than a few hours that mean you have to be there. If you don't come you will die. That's not an option."  
  
"Too bloody right on that one. Come on luv it'll be fun, and we'll get you all sorted."  
  
"Why is it all so important things look the same here. It's always quiet in the summer for some reason."  
  
"Over to you Rupert."  
  
"We'll fill you in later when you are back to yourself." Probably a very good decision - don't want a ballistic Slayer on our hands right now. And if know my girl we are talking Apollo X111 here. Course my little girl isn't too happy either.  
  
"But I want to go too. Soooo not fair!"  
  
"It should only be a couple of days - max. Besides Nibblet somebody has to look after Miss Kitty."  
  
"Clem could! He's nice."  
  
"Sorry, Dawn. Love to help but can't. Sophie's allergic, and I'm also trying to give up the kitties. Promised her you know. It's hard, they don't make patches for it."  
  
Watcher takes off his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose. Was over-due I guess. Or stressed. "Xander can stay with you for a couple of days. I'm sure Clem and Sophie will be happy to pop in too."  
  
"Of course. Actually come round for dinner tomorrow. It's goulash, and she's a dab hand with the paprika. Sophie would love to see more of you."  
  
"Ok, guess I don't have much of a choice do I."  
  
"Nope pet."  
  
"But. Presents! I get presents right?"  
  
"Too right you do pidge. Loadsa presents. But not gonna tell you what.ruins the surprise."  
  
"You can help us all Dawn. Could you go with Buffy and help her pack for a couple of days?" Cleaning glasses so working up to something.  
  
"Sure, happy to."  
  
"Buffy. Please pack some smart clothes that cover your arms and legs, and well pretty much the rest" Ok spoil my fun. "Also Dawn I think Tara had some, well, more baggy clothes, and probably headscarfs, please put those in." Yep definitely out to spoil the view. But understand why. Judging by the glare from a pair of huge hazel eyes a certain Slayer doesn't.  
  
"You're choosing my clothes now! Controlling much!"  
  
"Practicality. I know you have CNN. I hope you are watching it. It's a volatile time in the region. Most Egyptians are lovely people, had some great times there. But there are fundamentalists who've killed westerners before, and in a handkerchief and leather trousers you will be too much of an attractive target. Also it is their culture and we should be sensitive to it. If a headscarf and some more covering clothes make you less hassled walking about you'll also have a much more enjoyable time. Plus we don't want anyone recognising you, or Spike.so he'll be in the hat."  
  
Bugger, bugger, and double bugger. Planning to lose the dam thing. Hate it when watcher boy is right too.  
  
"This once, and taking a lot on trust here!" At which both my girls left to go pack. Fortunately Clem offered to take my bag back and do a sock, shirts and jeans change for me. Clean socks - can't beat the feeling.  
  
Which left us to deal with the whelp.  
  
Rupert and I went into the training room. Red was lying, out to the world, in a ring of candles and chalk sigils. Whelp was sitting on a mat head in his hands.  
  
Watcher took a deep breath. "Xander, we need you to stay with Dawn for a couple of days. Buffy needs to come with us, or we will all lose her again."  
  
Lights on, face red with fury, mouth moving, but nothing coming out.  
  
"Look you complete waste of sperm! Grow up! Get over yourself! Cut the crap, coz nobody is interested in what passes for thoughts in what you laughingly call a brain." Ok not exactly Mr Tact. But not evil anymore not blind.  
  
Whelp manages to get something out. "Love Dawn, I'll keep an eye on her b." then the bile rises again.  
  
"You know Harris I could still make that wish Anya was musing about. The one where you get ritually flayed, and your still beating heart is ripped from your chest." Gotta love a girl with a sense of poetic irony." Or there is the one where you get deposited on a Pylean maggot heap. or to return to the classics, Sisyphus and the food and drink forever out of reach would make a nice change from having to watch you stuff your face with your mouth open. My mother taught me better manners than that." Actually it was Nanny but I ain't saying that round the whelp.  
  
"Spike! Not helping."  
  
"Sorry, Rupert. Not evil, but still me you know. Not gonna do it.probably. Unless driven to it."  
  
"Understandable after those comments earlier. But if we could get back to the task in hand."  
  
Whelp says "Willow? What's going to happen with Willow." Glad to see he finally realises he has to play along.  
  
Rupert told him. I was wrong. Some people just don't get things even when they are spelt out in words of very few syllables. But at least it means quiet. With those sigils he can't touch Red and he will look after Nibblet. Glad Clem will be keeping an eye out too though.  
  
We went back into the main room, and Giles visibly breathed easier. Must be hard. Know it is.  
  
"So we flyin' or what? And does Buffy even have a passport, know most yanks don't. Certainly don't have the right visas in my passport."  
  
"She has one provided by the COW, which she doesn't know about. But I don't want to use it. It will cause alarms to go off, which is the last thing we want. If she has one of her own it would still raise alarms. Mine also possibly.but less so. You have a passport?"  
  
"Yeah, 'course. Might be dead but still mobile countrywise. Hate these new ones though. Wrong bloody colour!"  
  
"I know. Burgundy! Hmpf. Only proper ones are blue. Guess we're both showing our age."  
  
"As the oldest here I also have the solution", piped up the unusually quiet vengeance demon. Guess all the relationship woes are still tying her up in knots too.  
  
"Make a wish either of you, for each of you and Buffy to hold a mzukshem."  
  
"Uh?"  
  
"Vengeance demons often assume identities to grant wishes. For the last century at least we've needed identity and travel papers that pass any scrutiny or inspection. It's a real pain in the butt. Hence the mzukshem. They show whatever identity you want, always have all the right stamps, and change at will."  
  
"Know what you mean luv. The number of border guards I've had to eat over the years. Hungry or not, just to avoid the bloody form filling. Not that I'd do it now, course. Any preference which of us does the wishing? We ain't gonna run out of wishes are we, coz give us some warning."  
  
"Both of you have so much pain, no, I.you won't run out. I wish you could. Wish later for a portal to Cairo. But no preference, just get on with it."  
  
So I do and bingo. Shiny new (actually battered looking for authenticity) passport. My real name, a not too bad photo, and a dramatically different birth-date. One for Giles and Buffy too, both under false names.  
  
Giles didn't want to call his mate in Cairo from the Magic Box in case of bugs. I mean I think they found 'em all, felt like it anyway. Said he'd do it from the hotel. Anya got on the computer and booked the Hilton Cairo, nice and central. Might have gone back to demonhood but she's still good with the net.  
  
Giles, Anyanka and the shaman had a long discussion about the spell he'd have to perform. In the meantime I popped 'round to the butchers for a well- earned meal and some takeaway for the trip.  
  
When I got back they'd finished, and the shaman opened a portal back to Tanzania. We hugged him, and he told Rupert and me to bring Buffy back to see him after we had restored her. Said he'd seen a number of failed epiphanies on her aura, and his wasn't going to be wasted.  
  
The Shaman carried the unconscious, chained, and magically bound Red back through the portal. I could see the landrover and the lake with its flamingos shimmering in the background as they went through. Hope he can help her. Helped me, must be hope.  
  
Whelp had come to see Red off with tears coursing down his face. Then he just slumped in a corner.  
  
Clem returned with my clean clobber. He's turned out to be a good mate. Lucky there; know that. Buffy and Dawn arrived much later. Since most of her wardrobe wasn't in the running for the trip think they must have spent most of the time talking. Good, she's been ignoring the bit for too long. Both were pissed off to have missed Red, but I promised Buffy she'd see her soon, and I just hugged Dawn 'til she calmed down.  
  
Anyanka had to leave. She had a job come through from D'Hoffryn. Charming London girl cruelly dumped by cheating LA journalist for a Slovakian slut. Anyanka looked quite chipper at the prospects of some really juicy vengeance, but still looked like she'd prefer to be with Rupert under some starry minarets and pyramids.  
  
Giles looked so torn at seeing her off to do that, when all he clearly wanted to do was hold her. Know how he feels.  
  
Before she left I did the wish, and she opened a portal to Cairo. 


	12. Ice Cold in Cairo

I took Giles and my bags. Buffy, as ever, insisted on doing things the hard way and carried her own. Then all three of us went through the portal to Cairo.  
  
It was night in Cairo. Anyanka had been considerate. We were in an empty alley beside the Hilton and just over the road from the Egyptian museum. Points to the demon for sound planning.  
  
We went through the heavy doors and the porters relieved us of the bags. There were swarms of 'em. Can't be many tourists about. Not surprising really, things being as they are news-wise.  
  
So check-in. Two twin rooms, and I'm sharing with Giles? Well back to the Odd Couple. What happens when Anyanka comes back? I saw her face, she'll be back. Bawdy french farce? Room hopping? It's not a Jerry Springer eppy anymore it's gonna be more of a "When did you last see your trousers" West End Farce. But all in all it's probably for the best. Buffy and me, we gotta lot to sort out. Got to get her fixed too. Can't dive back into the maelstrom. Not if we're gonna make something real out of this. Something whole; something not agonisingly painful. Well, we're gonna do it, and if I have to share a room with watcher-boy that's a small price to pay.  
  
10 minutes later watching him sorting out his laundry and cataloguing his travel battered laundry before sending it down for cleaning, I reserve the right to change my mind on the whole it's worth it bit.  
  
He had to make some calls to his mate. So I knock on the room next door and invite Buffy down to get a drink and some food. She can't have eaten much today, and it's been a hard one for all of us. We all desperately need some sleep, but I know none of us, or the others back in Sunnyhell, are gonna sleep easy tonight. A nice drink, and if I can get her to eat something, should help both of us sleep a bit better.  
  
She surprises me. She comes down. She's had a shower and changed clothes into a peasant blouse. Thankfully not that foul purple one. She looks knackered, far too thin, and still a bit shell-shocked, but a bit more at peace than she's been since she came back. At least she knows now what's wrong with her now, I guess.  
  
I order a nice cold draught beer. Not quite "Ice Cold in Alex" but bloody welcome none the less. She has a diet coke. I insist she needs building up, and remind her she's wasting away, and could she at least have a fat coke. She surprises me again. She doesn't fight and agrees. Good! Real coke tastes better anyway. I get us both some nice fat chips. She orders an omelette. At least it's not rabbit food.  
  
Then, silence. You know. The sort when there is so much to say that neither of you know where to start. There's lots to look at though. The hotel overlooks the Corniche - the road by the Nile - and the bar had a great view of it. Course it's night, so the river is just a pitch black ribbon with the skyscrapers mingling with the minarets. So we both admire the view. It's changed since I was here last. No skyscrapers last time. Hopefully not so many mummies this time either. Can well agree with that bloke with the floppy hair in The Mummy - I hate mummies.  
  
We're rescued from having to discuss "the relationship" by Giles joining us with a beer. Just this once I don't think I'm up to it. Give me a good nights kip first. Been through some stuff. He looks parched for it as well. What a couple of days! He slumps into the comfy chair and sups up.  
  
"Calls and laundry all sorted mate?" Not going back 'til they are.  
  
"Thankfully. I am meeting Khalid tomorrow morning at 11 at the museum, and the concierge assures me I should look presentable by then."  
  
"So, no problems with getting the statue then?"  
  
"Not that fast, you know that. Not the way things are done here. We'll talk about that tomorrow, not right now. You should both be able to see something of the town in the meantime."  
  
"I never thought I would ever see abroad. Died twice and still never left the US of A. I can't believe I'm here. Will Willow be OK? Can your friend really help her? Not that I'm not grateful for all that you all did to help us with her. I thought.I thought.I thought I'd have to kill her. I'm still not sure I could have. Not again! It's all my fault. If I'd taken things seriously.Tara." She burst into tears. Thankfully even a travel-worn Giles always carries a hanky.  
  
Giles gathers her up in a big fatherly hug. I want to do it. I was good at soothing Dru. But an easily distractible lovely loon can be easily hushed with promises of treats and kisses. Haven't had much experience with humans. People didn't hug when I was one, not the done thing at all. I mean I'm better than I was after the practice with Nibblet. But it's less complicated coming from him, and he's making all the right shushing noises. So I order us all some more drinks.  
  
He's holding her hands and saying all the right words I wanna say to her. God, this hurts. "Willow will be fine, eventually. Samuel is the ideal person to help her. He helped me after Eyghon. And that was before he even became the Guardian. He's helped Spike here too. If he can help him."  
  
"OY!"  
  
"Sorry. I think she still has some good left in her, so I am sure he can reach her. I'm sorry you had to go through that. We all miss Tara. She was a lovely and gentle soul. It's not your fault she died. You didn't kill her. An evil person did. We can't control others, even if Willow tried. We can only be liable for our own acts. We all made mistakes and we'll all make further ones. But, we are only human."  
  
"OY"  
  
"Sorry, fallible? Fallible beings. We all underestimated the danger. We all bear some guilt."  
  
"Do an all pet. Feels horrible too. Not used to it yet. Does anyone get used to it?"  
  
"No, but we learn to live with it. Or un-live in your case."  
  
"So, Buffy. I'm glad you didn't have to kill her, for your own sake. I know what it would do you. But you didn't have to. We're here for you. All of us. Now blow your nose. Eat up and drink your coke."  
  
"Yeah, we can see the treasures of King Tut tomorrow right? And get Nibblet some prezzies. Souk shopping.much more fun than a boring old mall any day. Biggest souk in the world if I remember right."  
  
"Yeah, shoppage. That'd be nice. But money?"  
  
"No worries pet. All changed into the local stuff. Dollars go a long way here too. All above board too, so no fussin'. Sup up it'll be a long but fun one tomorrow"  
  
So we ate, drank, watched the deep black of the Nile, and had a well-earned kip. Or at least I tried to. Hope Anyanka doesn't mind the snoring. It was muffled from the bathtub. In the next bed.and with vamp hearing. Major karma points to the blond un-chipped vampire! Time was anyone snoring like that would be just asking to get eaten, or worse. But to have somebody sleep soundly knowing you could tear their throat or tongue out, it's a good feeling.  
  
So I forebear. Quite proud of meself really.  
  
But tomorrow should be fun. 


	13. Artefacts

All three of us headed off to the museum straight after a nice big breakfast. Since it was just over the road we were able to linger over brekky. It was nice. Even got to read the morning papers. Very civilised. Only a minor dispute with Giles over who got The Times first over the Tribune.  
  
  
  
"Mm. 50 centuries of recorded history. Can't you just feel it." Honestly if history was an addictive substance you'd think Watcher-Boy had just done a couple of lines of Colombia's finest.  
  
"Last time I went to a museum an Inca Mummy Girl tried to suck the life out of Xander."  
  
"And you stopped her!" You try resisting that one.  
  
"Spike! Trying to be conversation girl here. We did sort of get out of the habit."  
  
"I know. I missed it. Wasn't for lack of me trying though. But…peace, pet. Tell me about it." So she did. Whelp certainly always has been a demon magnet. Still think she should have let the preying mantis have him. But then again… No. Definitely no propagation of the Harris genes should be permitted, for the sake of the future of any species.  
  
"Know what you mean though luv. Hate mummies. Nasty buggers. Especially the flesh eaters. Yuk. Don't wanna come across any of them again in this un- life."  
  
"With both your histories in mind then, please avoid the Mummy Room. We really don't want to have to do any slaying, or cause an international incident. Low profile. Do the tourist thing. I need to go and see a couple of old dig friends here before my appointment with Khalid. If I don't I'll never here the end of it. Besides there are some other things we need, that they can provide. So I'll either see you back at the hotel or I'll leave a message in the room. If you have to leave do the same. Enjoy."  
  
  
  
So...here we are…together. In what can only be described as the biggest, most stuffed warehouse of ancient Egyptian artefacts on the planet. Not exactly where anyone would probably put us for a "date" after everything that's gone on maybe.  
  
  
  
It works though. There's so much to see we don't have to have "the talk". You can tell it's coming though. Like thunder you can taste it in the air. But always been one to make the most of the moment. This is definitely taking me back to museum visiting with Mama and my youngest sister Lizzie. They both loved the British Museum and we used to go regular. So know something about all this, and what I don't know, or remember, is on the notices by the objects.  
  
I tell Buffy about that. She's so stumped at the thought of me having a family, and one that enjoyed going to museums, that she's silent from the proto-dynastic period right through to the Old Kingdom.  
  
  
  
We sit down in front of a pair of incredibly lifelike full size statues. Rahotep and Nofret, it says. Prince of Egypt and his wife at the time of the building of the pyramids, and still together. Thousands of years together wouldn't be enough, but I'd take one year as a start. Blindingly white kilt for him, and long white robe for her. Think I'll stick to the leather. Hiding her hair under a wig. No more hiding, not for either of us. Rock crystal eyes stare right into me. Wonder if they see me, or just a thing? Wonder if she does. Not sure I want to know, but know I need to. Not yet though. Need to get comfortable together first.  
  
  
  
There's cute statues that make her laugh. The dwarf and his full sized family. Not politically correct, not that that's ever bothered me, but it's so good to see her laugh. Some of the pharoah statues are of solid granite and basalt. She's feeling the 6-packs on the statues, and I swear I see her doing a compare and contrast with mine. From the look of her I'm ahead on points.  
  
We pass Nefertiti and Akenaten - weird looking bloke - on the stairs. She's taken with Nefertiti and asks if the famous head is here. Tell her how I saw it in Berlin when it first arrived, and how Hitler refused to let it go coz she was so beautiful and "Aryan". Tosser! We got the Sphinx's beard in the British Museum, think he got the better deal. Though the Elgin Marbles ain't bad.  
  
Once she finds Hatshepsut the female pharaoh who ruled for 18 years and got her boyfriend to mind the kid Nefertiti drops well down the charts. Better bear that in mind. Hell, knew the whole girl power thing anyway. Just as long as she doesn't insist on wearing a false beard! A kilt and topless I could probably learn to live with.  
  
  
  
Upstairs we hit the jewellery room. So much gold, so many gemstones and semi-precious stones she's in girly heaven.  
  
"Dawn would love this. Look at this tiara! It's so delicate, and so pretty. 12th dynasty, that's ages ago right? Looks so now though."  
  
"Yep, thousands of years old and still sparkly. Little Bit certainly would love this room. Have to keep hold of her sticky fingers though."  
  
"It's your fault you know."  
  
"Oh no. She was out knickin' stuff well before I got to know her, and never taught her owt about it neither. Nope. Not pinning that on me. Not solely anyway. We all should have done better by her. Wanted to. You wouldn't let me see her, not after…"  
  
She continues to surprise me. "You're right. Especially if she doesn't have any kind of soul! God! Spike what do we tell her? How do I talk to her? She wanted to know more about who she is. How do I tell her this?"  
  
I grip her shoulders and look into those huge eyes. "Soul ain't be all and end all. Still the same Dawn. We just know now she doesn't have anything influencing her to be bad or good, she can still be ok. We all can. I got a re-tune on my moral compass, so I don't have any push towards dumbass bad plans anymore. It's a good feeling to be free of that push in the veins. But I got tuned to neutral luv. If Dawn hasn't got a compass at all we can get her to internalise one. Good, or neutral…up to her. Free will, and a positive example. All we can do really. But above all gotta be honest with the bit. She's smart, she'll cry, she'll screech, she'll cope. And you know how. Coz we'll both help her. Been re-tuned, it hurt. She don't have to hurt. Not if we do it right."  
  
She nods.  
  
Tears welling in her eyes, but not falling, we left the jewellery room for the death masks. Huge heavy things. Glad didn't have one of those on when they did me.  
  
  
  
We come to the King Tut exhibits. Shedloads of 'em. Can see the shrine things they all came in. Beats Anya for gift wrapping skills. Talk about fitting a quart into a pint pot.  
  
She's easing. Visibly relaxing. We come to one display case. There's lots of smaller pieces in it. But she's only looking at one. It's a little wooden mummy with two small birds whose wings cross over the body.  
  
"Look, isn't it beautiful. How delicate the birds are." It's true. There's no gold on this. You can see the wood-grain. Even the band of hieroglyphics round the mummy is utterly simple. It's one of the simplest things I've seen in a museum stuffed beyond belief with treasures. But this is so full of feeling it looks like a gift of someone who truly cared. The two little birds' wings cross so carefully; looks like they don't want to wake the person, just keep him safe, keep him warm.  
  
"I feel. I feel warm. Why do I feel warm? Oh, weird! No. Oh, feeling dizzy."  
  
She slumps a bit and I drag her away from the case. No more strange mojo for my girl. As we get away from the case she shakes her head and whatever it was clears.  
  
  
  
"Ok now that was weird. What was that Spike?"  
  
"Dunno luv. But looks best to be away from it. Not keen on the old mojo."  
  
  
  
So we go into the room off the corridor. It's a big one, in all senses. More gold than I've ever seen and stuff familiar from the papers and the telly over the years. Tut's gold coffins, enough jewellery to keep Peaches in hair gel for centuries and the famous death mask. Three gold coffins, and a really heavy gold and lapis mask. Somebody really didn't want him getting out. The work though is amazing, and I've seen a few things in my time.  
  
She's looking into the face of the death mask. Her eyes aren't blinking but the frown is deepening between her brows.  
  
"My head! Ow. My head." She's clutching her head in pain and slumping again. OK no more culture we're out of here. So I pick her up and carry her out of the museum.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Notes. The Hotel is as placed. The artefacts described do exist in the Egyptian Museum, which is incredible and well worth seeing for anyone with an interest in the subject. Any effects are for the purposes of the story. Though the death mask does have a headachy effect on many people, according to anecdotal reports. 


	14. An Old Bazaar In Cairo

So after my Rhett Butler impression we get outside and she perks up. So I help her stand up and we go across to the hotel. I sit her in her room with a coke from the mini-bar, and go next-door to write a note to Giles. Not an easy one, what with worrying about all that weird stuff. It takes a while. But I know he needs to know what happened to help her. I take the hat and return to my girl.  
  
  
  
The coke's worked. She laughs.  
  
"It's purple! Why are you wearing a purple hat?"  
  
Grr.Arggh. "Blame Watcher-Boy, he insisted. Incognito and no sunburn an all that! Besides you don't get away scot-free!" I pick up a headscarf draped over the chair and put it on her. "Dad's fault, right luv?"  
  
"No fair!"  
  
"Least we agree on something. Come on. Lunch!" Girl needs a bit of meat on her bones. I need a fag…badly.  
  
"Fresh air first?"  
  
"OK, pet. Nile sound good to you?"  
  
It did and we braved the traffic and slavering hoards of pedestrians, hawkers and there it was. The Nile.  
  
  
  
"You know luv. Done most of the big rivers in my time. Played dominoes on the river boats of the Amazon. Had fun with the 'gators and voodoo priestesses on the Mississippi. Lived and died near Old Father Thames. Danced on the bridges over the Seine. Even went for a dip in the Ganges."  
  
"Knew you were nuts!"  
  
"Upper reaches, pet. Still pretty fast. Not totally gone. But this is special. You being here, an all. Walk with me?" I offer an arm like Mama taught me so long ago. Surprises don't stop. She takes it and we walk beside the river.  
  
"It's bluer in daylight."  
  
"Colours change. Lot's of things change." I certainly have.  
  
"You have. I still can't get over seeing you in daylight, and no flaming blankets in sight! Though that hat!"  
  
"Certainly have luv. Much prefer this to last time we were in the sun though. Said some nasty things. They weren't fair. Was jealous of that tosser, I 'spose. Didn't realise it at the time."  
  
"S'OK. Maybe my thing about you losing a bet to be with Harmony was a bit…harsh? No. Not the right word. But, hey, not good at being talky girl"  
  
"You were pretty right about it though." Really must swear off drinking too much at some point. Especially after being dumped. That was a bad hangover to wake up to when combined with excessive Harm perkiness.  
  
"Not the worst though."  
  
Oh bugger. Don't think I can do that part of the talk. Not ready, nope, definitely not ready. But, if I have to get down on my knees right here on the Corniche in front of everyone I'll do it.  
  
"The Judge! Spike what were you thinking! Especially with all the Acathla helpage. I've never understood that one."  
  
There is a deity looking after de-chipped, re-tuned vampires with issues.  
  
"I was depressed!"  
  
She's just looking at me. Enormous eyes she's got.  
  
"Dru wanted the bits. Could never bear to let the woman I loved down. Couldn't do it for 147 days, spent over a century doing it for Dru. Besides, knew you'd take Big Blue Smurf down. Would have loved to see you with the grenade launcher! Hey! Why didn't we use it on that bitch Glory?"  
  
"Xander took it back to the base, and he can't remember the access codes anymore."  
  
"Always knew he was a waste of space."  
  
"Play nice!"  
  
"OK, I'll try. Come on luv, lunch! Local cuisine an all that. Then prezzie shopping for the bit!"  
  
  
  
I hailed a cab and told the guy to take us to the Khan el Khalili bazaar. We drove past the skyscrapers and a traffic island with a huge statue of Ramses. Pretty sure must be Ramses - most statues in Egypt seem to be, least they were when I was down in Luxor last time I was here. She's holding hard onto my arm. No seatbelts and her first experience of third world driving conditions she's doing well. Hasn't started gibbering yet.  
  
  
  
A number of missed lights, near misses with pedestrians and donkeys later we get there. The roads got seriously narrow. With all the stalls and people milling around driver did a good job, and achieved a zero body count. Will deserve a little baksheesh.  
  
  
  
I tell the guy to stop at a tea-house first. Gonna need some caffeine before introducing Buffy to the delights of haggling as an integral part of the shopping experience. Don't want her breaking her "I don't kill humans except as self defence from loony Knights, duck. Or worse, me.  
  
  
  
We get a table. She's still stressed and hasn't let go of the leather yet. Got the thousand yard stare of culture shock. It's not easy but I manage to get her sat down. Bit of a change from the Sunnydale Mall though, must admit. Love it!  
  
It's all men sitting in the café, overlooking the busy shoppers. Women must be out doing all the work. Way the world's always worked I suppose. Not fair neither. Blokes in here, and on the streets, are wearing a mixture of western clothes and the long robes and headgear. Since it's bloody hot must be cooler in the robes. Donkeys and cars both taking over the narrow street, but there seems to be an underlying order to the wonderful chaos. Can't see any tourists. Should be able to get some good stuff if I can get Buffy to be patient enough to haggle properly. That might be tough.  
  
She's eases her grip long enough for me to give the order to the waiter. Order her a mango juice, can't be healthy drinking all that coke all the time. and get coffee and a sheesha for me.  
  
As the drinks and water pipe arrive the stirr we caused by walking in passes and the blokes return to chatting, smoking, and playing backgammon.  
  
  
  
"You're smoking a bong!"  
  
"Sheesha pet, not a Hookah. Tobacco soaked in honey and taken through a water pipe. Lovely and smooth. Haven't had it for years. Can try if you want?"  
  
"World of no. Is it good?"  
  
"Superb, and was in dire need."  
  
"Hooker? Strange names here?"  
  
"No pet. Hookah with an h. Hash smokin' toy, rather than lady of easy virtue."  
  
"It's all so strange. All the people, those thin towery things"  
  
"Minarets luv."  
  
"The smells."  
  
"Takes me right back."  
  
"Uh"  
  
"Eau de donkey here. Horses and carriages when I was growin' up. Look pretty on the telly, but…"  
  
"All the stalls! All those herbs and spices. Tara…"  
  
Tearing up again. Know how she feels. Glinda would enjoy herself here, I think. Loved art and remember talking with her over the summer about some of the places I'd been, and some of the things I've seen over the years. She'd have loved the museum and been in her element browsing the heaps of spices. Made great cakes too. Miss her.  
  
"I know. Miss her too. We'll enjoy it for her, pet. Tara." And we raised our drinks to the good witch.  
  
  
  
"Watcha drinking. Not beer and doesn't look like tea. Neither a Spike nor an Englishman drink?"  
  
"Turkish coffee luv. Strongest in the world, they say. Dunno. Tried cafezinhos in Brazil, expressos in Milan, might be right. Tea's too strong and too sugary here. Besides Brits don't just drink tea! That's cultural stereotyping! That is! But this sets you right up. Try some?"  
  
"UH, Grit!" She grabbs her juice and drains it. I motion the waiter for more.  
  
"Gotta take it slow. Sip, Let things settle down. Then it's great. Lots of shopping energy."  
  
"Great, hyper-caffeinated Spike. But that means lots of bag carrying energy right?"  
  
"Yep, but food first. Some nice kebabs ok?"  
  
They were, so we munched away and soaked in the atmosphere. No more fainting fits, now we were away from the museum. Hope Rupert got the note. Hope he's gonna be ok. This thing with Anyanka ain't gonna be easy on his worldview, and the practicalities are gonna be tough too. Know he loves her though. See it every time he looks at her. But I hope they can make it. We're gonna. Eventually. 


	15. The Perils of Prezzie Shopping

Nibblet prezzie shopping started well.  
  
We walked round the narrow streets inhaling the scents and atmosphere. For a vampire, and a slayer, that's pretty intense by itself. Arabian Nights meets 21st Century poor country. The density of people and the sheer contrast to 21st Century California must have been a bit of a shock for Buffy but she was coping well. Nice to see her taking an interest in anything actually. Been too long.  
  
  
  
Wearing a headscarf and some of the baggiest clothes I've ever seen her in, (probably Tara's) she wasn't getting too much hassle. I suspect my looking like I'd eat anyone hurting her might also have something to do with it. Never wanted to hurt her, not letting anyone else.  
  
Know it can get pretty annoying, especially if not dressed for the culture. Got dead annoying for Darla, know that. She got fed up of eating pests. It's rather difficult in public when you're trying to keep a low profile. She got a pair of wedding rings and made me wear the other one. Definitely not one of my fonder memories. Princess was well annoyed with GrandMum.  
  
  
  
Then we saw the cat statue. Copy of one in the museum. Very elegant. More of a dog person myself. There was a nice Annubis in the little shop too. Looked like a Doberman, always liked them. Misunderstood breed. Miss having a dog but they perceive "predator" and it's not good. Nibblet would love the cat. I wouldn't mind the dog. If nothing comes of all this I want something to remind me of Cairo and just this…walking and talking, together.  
  
  
  
So we start the bargaining.  
  
  
  
20 minutes in, the mint tea arrives and the price has been shaved down from farcical to merely ludicrous.  
  
She's learning fast. Girl was born to shop. Finds the mint tea bit sweet though.  
  
But it just drives her to further haggling heights. Criticises the workmanship, the materials, and the price. And it's still at an early stage yet. Girl has a talent for criticism.  
  
After an hour the price is about half the original but no-where near what it should be. So I throw in a slight interest in the dog.  
  
She gives me the glare but dives straight back in.  
  
More mint tea.  
  
After an hour and a half both statues are half the original price of the one. Guy isn't budging.  
  
So we stand up to go.  
  
Shopkeeper's good. We get to the door and the price drops again.  
  
More mint tea. Gonna be swimming in the stuff. Fortunately the shopkeeper is keeping me in fags or I'd be desperate here.  
  
Just before the two hour mark. Result. Two very nice statues wrapped to go at a reasonable price. Just got the Watcher, the demon, and the shaman to get something for now. Hope we're here long enough!  
  
  
  
"We should let Giles know where we are. But I don't want to stop now. Not fair." Followed by the pout.  
  
I'm doomed.  
  
I have an idea. Yes, I know those can be dangerous. But this was a good one.  
  
  
  
"Anyanka!!!"  
  
Puff of smoke and she appears.  
  
Shopkeeper runs out screaming, "Djinn, djinn, djinn.  
  
Ok maybe it wasn't a perfect idea.  
  
  
  
"You summoned me? Oh Spike! Buffy! Ooh! Nice statues and the jewellery here is good too. Wonder what the profit margins are?"  
  
"Sorry to disturb you."  
  
"No problem. One journalist no longer able to read and write. Quite an inspired wish, that one. So job done. My time is free at the moment. You called?"  
  
"We want to be able to stay in touch with Giles. Could you do something you know magical or something."  
  
"Better than that. 21st Century. Wish for a triband mobile phone for you, Buffy and Giles. Works everywhere, and the sort I can grant don't incur bills."  
  
"I could kiss you!" Glare plus eye roll. Bugger. Mouth foot thing again. "Not that I would of course in any sense but that of friends, coz that's all we want to be. Right pet."  
  
"Of course. Now wish and I can take Giles one to him. I might have to spend lots of time showing him how to use it."  
  
So I wished. We swapped numbers. Fiddled with ring tones and she apparated off to Giles. Hope that too many of his archaeologist mates don't have heart attacks when she appears.  
  
  
  
I'm in trouble. She's still glaring. Never had a chance to clear that up. But we're gonna. And where we can't hurt each other.  
  
  
  
We exit the back, in case of irate, shocked shopkeepers. Head off to a little café and take a back table away from view of the street. Helps after all that mint tea that she needs the loo.  
  
Goes. Comes back looking blanched.  
  
Sits. Waits. Bugger. Ok hear goes the Anya thing out of the issues stack.  
  
"Buffy, you know that was just a figure of speech right? We are just friends. Nothing more. Just a one time thing. Two hurt and needy people needing some affirmation that anyone thought they were worth something. A mistake. Not meant to hurt anyone. Just stop the pain for a moment."  
  
Silence. This is not good. When in a hole keep digging. Never worked but hey, one day, maybe. On the plus side she hasn't thrown anything at me. Yet.  
  
"I don't love her. Like her as a friend. Gotta lot in common afterall. She doesn't love me either. Think she thinks of me as a friend. Hope so. But she doesn't love me. She loved the whelp, but he shattered her. She loves Giles now. I think. Know her loves her."  
  
Mouth open. Jaw hitting floor and heart racing. "God! I am so oblivious Buffy. I missed so much. Willow going all wonky. Xander going all wedding avoidy. Dawn stealing. He's my watcher. I should have noticed."  
  
"Bit busy with the whole coming back from heaven thing, pet. Got an excuse. Besides, Watcher-Boy is good at hiding things. Missed it myself. Only realised down in Tanzania, when he went ballistic."  
  
"it's why he didn't come to the wedding isn't it? Thought demon hunting was a lame excuse but…God I was so self-centred. I drive him away with my remarkable self-involvement and everything goes keplooy."  
  
To be fair she hasn't got fixed yet, let alone epiphanied so I'll let that one slide.  
  
"Maybe you didn't help. But it's not your fault luv. Lots of things going on that kept him away. Nothing to do with you. He'll tell you later, when you're all well again. Do think it's why he couldn't face the wedding though. Never easy to see the woman you love with another man. Especially if you care for the bloke too."  
  
"No, can't be I guess. Poor Giles, poor Anya, poor Xander."  
  
"Have to disagree on the last one pet. Made his own hell there. But, yes I'll play nice. Know we don't agree on him. But hope those two can make it. Want them both happy. Think they can be together, even if it ain't easy."  
  
"Not easy at all. But I do want him to be happy. God, what I put him through over the years. Jenny…the Initiative. I'm not gonna stop hurting for Xander. He's my friend. But Giles deserves to be happy. So non- judgementy girl.here." She sits up straight. "If she makes him happy, I'll try."  
  
"Know that'll mean the world to him pet. Don't expect you not to hurt for your friends. Loyalty to 'em. Always admired it."  
  
  
  
Phone trills "Three Lions on My Shirt". Hey! World cup coming up and I like that one.  
  
It was a rather flustered sounding Giles asking us to meet them at a restaurant near the Al Azhar mosque. So we left. 


	16. Dinner for Four

It wasn't that far so we walked. I could hear the muezzin calling the faithful to prayer. Meant there weren't so many people on the streets. So got there nice and quick.  
  
"That was what woke me up this morning. It's so loud!"  
  
"Yeah, but bloody useful for a vampire pet. Sunrise and sunset, who needs an alarm clock. Not sure 'bout the other three. 'Sides look at the white stone mosques and the citadel thing we're in. All Arabian Nights…even got our own djinn! Gotta have a soundtrack. It'll be flying carpets next."  
  
"No. No flying carpets. No carpets of any kind! Dusty! Bad Carpets!"  
  
I like carpets…well rugs anyway.  
  
  
  
We got to the restaurant. Giles and Anyanka were already there, and clearly in the middle of "A Talk". They were so engrossed they barely registered us taking the empty seats. So I motioned to the waiter for beer and a coke for me and Buffy.  
  
Anyanka was fiddling with her necklace, and looking up at Giles with a deadly serious face. "A version of you destroyed my necklace. Would you do it again?  
  
His looks so torn. "Everything I was taught since I was 10 years old says I not only should, I would have to. I killed Ben because I had to. It was my duty. Duty is bred into the watcher bloodlines you know? Goes along with the magical ability and the brains. Those that betray duty don't tend to survive long enough to pass the taint on.  
  
"You killed Ben? God! I didn't even ask about him. Why didn't I ask? I should have asked. You killed Ben? You killed a human?"  
  
"Watcher did the right thing pet. War for the multiverse, that was! Hell- Bitch would have come right back. Had to be done. War's not clean, not simple. Didn't take out scum like Hitler by turning the other cheek. Had to fight, had to kill. Ben had to die or…or losing you wouldn't have mattered. She'd have come back…Nibblet would have died. We all would. Besides pet, that was no innocent. Bit told me about it over the summer. Gave her over to the bitch for immortality. Gave her over to bleed and to destroy the mutliverse. Lil' Bit had nightmares over that…and losing you all summer."  
  
"Nightmares! But, she never told me. God, maybe she still does. Had so many of my own I never…How do you know about them when I didn't?"  
  
"Me and the Bit pet, spent a lotta time together in the summer. Helped each other get through. Keep going. Weren't easy, bloody hard actually. But, helped each other. Missed it. You can talk about it when you get back, and are well enough."  
  
"Rupert made the only sensible decision. We all helped hide the body. It was fun. But you haven't answered my question Rupert. I need to know…I…I can't take another betrayal."  
  
The drinks arrive. Watcher looks well relieved.  
  
"Anya, I can promise you this. I wouldn't willingly do anything to hurt you. Nearly destroyed myself leaving you and the children. Not talking with you in the shop everyday, not seeing you light up at the simple pleasures of life. Had to leave after we made love under the amnesia spell... Had to do the right thing. But I missed you and the children I'd watched grow. Even missed Spike. On very rare occasions."  
  
"Uh?"  
  
"OY"  
  
"Sorry. Anya "The Necklace" represents everything I was trained and bred to fight against. But one thing I have learned is most things aren't black and white. Having a vampire in the tub who both helped to save the world on several occasions and yet plotted to betray us to Adam shows that."  
  
"Umm, sorry 'bout that again. To you too pet."  
  
"Uh?"  
  
"Some things are utterly evil, and have to be fought with every fibre of one's being. Very few things are completely good. They are worth protecting to the same extent. It was a joy seeing you become happy as a human. I will miss that, if you stay a vengeance demon. If you want to return to humanity I will support you, and I will be overjoyed. But I won't force that choice on you. The me that did isn't me. OK now only on the hellmouth would that make sense. If you want to stay as you are. If that makes you happy I can promise to try. And your necklace is safe from me. Is that enough? I know it won't be easy."  
  
"But it is a start Rupie. Interspecies relationships are always hard."  
  
"Tell me about it!"  
  
"But Clem and Sophie are lovely together. He's even giving up kittens for her. Krelvin ran off to Vegas with Cousin Carol, and opened a repair service. They sent such a lovely postcard to the shop. There's hope. There has to be doesn't there? Over a thousand years of seeing only pain, it's hard…"  
  
"The warty demon? The one I juggled with?"  
  
He reaches across the table and takes her hands. "There's always hope."  
  
  
  
The starters arrive. Giles must have ordered earlier for all of us. Good choice though. Nice 'n spicy aubergine thing, Dips and pitta. Nice and social. Then the anvil drops on my girl.  
  
  
  
"You slept with Giles? You slept with my watcher? You slept with my watcher, when you were engaged to one of my best friends!"  
  
Oh bugger! Thought it was going too smooth. Mouth shut? Or help 'em out? Bugger! When can I ever keep my mouth shut? Besides owe all of 'em. "Amnesia spell pet. They didn't know, no intent to hurt no-one."  
  
"He's not your watcher anymore," from Anya.  
  
"It really isn't your business Buffy."  
  
"Is to! But you left Giles! And you won't tell me why, for these all big secrety reasons. It's all a lie isn't it? It's 'coz you slept with that That big ho who sleeps with all my men! Going to LA next? Or is it Nepal? Or did you fit him in during the decent from on-high?"  
  
  
  
Giles and I just look at each other. Watcher and vampire we might be. But right now we're just two blokes at the dinner from hell.  
  
  
  
Waiter refreshes the drinks. Must have a death wish to get between a furious slayer and vengeance demon. Even if they've kept to their seats so far.  
  
  
  
"You self-righteous little cow! Just because you were quite ready to jump the bones of the most boring bearer of the Y chromosome in existence, the moment he deigned to return to Sunnydale, don't judge everyone by your own standards! That's my job!"  
  
"You were going to take back that pillock? And you question my right to have a relationship with Anya now we're both free. Or anyone in fact, the whole time I was in Sunnydale!"  
  
"No of course not! He was married! I wasn't happy about you having sex with my Mother! Not on top of a police car! And I didn't mind you being with Jenny…much."  
  
"Rupert I haven't tried a police car…"  
  
"Didn't mind!!! Thank you so much!"  
  
"You wouldn't really have gone back to that tosser would you pet?" The family at the nearest table is looking around, and looking distinctly worried.  
  
"No! And Giles I'm saying things all wrong."  
  
"Buffy. As you have heard. Anya and I didn't do anything deliberately wrong. We thought we were engaged and about to die. Once we got our memories back we didn't want to hurt anyone. So we decided it was best to keep it secret. I was leaving anyway. Not because of Anya. Not because of you. Not because of all the things I will tell you later when you can process things more clearly. All of these things contributed. But if Xander had behaved like a man I would have been happy for her and him. It would have been hard. But I would. He didn't. He continued to hurt and insult her. I don't like that. I don't like you doing it to her. I have never enjoyed you doing it to me. And mentioning Jenny…"  
  
"Giles I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned her. You know I am sorry about her right? I couldn't bear it…" Tears and pout. He's crumbling.  
  
"I will always be your watcher if you want me. You'll certainly always be my slayer. We don't own each other. Neither of us has the right to veto our relationship choices. However, unusual. But we can care about each other very much. But I also care very much for Anya. You hurt me as well as her when you insult her. I don't like seeing you like that, you're better than that. I know you are."  
  
"Sorry Giles. All this stuff just comes out and I don't know from where and I hate it and I just want it to stop!"  
  
He's looking at her and holding her hands now. "It's because you're not well. We're going to fix it, it's what we do. Now say sorry to Anya."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"OK. I know you are all emotionally crippled and dying and things, so this time…ok. But say anything like that after we fix you and we are talking smiting!"  
  
"Hopefully not dear. I would greatly prefer if you two could get on. Can we try?"  
  
"Of course Rupert. I'll try if she will."  
  
"I will". The two girls, who between them could have destroyed the city let alone the restaurant, stood up and hugged. Good to see. Thank god for that. Not fun, for anyone, cathartic hopefully. Un-live in hope anyway.  
  
  
  
The waiter seeing a lull in the conflict brought the main course. Some lamb and herb thing. Tasted nice. Plenty of silence to enjoy it in.  
  
  
  
Watcher boy breaks the silence. Always knew he's a better man than me. But, hey early stages and all that.  
  
If in doubt use the weather, or football. Hot, bloody hot - so not much of a topic of conversation there. And two Englishmen, one of whom supports Chelsea and with the FA Cup tomorrow, well it's a no-brainer. We can even bond over mutual loathing of Arsenal. What is a surprise is that Anyanka joins in, and knows what she's talking about too. Know girl is ancient but still surprises. So I ask why?  
  
"Lots of business over the years from women scorned for sport. Almost as many as I got from women kept in harems. Boy, this place brings those back memories. Disguising myself and granting wish after wish from all those women. Ah…happy days."  
  
"Harem girl outfits?" That was the watcher I point out.  
  
"Oh yes. Mmm…"  
  
"Back to football". Before it all gets out of hand again. Hey, don't mind picturing Anyanka in a harem girl outfit but that way lies pain and possible stakage, from a couple of candidates. "Wishes right? So I got all this pain and no shortage of 'em right?"  
  
Giles and I both get the idea at the same time.  
  
"The World Cup!"  
  
"Even better than Becks foot. 30 years of hurt be dammed. I wish…"  
  
"Sorry that's against the rules."  
  
"There's rules?"  
  
"Oh yes. First couple of days as a vengeance demon is all learning the rules. You know: don't destroy the universe: don't lose your necklace: don't mess with the Guardian; avoid the Council of Watchers; blood larvae are flattering: burlap covers a multitude of eating ice-cream; that sort of thing.  
  
Football and sports games were added a century ago. D'Hoffryn got fed up with different people's wishes to change results just going to and fro. Stopped us from getting on with more fun work. Besides he supports Brazil. No way could I make England win. He even keeps the rule himself. Otherwise Brazil's team in 98…ouch."  
  
"Bugger! So no chance of any Arsenal destruction either?"  
  
"Sorry, no. And lots of people have wished for that over the years."  
  
"Not surprised", from Giles.  
  
  
  
Buffy's face has sort of glazed over during this. So I change topic.  
  
  
  
"Giles you called."  
  
"Yes. About the ritual. We need some items from the bazaar. Some pure wax candles, some perfumed oil, and some white cloth. I won't be able to do it…I have to arrange access to the site, assuming my friend recovers from the shock of Anya's arrival."  
  
"I did say sorry."  
  
"He'll love it once he calms down, it was rather fun wasn't it?"  
  
They giggle, I kid you not. "What sort of oil?"  
  
"That's the difficult bit. It's not set. It will just smell right to supernatural senses. You'll both know it when you smell it on you Buffy. Can you both do that. We need to get this right, so both sets of noses."  
  
  
  
We both nod. So wanna know more so I ask. "Where's the site Watcher?"  
  
  
  
"Has to be a tomb with great symbolic power."  
  
  
  
"The Great Pyramid." 


	17. Dessert and Dissention

The pyramid right? The big one? Numero uno? Really, really big pile of stone, film and documentary feature? He's surprised me.  
  
"Yes. Desperate measures and all that" from the watcher.  
  
Buffy just looks poleaxed. Anyanka is concentrating on some incredibly sweet backlava type stuff brought over for dessert. All I can say on that stuff is I'm bloody lucky fangs don't get cavities or starvation could be an imminent risk.  
  
"So what…we break in?" 'Coz I know who gets volunteered for lock picking/jail duty in this scenario.  
  
"Oh no. I will get the key. It's why we are eating here. The friend I'll be getting it from is at the university. I had to come here after the museum to meet up."  
  
"There's a university?" What did they teach her in that school of hers?  
  
"One of the oldest in the world Buffy" from the Watcher in lecturer mode. Even starts cleaning his glasses. "Most of the texts we have from ancient Greece and Rome, the very cornerstones of our civilisation, survived in the Muslim World while we languished in the dark ages. They later returned from there to the West giving us the Renaissance." I feel an urge to start taking notes, and studying for the test later.  
  
"Watcher's right pet. Medicine, maths, science, poetry, lots of things. Very fashionable too when I was your age. Lord Leighton, The Rhubiyat of Omar Khayam, Burton and the whole Arabian Nights, breath of fresh air it was. Went well with the Pre-Raphaelites and King Arthur too."  
  
"Who are you and what have you done with Spike? Only know one of those."  
  
"You never asked pet, you never asked. Would love to explain. Promise to. Later, when we've got time. Also promise not to get into a compare an Oxford education in the classics against what passes for an education in the States. You'll only get miffed, and probably start hitting me or Giles."  
  
"You hit Rupie, you suffer!" from Anyanka.  
  
"Not hitting anyone! Don't always resort to violence."  
  
  
  
The rest of us just looked at each other. Time to change the subject.  
  
  
  
"Shame more wasn't saved from near here, 'ey Rupert? Great Library of Alexandria an all that."  
  
"The Council emptied it of all the magical, historical and geographical texts under one of the last Ptolomies. They put no value on the literature or philosophy though. Only what they could use, and of course they never shared what was saved with the rest of the world, that needed it. Always been a great regret of mine. So much lost. Plato, Socrates, what a waste."  
  
You really do un-live and learn. Learnt more in the last week or so about so many things and most of all me.  
  
  
  
Buffy makes an effort at conversation. Good to see. "What's with all this stone castley place?"  
  
"The Citadel, built by Salah-el-Din." Back to lecturer mode.  
  
"That's Saladin right? I did do the crusades at school Mr Know-it-Alls!"  
  
"Full Richard the Lionheart an all pet?"  
  
"I knew his mother, oh and his wife!" from the ancient one amongst us. Now this is interesting.  
  
"Didn't know he was married luv." Oops shouldn't have called her that, getting glares from Buffy and Giles. Babble Spike, works for Red. "All the faithful minstrel stories an all that."  
  
"Quite! Berengaria felt that too. Kept leaving her on islands round the Med while he had fun with the boys. Not very imaginative on her wish though. I mean I did so many festering wounds during the Middle Ages. Do you know how boring that got?"  
  
"So you're responsible for Bad King John then Anyanka?" Got that right. Giles is distracted by the historical implications and Buffy is secure in her usual response to Anyanka's stories. She's got the look all ready. Hate to see it on her.  
  
"Oh that was due to his mother too. Eleanor of Aquitaine. One of my favourite clients over the centuries she was. Whatta woman! Dumped the King of France for the King of England, had lovers. Ruled Empires, totally vindictive and imaginative too. We get so few of those," she sighed.  
  
Giles is rubbing through his lenses analysing this one. But asks the question he already knows the answer to. "She asked that all his sons turned against him right?"  
  
"Oh much better. All his sons should turn against him and all his empire should turn to ashes. In one generation loss of most of the English Empire in France, Henry already dead in despair, his legacy ruined. Inspired!"  
  
"Answers whether all your wishes were cancelled when your necklace was broken."  
  
"Rupie don't say the b word, you said…"  
  
"Oh Anya, it's ok. I'm sorry." He hugged her and she let him. I wish…  
  
  
  
Distraction Spike, let 'em look on the light side. Somebody gotta be happy. "So Anyanka here made it possible for us to keep thrashing the French! No Anyanka no Crecy, Poitiers, Agincourt, wouldn't have had all that fun! OK I Know war bad, suffering an all that. But hey, National Sport for centuries."  
  
"Mm, quite right Spike. We'll talk Scottish, German and Irish historical wishes later dear."  
  
"Oh there's some doozies!" from a very perky demon.  
  
  
  
Some Turkish Coffee arrived for Giles, Anyanka and me. Buffy had a coke. We supped up in silence. Giles paid the bill and we headed off to one of the main gates to the Citadel and a cab back to the hotel. Late now in a long day. Only the caffeine keeping us going I think.  
  
  
  
Went past loads of mosques. Like mosques, no pesky holy water, though having to take your shoes off is a bind. Or it was when I was hunting and trying to fit in initially anyway. Docs take a long time to take on and off comfortably. Not gonna be a problem in future.  
  
  
  
Got a cab quick and got back to the hotel and escorted the girls to their room. Both wanna do the gentleman thing. We head next door and take a couple of beers out the mini-bar and discuss the details of the ritual for tomorrow night. She ain't gonna like it. I don't. But Watcher knows what he's talking about.  
  
Least we're talking, me, Giles and Anyanka. Know he wasn't happy about the luv thing. Must try harder, think before opening mouth…story of my life. Least Giles and I are talking. Preternatural hearing you know. Sound of Silence from the girls room. That one is gonna take some time I think. But on the bright side no sounds of them trying to kill each other, so there's hope. As Rupert said there's always hope. 


	18. Perfumes and Pyramids

Good news on waking up, no breakfast by order of Rupert. We all have to fast all day, and have a shower and a hair-wash before heading off to Giza tonight. Gotta be cleansed. Good job I had a bag of blood as well as the beer last night, otherwise it would have cut things a bit tight. They're stressful enough.  
  
Buffy and Anyanka weren't to keen on the no-brekky rule either. Anya immediately started negotiating a discount with the hotel manager, since we wouldn't be having it. Got it too. Woman could eat any merchant banker for metaphorical breakfast and a car salesman as a chaser. Gotta admire that.  
  
Giles and Anyanka finalised the shopping list they insisted we take with us. Honestly a master vampire and they think I can't remember a shopping list! How the mighty hath fallen. Anyanka headed off to a local tailor after noting down all our measurements. Not exactly sure she needed to measure Giles five times, but neither seemed to object too much.  
  
Giles headed over to the Museum and was going to see his friend with the new heart condition later.  
  
That left us with another cab ride to the bazzar.  
  
  
  
We hit the candle shop first. Big, long, thick, pure wax as per the list. Heavy things. Good job she won't be throwing these at me…hopefully, Let Buffy do the bargaining. She had fun doing it yesterday, and anything that'll take her mind off the ritual tonight cannot be bad. She's got quicker at the bargaining game, and they were cheaper than the souvies yesterday so it only took an hour.  
  
  
  
Off past some lovely scented food stalls. Can tell Buffy is starving but she barely seems to notice. Must have got used to it. Wish I'd called Giles in, might have saved a lot of pain. To all of us.  
  
  
  
Walked past stalls selling more leather poufs than anyone in their right mind could possibly imagine. And I've seen plenty of the other sort. Seriously tempted to buy one as a belated hotel warming present. I suggest it. "Pink with gold embossing or powder blue and gold?" She smacks my arm, but not hard and she does giggle. So worth it.  
  
Bought the pink one. Had to be done. Not Good here. Temptation as Oscar put it…I can resist anything but. Besides, cheerleader and the poof's faces should be a picture.  
  
  
  
Managed, with great difficulty to get her to avoid the leather shops. Mostly luggage, purses and handbags anyway, but some jackets and I know my girl and leather. No way would we be out by the next millennium, let alone tonight.  
  
  
  
Made it to the cloth part of the souk. Enough embroidered, sequin covered, brightly clashing coloured cloth to have kept poor Tara in clothes for decades. Manage to convince Buffy she really doesn't want a kaftan even if they are coming back into fashion. Particularly a blue one with sequins. Lived through the seventies once. Never again…punk apart.  
  
We sat down in the cloth shop and have to refuse the mint tea. That's gonna cost us in the bargaining front. It does …one nil down after 60 seconds. Buying 30 yards of white linen took about an hour even with a shopping slayer on top form, and we still paid more than we should have as a penalty for being rude gits in refusing the tea. But I made the bugger cut it down to the right size.  
  
  
  
That left the perfume shop.  
  
  
  
We headed down past the jewellery shops. Good job we already got Nibblet's prezzie as the agony of choice would have been just too much. Jewellery sold by the weight too, so much cheaper than in the States. Things were different I'd love to take her in there and get a pair of rings. Not yet though. But someday, maybe.  
  
  
  
We went into the dark little shop. The large bottles of perfume filled the walls. Reminded me of the old chemists shops you got when I was Buffy's age. Could buy anything in 'em. Opium, cocaine, arsenic all sorts. All legal. Things change.  
  
We take a seat and I tell the shopkeeper we've been ill so can't drink anything and please not to be offended. And that me and my lady would like some perfumed oil for her.  
  
He Salam's and so do I. When in Rome and all that. Explain we don't know what we want but we'll know it when we smell it. He brings over a selection of oils scented to resemble the expensive stuff they spray at you in department stores. You try going to Willie's after that…not fun.  
  
  
  
The perfumes are in big bottles with long glass dippers. I start with the first. Buffy holds out her forearm. In the Giles approved wardrobe choice du jour it's a peasant blouse covering her shoulders and upper arms, but with some cute embroidery.  
  
I touch her only with the glass droppers. One drop of perfume at a time. Two inches of skin with different western perfume copies and we aren't getting anywhere. But she smells bloody fantastic. But then she usually does, Doublemeat Dogburgers not withstanding,  
  
So we hit the classics. Vanilla drops on the crease of her elbow. Not right. Rose on the delicate veins of her tiny right wrist…still nope. Lavender on a faint scar…not even close. Cold glass and gardenias on that sensitive point on her right arm…almost.  
  
Her breathing is speeding up and so's her heart rate. Mine would if it could.  
  
Musks on the right outer arm. I was right that time. Musk is aggravating, more ways than one too, for both of us. But not right. Not for this anyway.  
  
Hot, hot little shop, cold glass and the scent. Rupert Giles you bastard. This is hard. I take another flower oil, trace it on her sunny skin. Mine's getting a bit closer to her shade, but I still look ashen next to her born tan.  
  
The scents of all the different oils is blending together in the heat and her sweat. Not much skin free for more on either arm by now. I try the lily. I drip one drop of oil on the pulse point of her left hand.  
  
  
  
Bingo. The nose has it. She looks at me. We both know. We both know so much.  
  
  
  
I buy a full bottle. As she walks outside I get another smaller bottle. For me, and her…if she'll take it. For later.  
  
  
  
Laden down with the shopping as I am, we head towards the wider streets and the possibility of a cab. I love cabs. I mean I love walking and exploring places I've never, ever been, or places I haven't been for ages. But cabs are truly wonderful. Especially when shopping with your girl.  
  
  
  
We got back to the hotel and I drop the shopping back in Giles and my room. Anyanka had already been there. I could see some white garment things. I could hear her next door in the shower. Nope couldn't hear Rupert. Can't be back yet. We looked at each other. There was a softness in her eyes and a lot of worries about tonight. Must have been too much for her and she bolted into her room. Then I could her yelling to Anya. Wish those two could get on.  
  
Headed into the shower before Rupert could arrive and followed Dad's instructions. Not keen about the no hair products directive though. Like to keep the curls under control. Got teased enough about 'em at boarding school.  
  
  
  
Rupert arrives with a very large, and judging by the sweat and heart rate, very heavy bag. So I do the right thing and help him with it. Going get the hang of this stuff. Can't kill me can it?  
  
He showers and the girls come in to the room all shiny and fresh. He takes out our purchases. We get the look when he comes to the leather pouf. Then I explain who's prezzie it is and both him and Anyanka start giggling again. Like this new Giles. She's definitely good for him. Anyanka's shopping comes out next.  
  
"I'm wearing a skirt?"  
  
"A replica ancient Egyptian kilt Spike. And so am I."  
  
"It's a skirt!"  
  
"Don't be so insecure. Good enough for Mel Gibson."  
  
"Yeah and we both know how bleeding factually correct his films are."  
  
"Quite."  
  
"You read my family history. Grandad's family spent centuries fighting the Scots! Long and magnificent history of border battles!"  
  
"I did. Your mums family were Scots!"  
  
"They escaped! Lost the family estate after 1745! Ended up in the British Army overseas. Besides only a bit!"  
  
"Think of it as a sarong then. Good enough for David Beckam."  
  
"Still think that was one of his dafter looks."  
  
"I prefer the one in the new GQ covered in baby oil." Had to be Anya.  
  
"Allright. I'll do it. But no photos!"  
  
"Thank you Spike. Anya does yours fit?"  
  
"Oh yes Rupie, and so does Buffy's. We checked earlier."  
  
"And I'm still not happy about my outfit Rupie!" From Buffy. Must be what caused the yelling earlier.  
  
"It's that, or go naked Buffy."  
  
"I'm happy, I'm very happy, happy that's this Buffy."  
  
  
  
We pack up and head downstairs and cab it to the pyramids.  
  
  
  
Hadn't really realised how close they were. One minute city next minute really, really big pyramids. Then desert. Miles and miles of dessert. On minute 21st Century the other any time in the last few thousand.  
  
  
  
Buffy's eyes are huge. "They're real. You see shows and films. They're huge! We're really here? Are we really here?  
  
"Yes pet. We're really here. And we're gonna get you well."  
  
Three giants. Two almost the same size. The slightly smaller one keeping some of its' smooth casing stones. The larger having been long ago stripped and now looking like a giant stone staircase to the heavens. The smallest with a gaping gash where a long ago ruler must have tried to destroy what he couldn't live up to. Small pyramids, more ruinous in front of the giants. And the Sphinx. Guarding the pyramids and their secrets.  
  
  
  
We all spent a couple of hours looking around. Though couldn't go in any of the pyramids, don't want anything to go wrong tonight. Still having problems believing I'm here. Doing this, and doing it in the sun. But wouldn't change it.  
  
  
  
It was almost dark by now and since we can't drink anything or go into the pyramid until much later, Giles paid and we headed off to the Sun et Lumiere show. Cheesy but Buffy was blown away and when the voice came from the Sphinx even I was impressed. When it finished we avoided the tourists in the dark and waited near the Great Pyramid. 


	19. Ritual

Intense Ritual Ahead Warning. Thanks for the reviews, they are greatly appreciated.  
  
**************************************************************************** ******  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"We will have to be discreet about being seen entering. Low profile everyone."  
  
"Why Giles?" asked Buffy.  
  
"Oh what with the terrorist risk…increased security, new-agers looking for secret chambers that sort of thing."  
  
"So are there any secret chambers? Inquiring vampires want to know?"  
  
"Oh yes. Council emptied them at the time of Alexander though."  
  
"Mmpff! Unlive and learn!"  
  
"So can't put the lights on, hence the torches. Once we start the ritual we must only use the candles."  
  
  
  
Giles took the key and opened the pyramid. We went inside and switched on the torches. At first the narrow tunnel went downwards. The passage was low, and both Giles and me were crouched right over. Even Buffy was hunched over slightly, but was looking distinctly smug at Giles and my obvious discomfort.  
  
"At last I find the one advantage in life of being short!"  
  
We both glared.  
  
"You still fall into freezer cabinets at the supermarket!" Couldn't help myself on that one. Honest you should have seen her face when she clambered out.  
  
Anyanka was better off than Giles or me, but being a bit taller than Buffy was still suffering. Ok most people outside the 7 dwarfs are taller than Buffy. So I ask. "Anyanka why aren't you just zapping yourself to the chamber? Surprised your putting up with the crab-walk from hell?"  
  
"Wish I could. My neck hurts. It's impossible here though. It's still warded."  
  
After about 65 feet we moved into an upwards passage, easier on the knees but still not that much over 4 feet in height. Carrying big heavy bags, as Giles and I were, it hurt. The things we do for love. This torment went on for over 130 feet before we were able to stand up straight. We had got to the Grand Gallery. It was narrow and as it was a corbelled roof it only got narrower. With only the lights from the torches it was well eerie.  
  
  
  
"OK, at this stage we go to the Queen's Chamber, so it's the smaller straight passage" from the Watcher. So we all headed there. The sheer weight of the stone overhead and the flickering of the lights felt oppressive, and the silence just made it all feel worse.  
  
  
  
Giles and Anyanka took out 4 of the candles. Thick heavy candles that are going to last. The perfumed oil was next. She then took out the white cloth. It had been cut into strips about 6 inches wide. Buffy was starting to breathe faster and look petrified. This is not gonna be fun.  
  
Anyanka and Giles set up candles at each cardinal point of the room, and then placed a small statue of Osiris in the niche in the wall.  
  
  
  
"Spike, time for Anya to help Buffy change. Come on, sooner we get this done…Besides we have more supplies to take into the Kings Chamber."  
  
Giles and I just look at each other. It's no easier on him than on me, but we gotta be strong, for her. Her heart rate is scaring the demon right out of me. Gotta do something. I gently rest my hands on her shoulders and look her straight in the eyes. "It's gonna be ok luv, you know that, don't you?"  
  
She nodded, eyes brimming, but with no tears falling. Giles patted her awkwardly on the back. He's getting better at combining being Giles and public displays of affection, but it's still hard for him. So we left the girls to it and retired to the Grand Gallery with the other bag.  
  
  
  
On entering the Kings Chamber, despite the dim light, the open granite sarcophagus dominated the room. I'm scared, don't mind confessing it, and I sleep on the things sometimes. Just don't like the mojo. Giles is looking scared too, in an "I'm English and a Watcher so nobody is gonna know I'm petrified this isn't gonna work, and we're gonna summon some ancient deity that's gonna tear us a new one for waking 'em up" sort of a way.  
  
So we both do the national stereotype bit and suck it up and get things done. Hey, its' worked for centuries, why stop now? More candles at the cardinal points. A small statue of Horus placed by the east wall.  
  
  
  
"Now we change too."  
  
"The short white sarong things?"  
  
"Yep but not in this room. Back down to where we entered the Grand Gallery."  
  
So we hacked back down the slope and got changed. The girls clothes were already there, in neat piles. Must have been placed there by Anyanka, the scent of fear on Buffy's wouldn't make for that level of neatness.  
  
We look at each other, nod and walk back into the Queen's Chamber. Anyanka was in a longer version of the white sarong me and Giles were sporting. Buffy was in a white bikini, and was staring to shiver despite the heat that's built up in here during the day. Giles gave Anyanka an Isis mask, handed an Anubis one to me and took the Osiris one for himself. We put them on and Giles lit the candles and switched off the torches.  
  
  
  
"Isis, Mistress of the Pyramid anoint the dead!" Intoned the Osiris Watcher.  
  
She took the perfumed oil, we'd bought in the little perfume shop, and started to rub it all over Buffy. I never get the fun jobs.  
  
"Annubis, Master of the Embalmers shroud the dead".  
  
I take the fabric strips and start to wind them around Buffy's limbs. I start at each foot and move upwards, then the hands and arms, each limb separate as per earlier, exhaustive instructions from Giles. Buffy's heart rate is really worrying me, but I know I gotta do it, or she'll die. I wind the strips round her far too thin torso, stopping before the heart.  
  
"Isis place the Heart Scarab, seat of Maat." Anyanka placed a big stone scarab over her heart and then I bound it in. Then I bound her arms across her chest in the traditional pose, and moved on to her head. This had to be loose so she could breathe, but also had to cover her completely. I finished, my hands shaking.  
  
"Osiris the Conqueror of Death, we take your child Buffy to the devourer."  
  
  
  
Anyanka lit a single candle and carrying it moved out of the chamber.  
  
  
  
Giles and I carried the shrouded figure of Buffy right behind her and we processed in silence up the Grand Gallery to the Kings Chamber. Anyanka lit the candles in there.  
  
  
  
"Behold the devourer! The route to re-birth!" said Scary Giles to the empty sarcophagus. We placed her in the tomb. This has got to be hard on her. Thank god there is no lid. Not sure I could do this within a year of climbing out of my own grave.  
  
"Osiris behold your child! Make her whole! Behold your beloved Isis, Mother of Mysteries. Behold your Dark Son Annubis. Return to us the Horus Buffy. Justified no longer but alive and complete!"  
  
He took the small wooden statue, which had given Buffy the warm woozy feeling in the museum, and placed it directly over her heart.  
  
"Osiris return to the Horus Buffy the ba! Horus behold thy Mother Isis, thy Father Osiris! Look on thy Sister the Horus Buffy. Intercede with thy Father and thy Mother! Osiris Lord of the Dead! Make her whole! Restore her! No longer split between the living and the dead! Restore the ba!"  
  
  
  
The candles all flamed straight up, a warm wind brushed past me and the little statue glowed. It might have been the flickering candlelight but I'm sure the little human headed bird on the little statue nodded.  
  
  
  
Buffy let out a scream.  
  
  
  
  
  
Notes:The Egyptian dead were referred to as "justified" and "The Horus" hence the use in the ritual. The ritual is based on Egyptian mythology, but is made up so don't try it at home. 


	20. Restoration

She sat straight up in the sarcophagus, like a character in a Hammer Film, but much more slender. Giles bowed before the statue of Horus and thanked the divine family, father, mother and son, before extinguishing the candles. This pitched us all into almost complete darkness, only dim flickers echoing up from the Queen's Chamber.  
  
We all breathed again, even me.  
  
My night-vision still works fine, so I retrieved the torch so we could all see, and lit it. Giles and Anyanka had already taken their masks off, and I followed suit. Horrible confining things, but if it's worked I'll kiss every heavy inch. I looked at Giles, and he looked like he had just run a marathon and followed it up by swimming the Channel, but he nodded. Think we did it. Didn't realise I had so much air in my lungs, but I seemed to sigh in relief forever.  
  
  
  
Buffy was breathing hard, but not screaming anymore. I started to free her face from the sticky cloth. Not an easy job, the oily cloth was sticking together very well. Gonna take time to free her from all this. First of all though I lifted her out of the sarcophagus. Hated putting her in it. No way was she staying in there any longer than necessary. Much easier to free her of the bindings out of it too.  
  
The ever practical Anyanka lit some of the candles again so we could all see more easily, but not until she had put the statue of Horus away. Good to see people who know how to do magic properly, without the stink beetle factor coming into play. These two don't seem to have any cookie baking imminent in their futures.  
  
Anyanka put the masks, and the Horus statue into one of the bags. Then she put a hand on Giles shoulder, looked into his eyes and wordlessly checked he was ok. He gave her a rueful half smile and nodded, and she smiled. She took the bag and left the chamber, presumably to put the statue away down in the Queen's Chamber.  
  
  
  
I'd freed Buffy's head by now and was working to un-bind her arms from the crossed position across her chest. Giles came over to help. He took off the Heart Scarab and checked it, looked Buffy in the eyes and gave her a pat on the arm and a smile.  
  
"Everything went as planned. The Scarab confirms you are now in a state of Maat, the ba bird affirmed your restoration and I felt the agreement of Osiris. You should be restored Buffy. How do you feel my dear?" Giles said with concern.  
  
"I feel Giles. It's been so long, but I do feel. I feel warm. I've felt so cold for so long. Moments of warmth." At this I'd blush if I could. "But no matter what I did the warmth never lasted, the ice just froze me. Each time worse and worse. I tried, I did try you know?" She started crying. "Dawn, my friends, you Giles, I did try, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't feel anything, nothing warm, nothing real, nothing good. And I did such horrible things! Now it's all coming back. Oh God it's all coming back! All at once!" She was in floods of tears by now. The tears were making tracks through the oil on her cheeks.  
  
I'd freed her arms of the bandages, and she put them around Giles neck and carried on crying. I pushed down the jealousy at that. I really wish it were me, god knows I do, but Giles can give her something uncomplicated, something she needs right now. So I do what I can to help. I start unwinding her foot.  
  
Giles is holding her, patting her back, telling her it's all gonna be ok. That she's gonna be well now, that everyone still loves her, and will understand. It's working and she's calming down. Not stopping crying but slowing down at least, and her heart rate is slowing to a level closer to normal.  
  
Giles pulls back, looks at her and asks if she's feeling better and she nods with a brave attempt at a small smile. He took the small mummy statue with the two birds from her lap. It's all sticky from the perfumed oil. We're all sticky. Anyanka from anointing Buffy, Giles from holding her, me from freeing her from the bindings.  
  
"Buffy, I have to clean the statue and the scarab. I have to take it back tomorrow and the towels are in the other bag. Will you be ok?" Ok now I'm terrified. No barriers, no buffers, and nothing to stop "the talk".  
  
She surprises me, not for the first time. She nodded and made an attempt at a smile. "Go Giles, clean them up. And thanks, for, for everything. You always come through don't you. More props than with Amy's mom this time, though huh? Say thanks to Anya. I've not been good to her, it'll take time, but hopefully…Go clean, I'll be fine, honest."  
  
He left taking the two artefacts. She turned to look at me. Oh hell.  
  
I moved to give her some space. Got one leg up to her knee free now.  
  
Kneeling facing her "Pet, I got your arms free, if you wanna do this yourself, all the space you need, up to you, no pressure whatever." There's tears falling down my cheeks now. She's looking at me with compassion. That makes it worse. I think its dehydration time for both of us by the time this is all over.  
  
"Spike. Spike, Spike." And she reached out with her sticky hand and touched my hair so lightly. Tears continued to leak from her eyes. My own tears got faster.  
  
"I did so many dreadful things to you."  
  
"I did so many bad things to you, pet."  
  
"Your beautiful face!"  
  
"I went nuts."  
  
"I couldn't see anything but my own pain"  
  
"I was blinded by the pain."  
  
"I hurt you so much."  
  
"I never wanted to hurt you."  
  
"I couldn't hear you, couldn't see you, nothing connected in me."  
  
"I couldn't hear you, I was blind, deaf, luv I'm so sorry,"  
  
"I forgot what I said about your feelings being real, about you being real, coz if that was real then what I couldn't feel about anything was real. And Spike it felt so bad!"  
  
"I should have helped more. Got the watcher back to fix things before everything went to hell."  
  
"I never let you. I can feel now. It's different now. I feel and the feelings aren't fading away. It hurts, but it's a good hurt now." She's still lightly stroking my hair, and her tears are blending with mine as they pool on the stone floor of the chamber.  
  
She looks me in the eyes. I could drown in those eyes. No already have. "Spike, you scared me. I scared me about what I did to you in that alley and how I just left you there."  
  
"You know I forgave you that luv. Forgive you anything. Don't deserve you, know that." My head dropped. But she surprised me. She raised my head and made me look her in the eyes.  
  
"I told Dawn we had a misunderstanding. But you scared me Spike. I, I never thought you had that in you."  
  
"Neither did I. Never done anything like it before. Not me, killed people sure, never played with my food. Didn't have anything to stop it, but just not me you know, you do know that, don't you pet." She actually nodded. I could die happy.  
  
"It's been hard the last few years. You don't know what its like. Always said "Evil". Was. Not anymore. Can feel the difference now. Before, it was always an itch in every fibre of me to hurt, to rend, to feed. Gotta brain, could fight it, did, most of the time, helped the scoobies over the summer, loved you, loved Nibblet. But always had to fight myself to do it.  
  
Not sure how all this soul, moral compass thing works, not my thing at all. Know I'm different now. Feel calmer, at peace with me, you know. Nothing pushing me to do dumb, "evil" things. Not anymore. Shaman knows his stuff. Had something in me pushing to hurt you despite everything I wanted in my head and heart. That's gone now. Been re-tuned. Won't ever hurt you. Still can't believe I did. Don't have to forgive me. Can't forgive me."  
  
"I can. I have. You were totally out of order but I can forgive you, If you can forgive me for the dreadful things I did to you, and the horrible things I said?"  
  
"Always."  
  
"Then I forgive you. Friends? I miss that."  
  
"Always. I missed it so much."  
  
"So tell me about what the shaman did, and help me with these bandages before I solidify!"  
  
So I did. Everything. The vision, the roots of both of us. The lake. Being prey, being torn apart, taken as a trophy. The mourners and my mum, their grief. My victims and their lost lives. And the ultimate horror, the slayers and their deaths.  
  
Her eyes have grown even larger in the telling. They're warm now, and the tears are in compassion, her hands stroking my hair. Very quietly she said "All of them?"  
  
"All my victims, all their loved ones, all the slayers, all the pain. But the worst was you pet. Both your deaths, felt both of 'em, second one was different to all the rest, maybe the shaman can tell us why. Don't know. But even when you touched death, when the poof drained you, even felt that. Never thought I had so many tears in me as when you died at the tower. By the lake I thought I'd die I shed so many." She held me. I don't deserve it, but she did. Couldn't help it, but the tears just wouldn't stop falling.  
  
We must have sat like that for only a few minutes. Felt like a lifetime.  
  
She wiped the tears from my face and looked at me. "I'm me again now. I wouldn't be if it wasn't for you, Giles and Anyanka. I don't want to dive back into anything. I need time to get back to being me.  
  
"Course luv, anything you want, you get."  
  
She smiled."But we can be friends, and we'll see how we deal with that. OK?"  
  
"More than I deserve pet."  
  
Another half smile. "On balance, no, you do deserve it. We both start from a clean slate, but with no amnesia this time, and definitely no horrible suits. Brown is so not your colour! Come on, help me with these before dawn comes up and we get arrested for breaking into famous monuments." So I did.  
  
  
  
We finished and she went down to the Queen's chamber to change.  
  
Giles came up to me to clear up, and put all the sticky cloth into some plastic bags. He brought our ordinary clothes up too and we changed. Though first he got out the towels and baby wipes Anyanka had stashed in the bags. Gotta love a practical demon.  
  
After checking both chambers looked untouched we went to the end of the Grand Gallery. We bent over down the long passage, and retraced our steps out of the pyramid. Carrying the heavy bags, and emotionally drained as I think we all were it seemed to take forever. But we got to the door eventually.  
  
We switched off the torches so as not to be noticed outside and stepped out of the tomb into the night. We all climbed down to the dessert floor and just breathed in the fresh air, even me.  
  
  
  
Anyanka and Giles sat down heavily on the first layer of stones. Hand in hand they just leaned into each other and rested, looking up at the bright stars. Just being together and taking strength from that. Not sure whether that was all his magic, or whether they also accessed hers and mine. Think it was just his, certainly looking wiped out at the moment. Watcher certainly is more powerful than he ever gave out.  
  
Buffy looked at me. I looked at Buffy. We both looked at Giles and Anyanka taking a much needed rest. We both looked up at the pyramid. Stripped of its casing stones it resembled nothing more than a great stairway to the heavens. Always loved Stairway to Heaven, top song that.  
  
"Race you, re-tuned guy" from Buffy.  
  
And she started clambering back up the pyramid. Now there's no way I can resist that, is there? I start climbing up the stones. She's slightly further over and having to take a different route to the top than me. She's faster and stronger than me. But I'm taller and some of the stones are taller than she is, so she has to use her hands to climb a lot more than I have to.  
  
Pyramid must be about 40 stories high and even with both of us supernaturally fast and strong this isn't a quick race. More of a 5000 meters race than the 100. Ears are still preternatural too. I can hear Giles shouting "Just what part of "low profile" do you two both not understand?" somewhere down below. Buffy can too, can hear the giggle.  
  
We get to the top at the same time. She's laughing and smiling up at me, if slightly out of breath. I swing her up in my arms and we spin around on top. It's a narrow space but it really does feel on top of the world. She's smiling up at me, and that's what I've wanted to see for so long. I said once to Princess I'd dance with her on the slayers grave. This is just so much better! 


	21. Choices

Of course it's a dam sight easier climbing up a pyramid than climbing down one. By the time we scrambled down to the desert floor and Giles the sun was beginning to rise over the horizon. Looked bloody amazing actually, what with the sphinx greeting the dawn, like it had for aeons. We both went over to where Giles and Anyanka were sitting, and were both recipients of the full Giles glare.  
  
"Umm, sorry Giles" from me.  
  
Head down, followed by head lifting up and the big eyes and pout from Buffy, "Mm, sorry Giles, just couldn't resist". Of course he caved.  
  
"Well, ok, recovery and all. Now if we could all go before we get arrested, for illegal entry to national monuments and illicit possession of national treasures, it would be helpful!" At which Giles threw one heavy bag at me for sherpa duty and paced off, Anyanka in tow.  
  
Ok mouth shut, do as told. Can do this. Really I can do this. Bloody hard though. Looked at Buffy, who was stifling a giggling fit, made it even harder. Can feel one of my own coming on. Concentrate Spike, look at Dad and Step-Mum, be the good boy. Did it once, can't be too hard. Ok it was over 120 years ago but, hey, re-tuned now so should be easier. Nope still wanna burst out laughing. Fail miserably and start laughing. Giles turns. Throws the other bag at me. Better stop before I'm carrying half the Giza Plateau back to the hotel. Doesn't help that Anyanka is laughing too now, Buffy is in a full on giggle-fest, and Giles mouth is definitely cracking upwards at the corners.  
  
  
  
Luckily, since it was light by now, an early taxi driver was down by the entrance to the site. He agreed for the usual fare plus some baksheesh to take four still slightly sticky, and somewhat sandy, people back to the hotel. Must be a good market in mad westerners leaving the site at dawn.  
  
  
  
One breakneck drive later we are back in the land of clean clothes and most importantly showers. No porters being allowed to touch the bags I had sherpa duty back to the room, and we all filed into Giles and my room. At which everyone just slumped. Adrenaline and ritual energy gets you so far and then whump, time to crash…big time.  
  
  
  
"God Giles, Anya, Spike that was just wow. Thank you all. I know I wanna say more, but I'm starving, I wanna call Dawn and let her know I'm gonna be well, I have so got to have a shower, but right now just wanna sleep, for about a month." From a crashed out Buffy, slumped on one of the chairs.  
  
Giles patted her arm. "Time zones, call her later. We can order some early room service breakfast, after all that, and the fasting, I think we all need something." Too bloody right, so I went to the mini bar and got the last bag out.  
  
He continued "If we shower first we can order some food, and you lot can get a little sleep. But I have to get these artefacts back to the museum as soon as it opens. And I have to clean them first." Poor sod looked bone weary at that. Wish I could help but I don't know anything about archaeological object cleaning. I wish…God! Sometimes I can be as thick as Harris. Nope, not the case. "Anyanka, I wish that the artefacts we used in the ritual tonight be clean and ready to return to the museum."  
  
She smiled, turned veiny and said "Wish Granted". Et voila clean artefacts. Also got a grateful and surprised smile from Giles and Buffy. Can definitely get to like this.  
  
Giles ordered us all some breakfast and the girls headed next door to shower and change. While he did the order I called dibbs on the shower. Efficient time management an all. Good to get clean.  
  
The water pounded down cleaning the remaining oil, sand and dust off me and out of my hair. I leant forward my hands against the tiles. So much gone on, so many changes, such loss, some hope, when I thought there wasn't any, just too much to take in. So tired, all these things going through my head, so much in so little time. Hard to cope, so I just leant my head against the tiles and let the water wash over me.  
  
  
  
Until I heard yelling through the door. "My turn you git! Stop shower hogging!"  
  
So I got out, dried off, put on the towelling robe and threw my gungy clothes into a wash bag for room service, and padded out to let Giles shower. Luckily human brekky had arrived, and looks like Giles ordered me some too. Gotta love him really. So I scoffed, dressed, and crashed out. Didn't even hear him come out of the shower.  
  
  
  
Zonked out until the phone went off. Alarm call for Giles, who looked as tired as the rest of us, poor sod. But museum returning reminded me of what happened to Buffy in there and so I asked, "Watcher. I left a note on Buffy fainting in the museum. What was all that about. Notice the little bird statue's here."  
  
"You are right about the bird. It was the most important part of the ritual, so that explains why it affected Buffy. You said the other trigger was the deathmask of Tutankhamun right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Has that effect on a lot of those sensitive to the supernatural. You might have noticed the face is different on the three coffins." Hadn't really, but nod anyway, don't wanna fail the seminar. "Much of the funeral equipment of Tutankhamun was re-used from his brother Smenkare, and even his father the Heretic Akenaten. Both were anathema to the priests of Amun. They cursed them both. Some of that curse carried over in some of the artefacts."  
  
"So the curse story is correct then?"  
  
"Partially. Only some of the treasure and only to the sensitive, and its weak by now. Cost us some watchers to get it that way, but it's not dangerous anymore. Now lecture over, I have to go to the museum. Send the clothes down to room service and I'll see you later."  
  
  
  
At which we were interrupted by a knock on the door. It was an immaculate Anyanka. "Rupie, I have to go, I have a job come up. I shouldn't be long, simple job…guy three timing the girl supporting him. Buffy is still asleep." She kissed him, opened a portal, and went poof.  
  
"Dear! You singed the carpet!" Sighed Rupert. "Well more to add to the bill. Have to go. See you later. Got the blasted phone contraption with me."  
  
He left. Sorted both our laundry. Re-entered the land of nod.  
  
  
  
Woke up again about 2 in the afternoon, as Giles came back in, accompanied by a much more perky Buffy. She was talking to Giles. "So I called Dawn, and let her know I'm gonna be fine."  
  
"How's the bit pet?" Glad I've been wearing sweats sharing a room with the watcher an all. Bit awkward otherwise, well more so.  
  
"She's ok. Still trying to get through the whole Tara dying, and Willow going all Darth Vader on us. She said she had a nice dinner with Clem and Sophie, and they send you hugs." Been lucky with them both, good mates are hard to find, especially for chipped vampires.  
  
She continued "I think the whole mostly silent Xander is freaking her out some, but she's coping. She sends you both a big hug and wants to see you both again asap." We both did the embarrassed Englishmen routine, fortunately for me sans blush. "So I've eaten, slept, showered, been mummified. So tell me, what's the big secret, and how soon do I see my sister?"  
  
Now that was sneaky! I'm impressed.  
  
So exposition guy had to do his stuff. Plots to destroy all non-human sentients, except maybe the dolphins of SeaWorld. Good demons, the assimilated, half-demons, those attuned to the supernatural, and her. Bad eggs in the Council of Watchers allied to the tossers behind The Initiative. Whole nine yards.  
  
After automatically assuming Quentin Travers was behind it and a truly inspired five minute rant on what exactly should happen to the aforesaid Quentin Travers, she seemed almost let down that Wesley's unseen daddy was chief council bad guy.  
  
Then there was a poof of smoke, some more carpet damage, and a happy looking Anyanka arrived in the room. "One excel spread sheet designer who will now sneeze every time he changes cells. So all yours Rupie," and she sat on the bed beside him, Girl makes a good entrance, and asks, "what's up Rupert?" Repeats exposition, does not pass go, does not collect 200 pounds.  
  
During the repeat Buffy goes "eep". I can see the cogs working, and by the time Giles has finished the explanation to Anyanka she's ready to contribute.  
  
"Giles, you said the guys behind The Initiative are the bad guys. So if demon hunters with un-naturally perfect wives come to Sunnydale to hunt a demon that's almost extinct yet breeds exponentially something might just be wrong?"  
  
"Duh!" from me.  
  
"Look at the lack of logic Buffy. Of course something is wrong with that scenario." From a Giles able to see the woods for the trees.  
  
"And if said demon hunter was off to Nepal that might be a bad thing. Even if said un-naturally perfect wife didn't fall off the helicopter line?"  
  
"Nepal! Oh bugger! Shambala! The bastards are going after Shambala!" At which Giles went into a long swearing session in more languages than I know, and that is 37.  
  
Buffy went blank at the mention of Shambala. Anyanka decides to enlighten her, which is fortunate 'coz I don't know what it is, and why Giles is so riled up.  
  
"Shamala, also known as Shangri-La. They made a film about the myth. Looked pretty, got most things wrong. But humans do that. In reality it's the home of the re-incarnated Tibetan Buddhist lamas who guard some of the eternal truths. Warded against the un-enlightened from perceiving it. Entrances vary. Mainly in Tibet, but there are also routes to it from Nepal. I've never been there. It's one of the things we are told to avoid, like The Guardian."  
  
At which Giles stopped swearing and said "The Guardian. Bugger! We have to take you to Tanzania for that epiphany he said you need. But Nepal is due for the monsoon soon. God, which one first? Tanzania or Nepal?" 


	22. Decisions, Decisions

"Rupie, don't forget the rules. Don't mess with the Guardian! He might hurt you, and then I'd be all sad and everything."  
  
"Not a bloke to let down mate". Not keen for her to go through anything like I did. But if that bloke thinks it's necessary, after what he did for me, we go back to Tanzania.  
  
"Giles, what's the damage with the whole monsoon thing?" from Buffy.  
  
"Rain so hard you'd be drier in a swimming pool, that lasts for weeks. We'll have to do some trekking to get to Shambala, as it's warded against portals or apparating. Rain plus trekking equals leeches. Lots of leeches."  
  
"Ewwwwwwww. Hey, I saw them on your Blackadder tapes. They are mini-vamps right. I could stake 'em!" Really shouldn't have got those tapes out when I was staying with Rupert. Anya's stories about the creative uses of leeches and wishes did not make for a happy pizza session. Even the Whelp only ate half of his.  
  
"For future reference Buffy. Not staking, no pulling them off either. The heads stay in the skin, and cause infections.  
  
"Ewwwwwwwwwww." Do wish Californians had a wider range of words expressing disgust. I mean proper English has shed-loads. Eww does get a tad monotonous.  
  
"Use a lighter, a lit cigarette or salt. All of which don't go well with the monsoon. Poor Ethan, I remember…" All of us were looking at him waiting for more Ripper tales, when he realised he was incriminating himself. So deftly changing subjects Watcher-Boy continued. "Samuel works fast. Shouldn't take long. Nepal might take much longer, and if Samuel thinks it's necessary it is. So, off to Tanzania it is then. If everyone could pack and be back in half an hour. Anya dear would you mind opening a portal?"  
  
"Of course not Rupie. We can go and look at the nice animals while The Guardian torments her. It'll be romantic!" At which he looked somewhat taken aback. But being Rupert he gathered himself together, kissed her forehead, and soothed Buffy, who'd looked scared again.  
  
"Buffy, just an epiphany. No torments. Just healing and what you need, if not always what we want."  
  
"Ok," she said in a small voice.  
  
  
  
The girls went off to pack, while Rupert went downstairs to pay the bill. If it was up to me, we'd have played Aussie Rules and just done a runner. Might be re-tuned, but it'd be fun. Guess this new me is a bit of a work in progress. Course doing a runner is still better than eating the desk clerk as a checkout procedure.  
  
Half an hour later I'm carrying the bags out to the alley. Guess Rupert doesn't wanna risk a fire from more singed carpet. Think Anyanka has been buying stuff as well as me and Buffy, coz these bags are definitely heavier.  
  
  
  
One portal later we are back in the Shaman's village. Same timezone, or near enough as makes no difference. So still sunny and bloody hot. Still feels strange not to have to duck for cover, but to have the sun touch my skin.  
  
  
  
Buffy starts hyperventilating. "Giles, Spike, Anya, I don't think I can do it. I'm not ready!"  
  
Giles looks at her, pats her arm, and says "It'll be ok. I won't let anyone hurt you. You'll be fine, better than you are now." I'd give her a pat too, but my arms are already full with enough shopping to keep Imelda Marcos out of mischief.  
  
"It's not that Giles. I trust you. I trust all three of you." That's brought tears to my eyes, and through the tears I can see it's had the same effect on Giles. Anyanka is looking a bit puzzled. Think this Buffy is a bit of an abrupt change for her, after the way those two have butted heads in recent years.  
  
Buffy continued. "It's not any epiphany. Not scared of that. You think I need it. Hey, you saved my life all of you, not for the first time either. You say I need it I do it. It's…it's Willow. She's here right? Not sure I'm up to that…not right now. Still love her. She's my best friend. But, I saw her skin someone alive! She tried to end the World! She tried to kill me, and my sister. How do I deal with that?"  
  
My turn I guess. I put the bags down, dirt be dammed. Put my hands on her shoulders and looked her in those big eyes. "Buffy, I know this is hard. It's gonna be hard for her too. She's done some unforgivable things. That's bloody hard to live with, know that one. But so did I. You found it in your heart to forgive me. And I thank every deity that may or may not be out there that you did. Most of all I thank you."  
  
She was getting it. I could see that in her eyes. She reached up a hand and rested it on mine, and gave me a half smile. I'm a lucky sod. Know that. But I had to continue, before I lose my nerve. For her sake, for mine, and most of all for Red. God knows I'm in no position to throw the first stone. "Maybe you can do it again, for her. Only when, and if, you are ready, luv. No pressure, no hurry. But when you are ready we'll be there for you. Besides that was top quality mojo. Red might still be out for the count, might not be able to see her. Might be crashed out in a hut somewhere. Anyway, don't need to face her 'til you want to, make sure of that one."  
  
"She patted my hand. "Thanks, maybe later. Bear it in mind. Like the new improved Spike, he's a nice guy." Ok now I'm choking up.  
  
Giles cleared his throat. "Not until you are ready and if you want to Buffy. If you all want to go into the bar I'll go and see Samuel, and work out the arrangements."  
  
  
  
So I picked up the bags and escorted the ladies into the noisy bar. Anyanka took it in her stride of course. Probably a nice feeling for her to go somewhere with sensible drinking laws. Girl's been around since an era when babies drank beer, must have been hell to end up in a place where you have to be 21 to drink.  
  
Buffy is back in full-on culture shock mode. There may be some risk of catatonia. The place is the anti-Bronze in so many ways. It's a metal roofed big room, with a concrete floor, a noisy generator powering the beer stocked fridge and the loud local music. Everyone here is local and they're all looking at the return of the prodigal, and the two western girls. At least no Red, so that's on the back burner. So I seat the girls at a rough wooden table and head to the bar. Beer is a truly wonderful thing, and it's safer than the water, so I got us all one.  
  
We were just finishing them when Giles returned. He got swallowed up in the crowd of his mates glad to see him return. After lots of back slapping and friendly ribbing in Swahili he got to our table. "Where's mine, you tosser?"  
  
"Would have got warm Giles. Can't have that!" Well it's true!  
  
"You're buying the next round! Ok, here it is. Spike, you take Buffy to the Shaman. You know where it is. Anya and I will take the bags to the guest hut, as I know where it is. We will set up and meet you back here. Don't worry. Willow isn't at the guest hut or the Shaman's. She is out still, and will be for some time. But she is fine. I looked in on her."  
  
Buffy visibly breathed easier at that. But still looked nervous at going to see the Shaman right now. "S'ok pet. Gonna be fine. Come on. Sooner it's done, sooner it's over." She nodded and stood up.  
  
"See you later Giles." I opened the door for Buffy, and we walked on up the track. Both having too much to think about to talk right now. Only a few days since this was me. Now it's her, and she's gotta be nervous. I am, for her. But got confidence in this bloke. Knows his stuff. Gonna be all right. 


	23. Ripper's Story

One of the hardest things I've ever done that was. Leaving her there. But sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and do it. So I did. Left her with the Shaman and walked slowly back to the bar and, hopefully, company. Don't feel like being alone right now. Been alone too long. Even with Dru.  
  
It had been raining here while I'd had been away. The grass was lush, the clay was sticky against my boots and it was bloody humid. But the sheer life force in the crater was still here. Appropriate really, gave me a re- birth in every way that matters, now hopefully it'll do it for her.  
  
  
  
Got back to the bar, got a beer and slumped down at a table. Tried to focus on just about anything than what was going on in the Shaman's hut. Surgical removal of the beer label…nope…too easy. The whole chatting to the locals thing. World Cup, England, Cameroon, Nigeria, Becks foot…check could manage that. Nope heart just wouldn't be in it. Not sure I'm glad or not that Giles and Anyanka aren't back yet. Not sure I'm up to making conversation at all. But it's certainly taking 'em a while to come back. Unless the hut is somewhere back in Arusha. Settled for contemplating the music. Always been able to lose myself in the music. Been able to since the twenties and I've lost myself in some of the best over the years.  
  
Half the bottle and some good music later a rather rumpled Giles and Anyanka re-entered the bar. Nice to see some people having fun. But we all cope with stress in different ways. Know some of mine haven't always been that smart. But getting better at it. Even slowing down the boozing it up. Would have done a few less dumb things if I'd done it before. Know that, not stupid, just never had anything not pushing me towards the next bottle of magic fluid before. At least I still don't have to worry about the ol' liver. So brightside, conversation Spike, can do it if I try real hard.  
  
"Watcher, Anyanka, got us some nice comfy beds then?" He blushed. She just nodded. Now old me would have got a few more digs in. This one just gets the promised next round of beers in. I'll get there.  
  
"Spike, if you want to get some rest, I'll show you where the hut is" from a Giles who was looking at me with some understanding and compassion.  
  
Half smile, half grimace from me. "Thanks, but couldn't sleep. Gotta be here, gotta be here if she needs me, gotta do it, no question."  
  
"Know the feeling. Never easy to wait while those you care about suffer." As Giles said that Anyanka gripped his hand, and smiled at him. He smiled at her and continued "but usually it's worth it."  
  
"How long was I out? Think it'll be the same? In two stages like me?" A bloke would like some answers after all.  
  
"Yours was different from mine. Hers will be different again. Each according to their ability and their needs, and all that."  
  
Well pegged his politics right anyway. But curiosity cat an all that rot. Have to know more about his epiphany. Take my mind off things. "So tell us Watcher. Inquiring demons wanna know?"  
  
"Oh yes Rupie, Do, please?" Anyanka was positively bouncing in her seat in anticipation, like a big kid wanting a story.  
  
  
  
I was surprised, he acquiesced. Guess he wants to take his mind off what's happening to Buffy too. "Short version, edited to protect the innocent. I told you Spike he helped me after Eyghon. It's true he did. Helped bring me back from the edge. Never wanted to do heavy magic again. Wouldn't have been able to anyway, I'd opened up too many holes in myself, and if I'd made a habit of it...well wouldn't have been pretty. Occasional light stuff no worries. Samuel helped me see a purpose outside of demon summoning, hedonism, juvenile delinquency, and the hard stuff.  
  
More importantly though, he helped me after what Ethan and I did to Randall. You may have heard some of this from Buffy, I don't know. But Randall was taken whole by Eyghon, and we had no convenient vampire to force him into, even if we'd have been sober enough to think of that option. We killed him. He was one of our best friends, but we be-headed him. At that point it was the only choice we had. You cannot know how glad I am Buffy didn't have to do that to Willow. It nearly destroyed me. I couldn't let it happen to her too. It did destroy Ethan and me. He never really faced up to what we did. He embraced Chaos to deny it, and I tried to find redemption in the family calling. He hated that I did that. He enjoys tormenting me, I think, so he can still deny what we did, make it go away in the rush of chaos."  
  
"Hence the Fyrrl demon?" from me remembering the fun of trashing Giles car, and the happy memory of a demon Giles chasing that scientist bitch.  
  
"Quite. Anyway that was before he became the Guardian. When I was researching the source of the slayers, watchers and even the key it struck me I should come here. We had kept in touch over the years. Christmas cards an all. So I came and he introduced me to the Mother. She showed me the past. She also sealed the damage I had done to myself by the black magic Ethan and I did together during our irresponsible period. Now I can cast again without opening myself to darkness. Which was good. As you saw. The rest…the rest is private." At which he stopped and Anyanka patted his hand. I got him another beer, poor bloke looked like he needed it.  
  
  
  
Well what do you say? Not much you can do really. Just be there for each other I suppose. Failing that, buy the bloke a beer and give him a friendly light puch to the arm. Then be British and move the topic to football.  
  
So we moved on to lighter topics and put some more beers away for a few hours. Then a boy arrived and spoke something in Swahili to Giles.  
  
"Buffy and Samuel are at the guest hut. We should join them. Ready?" he translated. So we left the noisy bar to the quiet hut on the edge of the village. 


	24. EBuffiny

I recognised the scent straight away. It was the same as that which had surrounded me after my little trip into the past. Her eyes too. They had that looking inwards look I imagine mine had. Suppose I should have taken a picture to know for sure, but not being able to see yourself in a mirror you learn to guess. Not sure I'm ready to look myself in the mirror, might not be for a long time. But someday…maybe. Nope I will!  
  
She'd got the whole spaced out thing going on too. Must be a similar plan of campaign. Weird to see her like that, not used to it at all. She looked straight at me and said. "He was right then…Dracula. We are kindred, dark, demons, same demonic animatingy thing. Not come back wrong, always been wrong. Not human, but we're all humans, all the same, but not. I just wanted to be normal, why can't I be normal?"  
  
Ok don't know how to deal with this one. Thought everything would be better not backwards. Mind you she is still a bit stoned. So I looked at the Shaman for help.  
  
He came through and spoke to her. "Buffy, that was the first stage. You needed to know where you come from, to find where you are going. You're human, so is Giles, so am I. Spike and Anya started out their long lives as human. They became other than just human. You are too. In the case of vampires and slayers you both have human aspects with added powers from the same source. It's what you do with those powers. That's what counts. Whether it's "demonic"" and he did little air quotes I kid you not. "Or not is makes those powers good or bad. Anyanka here is a "demon". She's helped you and the World, and she's helping you now. Does that make her by definition bad?  
  
"Umm, no?" from my spaced out beloved.  
  
"Good girl. Now I am going to test you at the end, as this epiphany is going to stick if I have to use super-glue to do it. But not right now. You need to clear you head before we do part two." I've said it before, but I do like this bloke.  
  
"Why's it so hard? Why do I have so many epiphanies and they don't stick? I'm gonna be record holder girl soon. Dunno about anyone else but SO tired of it." At least she's the one articulating the question inquiring minds have been dying to know the answer to.  
  
"You died twice, correct?"  
  
"Yep, been there, got the scars, if not the T shirt."  
  
"Think of it this way. This last death you came back missing the most important part of your soul. The first time you fractured it. You weren't away long enough to lose it, but you had an injury that was never treated. If you break a bone and it heals by itself you might get pains in later life, but it heals. If you do the right exercises and therapy, so you strengthen the supporting areas, you might avoid problems down the line. You didn't do that. So you had an injury that caused you and others problems much later. Hence non-sticky epiphanies."  
  
"God, Buffy. I'm sorry. I should have known. Should have done something." From Giles with now even more to feed his guilt complex. At least he was getting some comforting pats from Anyanka.  
  
"Not your fault Giles. Wasn't doing the talky girl thing. And when I did you took me to see Miss Death IS Your Gift. And may I say, seeing the backstory on her. Weird much!" Glad to see Giles looking better at that. Glad she said it for both their sakes.  
  
The Shaman continued. "The Mother has now healed that damage. You all did a great job on the restoration. The scars on that restored soul have now been healed. We shouldn't need the glue. But I'll keep it handy just in case." She actually smiled at that. If my heart doesn't beat I wish someone could explain to me why mine felt like it jumped at that smile.  
  
He turned to Giles. "I would like you to speak to my Sister and her husband when you get back regarding a book list for Buffy and maybe the rest of you. They have been doing some good work with both the depressed and addicts with cognitive behaviour therapy, I think that's the term anyway, not my area really. But it might help."  
  
"Uh?" from me. Bugger, thought the whole bleeding California therapy culture thing was continents away. I am not giving up the fags though.  
  
"Harley St practice Spike. Sent a picture of the new clinic in the Christmas card last year. Will do Samuel. Now?"  
  
Anyanka started suddenly. Looked at Giles and "Rupie, I have to go. It's D'Hoffryn. I have to go to Arashmahar. Now! Bye everyone." She kissed him and teleported out of the hut. Rupert looked bereft. Hope she isn't about to get into trouble for the whole helping us thing. Owe her too much for that. Him too. Don't want to have to take on the whole of Arashmahar, but will do if I have to.  
  
I looked at the Shaman, and he indicated he wanted to talk to Giles alone. Ok Spike, can do this. Buffy needs to clear her head, so no taking her to the bar. It's dark and she's maybe not in top fighting trim but we're both fast and strong enough for the local fauna. So walk it is.  
  
I asked and she said yes!  
  
Looked Rupert in the eye and he nodded for us to go, so I left him with his old mate. Opened the door of the hut and escorted my lady out into the night.  
  
  
  
We weren't that far from the water hole, well not with super-speed and stamina. Need some exercise too, helps you know. So we set off at a fair trot. The night was clear, the sounds of the animals hunting echoed in the distance and I could hear the sound of drum based music and merriment. She could too. I could see the relative cool of the night help sober her back up and see her start to take in the surroundings.  
  
"Bit of a change from home luv?"  
  
"So little electricy light. Moon, stars, huts and I'm in Tanzania Spike. This is all so weird. Africa! I'm in Africa! We're in Africa! Together! And it's all green grassy massive landscape. Thought Africa was jungle, desert or starving famine victims. Desert, done desert and Miss Cryptic and her pet cat. But this guy's sister is a doctor in London. He's one of Giles old friends and he hasn't once tried to kill me, or turn me into my costume. Talking of which!"  
  
"Sorry luv, but you were so cute! Prefer the blond hair though."  
  
"Me too. I think your roots are beginning to show. How do you do dye your hair without a mirror? Always wanted to know."  
  
"Carefully luv, very carefully." And she burst out laughing.  
  
We carried on down the trail laughing together. It was great, can feel the weight starting to ease off my chest. If we can laugh together we can make it, and we're gonna. Made me a happy re-tuned vampire too by worrying about Giles and Anyanka too. Think it's still more worries about Giles getting hurt than any great concern for Anyanka, but she's getting there. Be nice if those two could be friends.  
  
  
  
When we were almost at the water hole a couple of hyenas tried to make us dinner. We showed 'em who's ahead of who in the food chain, and it had the advantage of giving me some supper.  
  
Found ourselves a nice vantage point to watch the elephants, zebras, gazelles and giraffes getting a late night cool drink, after a hot day of avoiding hungry lions and hyenas. Sitting down side by side beneath an acacia tree, she told me about Xander being possessed by a hyena spirit. The pig bit gave me a good laugh must say. Have to remember that one.  
  
Then she told me what Xander had tried to do to her under the influence of that spirit. Hate having anything in common with that git. I started to apologise again. But she just put her finger to my lips and just said. "Forgiven, heard it already, know you mean it, made the change, don't need to hear it again. Past, gone, future now. Lets watch Discovery Channel in full surround sound and smellovsion. Never, ever thought I'd see this so gonna enjoy."  
  
  
  
So we did. 


	25. EBuffiny Part Deux - Meet the Family

All this country hopping we've been doing I keep losing track of time. Least with the All new! Improved! Non-combustible! Me, losing track of time isn't gonna cause a nice bush-fire anymore, or instant flamey death. Suppose I should get a watch at some point. But right now all that matters is seeing the sun rise, over the closest I'm ever likely to come to the Garden of Eden, with the girl I love leaning comfortably against me. She's even awake, which is a bonus.  
  
It's good to give her a break. She's breathing all nice and her heart rate's all relaxed now. Needed the break myself. But know we gotta get back to the Shaman and whatever it is he needs to do to her. Need to get back to see if Rupert's ok too, and if Anyanka's returned. Besides can't stay here too long, not and avoid the deadly killer leachesl. Really must stop watching Blackadder re-runs. I'm sure at some point I'm gonna tell the whelp he's beginning to resemble the baby eating Bishop of Bath and Wells. Mind you at least he won't be able to snipe back. Might start missing that…Nah.  
  
I looked at my girl and she nodded. Gave her a hand up as her foot had gone to sleep, curled up as she'd been. Of course as soon as she stood on it the pins and needles started up, and she had to start jumping up and down. A slayer can jump pretty far too. Think we startled the wildebeeste, what with all the loud "ouches", yelps and "Spike, why didn't you get me up sooner, this is all your fault!" coming from Buffy. But she wasn't hitting me, so I didn't take it personal like. Just let her work it through, and when she finished gave her my arm, like Mama taught me. She took it. Big Yey! Then we retraced our steps back to the hut.  
  
  
  
After a nice little walking safari in the fresh morning air we got there. Found no Anyanka, a worried looking Rupert, and a Shaman sitting ready with some funky smelling powders. Guess it's time for Ebuffiny Part Deux - This Time it's Personal. Bugger!  
  
So I asked the Shaman "Another nice drive mate?"  
  
"Not this time. Hers will be different to yours. She has already had much of what she needed to know. She just needs some reminders, clarifications and a few little extras. A nice walk this time. There is a spot nearby that doesn't see the tourist landrovers and is away from the village. We don't want the screams disturbing the children." He replied.  
  
Buffy, Giles and I all looked at each other on that last point. Bummer! But all three of us sucked it in, breathed deeply and nodded at each other. Bring it on! Nothing my girl can't cope with. Bloody hell the grave can't keep either of us! Reckon it'd have a bloody hard job with Watcher Boy too. Especially when up against a very possessive vengeance demon an all.  
  
So, he gathered up the powdery stuff, and we followed him. Ended up just where Buffy and me just came from. Inn't ironic? No, not thinking that. Otherwise I'll end up with that bloody song playing in my head all day.  
  
  
  
Shaman sat Buffy down under our tree, took my and Rupert's hands, and started doing the mojo. Felt something warm flowing between us three, and a bleeding weird feeling of openess of my thoughts. No barriers between our minds, but not intrusive like. Not like when Red kept forcing her thoughts into my head that summer.  
  
Didn't last too long. Thank goodness. Not sure that's a feeling I'm ready to spend too much time sharing with the Watcher, or even Buffy. A bloke's mind should be private you know. Already had too many people poking around in it.  
  
He let go of our hands and waved me and Rupert away. Don't want to leave her. Know it shows in my face 'coz Rupert gives me a rueful look. He don't wanna either. But man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Be worth it. We give each other a very light punch on the shoulders and walk off together down another path. Before I go I see the Shaman pouring the powders in a circle around Buffy and chanting.  
  
  
  
We found a tree and sat down in the shade. Rupert got his flask out and we both had a much needed nip of scotch. He hates this too, written all over him.  
  
In the distance I could hear the screaming. Bloody demonic hearing, sometimes it's a curse. I put my head in my hands while I tried to keep myself together in front of Giles.  
  
He gave me back the flask and said "It's always hard to leave a person you care for to suffer, even if it's for their own good."  
  
Passed him back the flask, and couldn't resist it "didn't have a problem leaving me mate." Well it had hurt. Being left alone repeatedly 'll do that.  
  
He took a swig and came back. "Believe it or not. It wasn't easy. Surprised me actually. I knew what was coming and knew you'd pass, and I don't really understand it, but leaving you there was strangely hard. Don't know if it was the summer, or some hellmouth related amnesia spell thing, but no, not easy. Not easy at all."  
  
At which we both started to get overly embarrassed, sniff, he cleaned his glasses, and we had to change the subject. The mutual embarrassment related conversation break lasted a long time. But the screaming continued, and we both needed a distraction, before either of us headed back down that path to stop it.  
  
So, after another little swig I ask "any sign when Anyanka's coming back?"  
  
That induces a glowering, oops, mouth foot problem again. So I continue "you know 'coz friends, concerned for friends. 'Coz that's all we are, and all we're gonna be…and don't want friends to be in trouble, wanna help. Think you two are great together, and well concerned like."  
  
He lightens back up and takes the flask, swigs it gown and "thanks, I know that. Anya and I have talked about recent events. She says you were a good friend to her. Thank you for that. Of course if you even think…"  
  
After both hurried and heartfelt denials on my part he continued. "No sign. I must say I am worried." He took another nip. "She has done so much good recently I do worry about D'Hoffryn. But…if she is in trouble we sort it out!"  
  
"Too bloody right we do mate" and I raised the flask to that.  
  
  
  
Of course right then the air shimmered and Anyanka appeared.  
  
  
  
She kissed Rupert, nodded to me and listened to the screams. She took the flask off me and said "I love the sounds of screaming in the morning." Knew we shouldn't have gone to see Apocalypse Now Redux, but it had seemed a nice bit of light relief at the time.  
  
She turned to Rupert and said "D'Hoffryn wants to see you. He wants to make sure I'm not making another big mistake." Giles face paled. Meeting the parents just took on a truly hellmouth twist. "Oh, and he wants to know all about these horrible men out to exterminate all the demons. So you have to come now." She tossed the flask back to me, took Giles hand and they both disappeared.  
  
  
  
Of course that left your truly on his own with the sounds of my beloved screaming, with the sounds of crying mixed in now. Sometimes I hate my un- life. Not sure which is worse though, being here, or being interrogated by a family of vengeance demons who've just had to take back all the wedding presents from the last relationship.  
  
  
  
Took the last swig out of the flask and tried to chill. Failed miserably. Tried pacing, didn't work either. Refused to brood. Opted to take a slow walk back. Can't leave her there, gotta be there as soon as it's finished. And I'm not like Rupert, I don't have the mojo, or the briefing, to know when it's finished.  
  
  
  
As I got back it seemed to be finishing. The Shaman was clearing the powders. Buffy was crying but looking up at me. I looked at the Shaman and he nodded to me. I ran straight over to Buffy and she threw her arms around me. I held her and let her cry it out.  
  
As I stroked her hair I looked up at the Shaman. He said "she'll be ok now. Take as long as you need. I need to go back and check on your witch friend. When you are ready return." I nodded and he walked away.  
  
We stood there for a long time. She eventually calmed and gave me a brave smile. I asked her "wanna talk about it pet?" Know it's not her thing to talk but I do think it'd help.  
  
She surprised me. She nodded and motioned for us both to sit down. Think it's taken a lot out of her. So we sat back down under our tree, facing each other, our hands gripped tightly together.  
  
She started. "Still processing it all. Not sure I'm gonna be coherent Buffy but I'll try. Some of it wasn't too bad. Relived the epiphanies I've already had over and over again. With the Shaman in my head making sure I understood their meanings, over and over again. Felt the pain, made the connections. Felt again how hungry I felt as a vampire, when that kid made peoples nightmares come true. How I wanted to eat my friends. You lived with that and still cared for me, and for Dawn. How did you do that?"  
  
"Awkward sod me pet. Always have been. You were a vampire? And I missed it?"  
  
"Before you came to Sunnydale, Spike. That was just the first, and not the worst. The worst..the worst was…I was you when you were taken by Glory. Everything she did to you, everything you felt, I felt it. What I said to you afterwards, and how I forgot it. And how I never said "Thank You.""  
  
"Don't have to pet. Didn't do it for that." I hate she had to go through that. Bloody hated going through it. Never would have wanted her to.  
  
"Over the last hours I relived sending Angel to hell to save the World, and knowing I had to do it. I knew death and the threat of it, and that I wanted to live and to love. I felt every man I loved leave me, and I learnt it wasn't all my fault, it takes two, and sometimes it only takes one, whose not me. I even had Angel turn human and take back the day without even asking me, because he couldn't take not being the big strong hero. That one hurt, a lot.  
  
I got taken through all my relationships and how I hurt Giles, Dawn and everyone, and how I shut down. I've been torn open again, I feel raw. But I feel. I felt every blow I inflicted in you in that alley, like it was me, and how you felt, then and later.  
  
The First Slayer and her advice that was fun on repeat. It seems I got her wrong. You're my gift. Of course saving the multiverse was still a good thing, but apparently if you me and Dawn had nicked that Porsche you fancied we'd have outrun Glory." She gave me a half smile half grimace.  
  
"We live and learn pet. Well unlive here I guess. Can't change stuff, can just move on, make the best of things. Some things I'd change in a non- existent heartbeat but being re-tuned, nope I'll keep that. If I'd nicked the Porsche maybe we wouldn't be here both all epiphanied up. Maybe we'd have killed each other. Who knows the way we both were. We gotta chance now. Don't we pet?"  
  
She kissed me lightly on my closed lips. I think my eyes nearly burst out of their sockets as I leant back and looked at her. She said "We do, I think we do, now." 


	26. Retrieval

I thought that kiss she gave me after Glory did her little exploratory surgery couldn't be topped. Knew I was wrong that moment in the collapsing house. This was better. No "what you did was gross", no seeing me for a moment and kicking me into touch, virtue fluttering, the next morning. It was only a peck on the lips, but she wasn't looking at me like I was something to be scraped off her shoe. She was looking at me, eyes wide, some bewilderment in them, warmth too, but mostly she was seeing me. It's all I've ever really wanted.  
  
Ok yes, I do want the 5 hours straight. I want us to hire videos and never get to see them coz we got otherwise occupied. I want dinner and a movie. Hell! I want us to go to Dawn's graduation ceremony together as her very strange parental units. I want everything, the whole kit and caboodle. I'm not a saint. I'm me. I've been re-tuned. It's the best thing that's happened to me. To tell the truth part of me was scared shitless about what going to Africa might do to the real me. But now I'm not fighting myself, I've got a chance at making things right. But mostly what I've always wanted is love, and most of all for her to love me. Looks like I might have a chance now. And that, that's one sweet feeling.  
  
But after the floods of tears and oceans of pain we've been through to get to this point I am not gonna screw things up now. Not at this point, no way, no day. Slow and steady it is. Besides gotta to get back, still got a Rupert and Anyanka missing in action. So I brushed away the last tear from her face with my thumb, smiled at her, and said "ready to go back pet?"  
  
She smiled back and nodded. She took my arm as she was still feeling, and looking a bit wobbly after all the epiphanising process. I couldn't be happier to provide it. Well I could, but not right now.  
  
  
  
We walked slowly back to the village, stopping every now and then for her to catch a rest. Of course she wouldn't admit that's what it was, but I've never known her be into bird watching before. Me? Yes in the period after Dru dumped me, but that was a totally different type of bird. And look what that ended up landing me with? Not one of my prouder moments, that. But these birds were very pretty to look at. Dru would have loved their bright colours, but at least these ones were free and not about to starve to death in a cage.  
  
  
  
On the third let's look at the pretty birdies break she asked where Giles was. Of course I had to tell her. I'm not about to start lying to her now. Never was any bloody good at it anyway. So I had to tell her. Then of course she starts crying, saying it's all her fault, that she's always taken Giles for granted, never been there for him like he was for her, and that if Anya suffers for what she's done to help her she won't be able to forgive herself.  
  
All of which leaves us huddled together, her crying, me soothing, whilst worrying my guts out myself.  
  
Eventually we both reach equilibrium, look at each other and both say "The Shaman, he can get us to them right?" At which we both snort at the brain sharing and I say "Too bloody right luv! Ready to hit Arashmahar?"  
  
She nodded, we stood up, and she did the worst impression of an English accent since Dick Van Dyke in Mawy Pawpins and said "too bluuddy wyte me ol chynna."  
  
"My ears, my ears! I'm storming Arashmahar on my own unless you promise never to do that again."  
  
Buffy gave me her battle grin and said "no way buster! My Watcher! I go too! But I promise, if I get to choose you some new clothes. Still feeling guilt from blowing yours up, from epiphany phase 12 here".  
  
"Nothing poofy? Got re-tuned, not turned poncy."  
  
"Nothing poofy, maybe a little colour?"  
  
"Ok pet, for you, anything, but you know that."  
  
"I do." Then she stood up straight put on General Buffy and said "Ready mon Capitaine?"  
  
I looked at her, tilted my head and said "Casablanca?"  
  
She gave a little sniff, bit her lip and said "Mum's favourite."  
  
"Lady always had great taste!" Always liked Joyce.  
  
"Dunno? She liked you." Buffy said as she swatted my arm.  
  
"As I said, great taste, great lady that, miss her."  
  
"Me too Spike, me too." She started crying again. Poor girl never really got to grieve for her mum, what with Glory and everything. The Epiphany must have probed that wound again. Least she gets to cry it out properly this time. So I just hold her and let her.  
  
Once she'd cried it out she looked up at me and said "I'm all soggy again, and I've made you all soggy."  
  
"Birds of a feather pet, that's us. We should both start carrying handkerchiefs at this rate!"  
  
She smiled and said "Speaking of handkerchiefs! Onward the rescue squad, even if it's a bit damp, well a lot damp."  
  
  
  
This time we made it back to the hut. Not sure how long we'd been away. Must get that watch.  
  
The Shaman was there, but not Giles nor Anyanka.  
  
  
  
Buffy starts to demand he open a portal to Arashmahar, so she could go and retrieve her errant watcher and his demonic girlfriend.  
  
  
  
Fortunately, before she could either get blasted back to SunnyD, or get a portal actually opened, there was the tell- tale shimmering of the air and both appeared.  
  
They had changed into clean clothes, and had even more luggage with them. Can see who gets to carry it too!  
  
Buffy launched herself at Giles alternately swatting and hugging him saying "your all right, your all right! We were coming to rescue you!"  
  
Her hugged her back. "No need for rescue. Charming folk, very helpful, very interesting, sorry you were worried Buffy, but we're ok. How are you, that's the important thing."  
  
"All new, all improved, all epiphanied Buffy, all here. And happy Buffy you're ok. We worried, you know! Don't do it again, please?"  
  
"We'll try not to Buffy" said the Watcher, hugging her. I turned to Anyanka and she nodded back to me that they were both all right. Can breathe again, well when I want to smoke or talk anyway.  
  
So I lit up and had a well needed fag.  
  
Once Buffy and Giles were untangled I looked pointedly at the luggage. Giles looked at it and said. "D'hoffryn has kindly supplied us with top of the range trekking gear for our little expedition to Shambala. Saves us some wishes, as I'm sure we're all aiming to be lower in the whole pain reserves thing."  
  
Anyanka perked up "And I get to go with you all as long as I'm needed to stop these genocide promoting bigots. No need to go off for jobs even if I'm summoned. Hallie's promised to cover for me. So I get to be with Rupie! Oh and you two as well! But I prefer being with Rupie."  
  
Inquiring vamps just gotta know. "So you got the thumbs up then Rupert?"  
  
"Quite, and I'm sure you'll get the story out of me over a beer in Kathmandu. But right now we're going to have to leave." He turned to the Shaman and they hugged each other. Buffy waited 'til they'd finished and said her thank you. I went next. Well what do you say. Guy saved my unlife, saved me. What can you say, except Thank You.  
  
Shaman smiled at us both and said we were welcome and he looked forward to seeing us again. Told us all he'd do his best with Willow, but there weren't guarantees. She needed to want help. Giles joined us in thanking him for everything. Anyanka pointed me towards the luggage, both old and new. This time super strong Buffy helped though. We took the bags between us. Anyanka opened a portal.  
  
We stepped through and found ourselves in a hotel garden in Kathmadu. 


	27. Arrival

It was a big garden and fortunately we had arrived behind some big flowery things which masked us from sight. Stepping out from there I could see the white of what looked like an old, slightly shabby, European classical style palace with some new wings bunged on. Prince Charles would have a fit. Some very scruffy travellers were enjoying a beer in the last of the afternoon sun. I raised my eyebrows and said to Giles "not the Hilton this time then?"  
  
Buffy piped up. "I liked the Hilton."  
  
Giles interrupted. "No, we need to know what the opposition are up to. This place is the centre of the traveller grapevine for much of Asia. Anything going on this is where we'll find out. I'm sure Riley and his sort'll be staying somewhere safely bland."  
  
Buffy continued oblivious "Holiday Inn? Marriott? No?" he shook his head. She continued "Days Inn? Howard Johnson? Motel 6? Uuuh this place looks funny!"  
  
Giles grinned at her and said, "welcome to backbacker world Buffy, and our best hope of both hearing what's going on, and sorting out the mechanics of getting to Shambala."  
  
"Spike and me don't have to be carry guys all the way then?"  
  
"Not and be able to fight too. You might have enough problems adjusting to the altitude, though being a slayer you should be ok. Spike and Anya being immortals should be fine, though I don't remember too many studies on altitude and demon physiology in the Watcher library. But I know I'm going to feel it. Maybe you too. And it can be fatal above 10,000ft, and we'll be going much higher. No, we'll take some porters for the bulk of the luggage and especially the cooking."  
  
"I cook!" from Buffy.  
  
"Exactly!" From Giles.  
  
"Anya tell him how well I cook!"  
  
"Rupie dear hiring cooks is a wonderful idea. And porters too, I'm not having you tire yourself out. That's my job!"  
  
Buffy Sherpa and Muggins Sherpa took the bags for at least one of the last times in the near future and traipsed after Giles and Anyanka through the veranda into the Kathmandu Guest House. We got to reception, handed Giles our passports, and let him sort out the rooms.  
  
  
  
Giles brought back our passports after checking us all in. As he passed mine back to me Buffy snatched it, going "ooh! Passport Photo of Spike!" Naturally I tried to snatch it back. Since it's a magical passport the pic isn't the usual FBI's most wanted horror, but it's still a passport photo, and I'm not sure it really catches my best side. This of course resulted in us chasing each other round the lobby, whilst being watched with interest by the locals, and travellers clad in either trekking gear or hippy ethnic gear, or a combination of both.  
  
Giles and Anyanka had their "what are we going to do with the children" looks on their faces. Not fair really, she's at least 900 years older than me, and while he looks older than I do, my birth-date was about a century earlier. Wouldn't give this up though, she's laughing, squealing, and I catch her and tickle her 'til she gives my passport back. Came as a surprise that time in the crypt when I found the big bad slayer was ticklish, course she had to retaliate, unfortunately, I am too.  
  
This time I got there first and she's an out of breath laughing ball on the floor of reception. Unfortunately my passport is still right in the centre of said ball of Buffy.  
  
Giles cleared his throat. Oops. We're both in trouble with Dad. Never mind, it's just so much more fun tickling Buffy 'til she can't take any more. And she can take so much.  
  
Giles cleared his throat again. Ok I can be good, probably, well maybe in this case. Besides Buffy's beginning to get breathless and that's always time to stop. So I do. Then I help Buffy up, but even then she keeps my passport, and stuffs it down the front of her blouse. Then she sticks her very cute tongue out at me. Before I can say anything she turns demurely to Giles and does a big eyed "sorry, we'll be good."  
  
Giles and Anyanka did a synchronised "humpf" and threw the luggage to both Buffy and me. Least we're both in the dog-house this time. So Buffy and I throw "we're in trouble now" glances at each other and start giggling again, anyway until we're full recipients of the Giles glare. Time to behave, a bit anyway. So we duly trot after them, and a hotel guy who just looks relieved the nutters have stopped without him having to call the police.  
  
We go upstairs and get shown to two rooms overlooking the garden. Lot more basic than Cairo but considerably more comfy than Tanzania, and much better than some of the places I've slept in my time. Of course when we travelled with Darla she always insisted on staying in the top hotels. She'd always complain about the service, right before eating the night clerk. What I never figured is that she always moaned that the service in the hotels never improved despite all the complaints she made. Strange woman, suppose over a hundred years of Angelus'll do that.  
  
Same rooming arrangement as Cairo though. But since all the trekking gear is muddled up in the bags we all retire to Giles and my room for now. Sun won't be up for much longer and when the sun goes down at this height it's gonna get cold. Be nice to get a beer in though, and I'm dying for a fag.  
  
Anyanka pulled out the fleeces and threw a emerald green one to Giles saying "Rupie this is yours…it goes with your eyes!" He blushed. She gave a tiny deep purple one to Buffy. Lovely rich colour but more Dawn's colour than Buffy's. Obviously all is not quite yet hunky dory between the girls. But Buffy smiles and says thanks. She takes a crimson one for herself, and I get a black one with little blue footprints on the back. Least it's not poofy.  
  
Buffy said "I need a shower. This is lovely, but I'm still all smoky, dusty and messy Buffy." Anyanka gave her the room key for their room, and she went to move next door.  
  
Of course she still had my passport, so "Missy! My passport?"  
  
"Later Spike, when I'm all clean, non-sweaty Buffy!" And she flounced off next door. Course I don't actually mind my passport Buffy scented, and she knows that perfectly well.  
  
Anyanka continued unpacking what looks like enough gear to both climb Everest and walk there as well. Giles and me put our fleeces on. I do need some fags though and that needs the local money. So I ask the watcher if he's got any. He shakes his head, but since we all need some we both go downstairs. Not gonna change it all now, just enough for food, booze, fags and expenses for a day or so.  
  
Both of us have done lots of travelling, and it would really go against the grain to change money in the hotel. Did it in Cairo but this place is just so much funkier and neither of us want to be boring middle of the road hotel guys. Here anyway we both get to be us. So we step outside the hotel into a big drive with some giant Mercedes and Bedford trucks parked outside, both plastered with overland travel company logos on them. We decline the services of a taxi and some auto-rickshaws and inhale Asia.  
  
  
  
It's been a while since I was in Asia, and it's more Western than I remember, but still fun. Besides I've never been to Nepal before and at my age it's bloody good to be able to say something's new. It's loud, the air pollution is terrible, but breathing for me is optional. There are advantages to being undead.  
  
We walk out into the street, full of restaurants catering to travellers, the odd internet café, some bars, trekking agencies, traffic, travellers and touts looking for business. I'm not the only one breathing it in Giles looking round says "its changed, of course, but still much the same." At my quizzical look he says "was here with Ethan, of course we were off our heads most of the time we were here but…" Shakes his head and spots a carpet shop.  
  
We go into the little shop and the guy inside greets us and starts to unfurl carpets. Giles starts talking to him in a language I don't know, but at least the carpets stop being exhibited. Giles and the guy do some negotiating, play with a calculator, come to an exchange rate and do the trade. Can't help feeling Anyanka would have preferred to have done it. On the other hand if she had Giles might have ended up with a carpet as well. And no matter how many porters we end up with I just know who'd end up lugging a carpet up a bloody great big mountain.  
  
Anyway, fortified with some local dosh, we made our way back to the girls. Picked up a packet of fags first though. God I love countries where they are this cheap. Course the downside is that I miss Passions, but this is much more fun anyway.  
  
Giles and Anyanka opted to stay in the room sorting out the gear. Well that was their story and they were sticking to it. Yeah right! I knocked on Buffy's door and invited her to a) come down to the garden for a beer and b) give me back my passport. She voted yes to option a.  
  
I bought a couple of bottle of beer. The bottles were big but they were the only option, and Giles had told me to keep her beer levels up, to offset the germs in the dust. So no coke for Buffy this time. We walked out into the garden and found ourselves a seat.  
  
  
  
The sun was setting and, despite the haze, we could still see the foothills of the himalayas turning red overlooking the city. I say foothills, anywhere else they'd be bloody huge mountains.  
  
We clinked our bottles and supped away.  
  
She took my passport out of the pocket of her fleece. She looked at it, and then at me. She handed it back to me. Very quietly she said, "is that your real name? It's not the real date of course, but is it your real name?"  
  
This is a turn up. I tilted my head and looked at her. "Yes pet, right name, right day and month too, just the year's different. Why?"  
  
"God Spike! All that time I was having sex with you! I never knew your surname! My Mother would kill me!"  
  
"Never! So? You like it?"  
  
"Suits you! William Grey."  
  
"My mum'd be happy. Named me after my dad's favourite brother. Got 'imself killed in the charge of the Light Brigade. Daft sod."  
  
"So suicidal courage and a total lack of common sense runs in the family?"  
  
"Yeah, both sides." So I gave her the potted family history. Dad's side full of border wars with the Scots. Got a title back under Elizabeth for Scot and catholic bashing. Course my dad was a younger son and didn't inherit, went into the church, while his brothers became soldiers or sailors. That phased her, she nearly dropped her beer at that one.  
  
"Your father was a Bishop?"  
  
"Yeah, well didn't have to be very religious for that then, pet. C of E you know, not done to be enthusiastic, that was for catholics or methodists. Was a classical scholar, well regarded one too. Had me learning Homer at 6. Course me mum preferred Wordsworth. But he was 25 years older than mum, died when I was 12." She looked sad for me at that and rubbed my free hand. But most of all she was listening. That's what felt bloody marvellous. She was listening and interested. Means everything, that does.  
  
So I told her the rest. My oldest brother John being a social disgrace and going into trade. Course he was bloody successful and so able to support mum, my sisters, and me in my daft literary delusions. Henry going off to join the army in India like mum's brothers.  
  
Then of course she asked the question. "Did you kill them?"  
  
Know what Angelus did. He gloried in it…the tosser. Know she'd expect it of me too. Still hurts she asked even if I knew she had too. Been one of the things I've blessed since I got re-tuned that I didn't do. Not sure I could have stood it now if I had. But owe the girl an answer.  
  
Very quietly I said "No. Matter of fact I created such a hue and cry we had to flee London. Angelus, the git, nearly staked me over it. Not innocent by any means, pet. Did some pretty horrible things to some people whose sins were being mean gits, and having a different taste in literature…they had some, I couldn't write it. But my family, no they lived out their lives. I couldn't be part of them anymore. Saw some entries in the papers sometime. But busy being the Scourge of Europe at the time so had to move on luv. Been changed, couldn't go back. Been changed now, not going back."  
  
She smiled. Clinked her bottle with mine and said, "I'm glad…to both." Then we enjoyed what was left of the sunset. Together. 


	28. Tasty Clues

When the sun went down it got colder. We'd finished the beers and Buffy's stomach was as she put it "getting all rumbly". Course she hadn't eaten anything since Egypt, and since she needs feeding up, not getting even thinner, this needs sorting. So we went upstairs and retrieved the love birds.  
  
They had got our trekking boots out. Which was good since Buffy was still in sandals and I'm not having her get frostbite. I'm very partial to those toes. So we put the trekking boots on. From the lack of gear in neat piles and matching notepads I don't think a great deal of sorting got done. But both Giles and Anyanka claimed a hearty appetite, so we went outside to pick a restaurant.  
  
There were plenty to chose from. Not exactly your Michelin Two Star Guide sort. But I haven't been into that stuff since Darla dumped us. Always preferred the funky dive to the pink table cloths. I was in my element here. We past one with a window full of cakes, and an inside full of travellers all busy munching away. Buffy looked tempted, but Rupert seemed to know where he was going so we followed him.  
  
We followed him up an alleyway not far from the hotel into the Rum Doodle Restaurant. I remember reading the book when it came out, lampooning heroic expeditions. Good stuff. Course it wasn't always easy reading around Dru, she'd sometimes get all upset and start ripping up my books, anything that distracted me from Princess. Not allowed, but usually worth it.  
  
Giles and Anyanka tried to find a table while Buffy and I headed to the bar. The walls were covered in giant yeti footprints with Country X, Year Y, Expedition to Peak Z on them. Guess vamps aren't the only ones who take trophies.  
  
There was a bit of a scrum at the bar. Must have hit rush hour, hippy style. Loved hippies and travellers of all sort since they evolved in the 60's. Usually some good stuff in the veins, some cash, never tell Mum where they're going next, travel in herds, takes forever for people to miss 'em. All in all decidedly lunchable. Feel a bit sick right now, looking at all of 'em. Don't like this much.  
  
The shaven headed hippy next to me trod on my foot. Then said "Sorry mate!"  
  
Ok, good test of the effects of being re-tuned on "people who ain't us." Annoyed? Check. Fangs itching? Nope. Urge to rend and maim? Nope. Urge to wash the guys grubby gear? Nope, safe from wanting to open a home for distressed hippies. Sorted! So hence "'S all right, no damage."  
  
He smiled at me. "Hey you're a Brit too?"  
  
"Yeah…Mate over there is too" pointing towards Giles who was engrossed in deep conversation with Anya at a table she'd commandeered. Never get in the way of a vengeance demon on a table hunting mission. "Girls are yanks though, but we forgive them." Smiled at her at that and she smiled back at me, though I got a swat to the arm. Well worth it for the smile though.  
  
The dread-locked blond girl hanging onto the slaphead smiled at us and said "way cool! We don't see many Americans on the road." She must have read too much Kerouac at an impressionable age. "Just us Canadians, the Brits and the Aussies and Kiwis here" pointing at another couple on their other side. The tall rugger bugger said "yeah, seem to get to Europe then get scared eh?" The hair braided brunette holding his hand said "there's some making out they're Canadian to avoid the whole everyone hating the yanks, kidnapping crap." The Aussie twang marking her out.  
  
Time for Investigating! Spike to move into action. Worth trying. "So not seen many yanks about then? No big, stupid scar, bland with a side order of bland?" Buffy swatted me but added "with un-naturally perfect blond robo wives hanging on to their muscly arms?" I glared. She grinned at me.  
  
The Canadian piped up "there were a couple, down by Bodhnath remember? Watching the cremations on the burning ghats? Seemed way nice until they said they were with a tour group." At the expression "tour group" all four children shuddered. So I asked about the rest of the "tour group". Worth chasing up the lead after all, even though I could see Rupert signalling to us.  
  
Aussie says she "saw some big fellas with a mini-bus down near Durbar Square and Freak St". Slaphead says "the convict was so out of her head she wouldn't recognise a mini-bus". The All Black says "the whinging pom's only here to collect some money from his mummy to avoid having a shower when the monsoon arrived." Slaphead retaliates with a diatribe that "sheepshagger's only trying to avoid getting fried when India and Pakistan start lobbing nukes at each other." Buffy whimpered and muttered "why do I bother" at that last point. Fortunately we got served our 4 beers and could leave before our new friends started throwing punches at each other.  
  
We rejoined Giles and Anyanka. Told them about the useful points we'd learnt. Anyanka was able to assure us that she could get us out of the way if the nukes started flying, unless it was once we were inside Shambala territory - in which case we were all royally screwed. They did lose a vengeance demon in Hiroshima. Apparently the necklace can't take the megatons blast. Pretty sure I wouldn't make it either. Ah well you pays your money you take your chances.  
  
They had the menus. Wide choice of dishes, but we all went for steak. It was down as Buff Steak. This led to Buffy's "why couldn't my mother call me Joan? Whatsa Buff? Other than me?"  
  
Giles answered, which is good coz I didn't know. "Buffalo, this is a mainly Hindu country. The cow is sacred. It might be cow steak, but it'll be down as buffalo in any case.  
  
Mine arrived first. Not surprising as I'd ordered one with only minimal contact with the frying pan. Very tasty. Couldn't help myself "Mm, Very nice, I like eating Buff." She went bright red and swatted me round the head. Giles choked on his beer, which resulted in Anyanka slapping his back somewhat vigorously. Oh yeah! I've still got it. Besides it was tasty. So's she.  
  
Luckily for my chances for continued existence their steaks arrived.  
  
We all tucked in. There was enough blood in mine to keep me going on top of that nice feed I had in Tanzania. It was great to see Buffy eating. Giles was eating like a starving man while Anyanka nibbled at her food. I looked at her and she said "we ate back home with D'Hoffryn. My favourites too, he's so sweet." Giles looked a bit green at the mention of Specialitie du Masion Arashmahar style, but concentrated on his well-cooked steak.  
  
All of us were pretty knackered after all the country hopping, embassies to other dimensions, and epiphanies so we decided on an early night. But we just had to go for dessert first.  
  
The girls went off to hunt the loo. Giles and me just looked at each other. It's one of the great mysteries of life or unlife. Why do women go to the loo together? Do we men really want to know, and if we did would they tell us? I mean even Darla and Dru would go off together. Course that was just to hunt, and it meant they got two for one. But why would a Slayer and vengeance demon go together. Unless that means they are becoming real friends now. I hope so. It's so obvious Rupert does too.  
  
"So you don't recommend the cuisine of Arashmahar then mate?"  
  
Giles looked straight at me and said "Let me put it this way. It won't be hitting the Zagats guide any time soon, though I'm sure the BBC could make several new documentaries on the species on the menu. But it would have to go out late to avoid scaring the children. But Anya enjoyed it, and was touched they'd made her favourites for her, so that's all that matters really. I can get indigestion pills. She's irreplaceable."  
  
They came back and we had cakes and coffee to finish. I love café and cakes. I've eaten some of the best in Central and Eastern Europe. These didn't compete, but the company more than made up for any cardboard quality to the cakes.  
  
Nicely full, we headed back to the hotel, said goodnight to the girls, showered and crashed. We can track down the bad guys when we can keep our eyes open. Tomorrow…Freak St, the temples and palaces of Durbar Square, and the stupas, ghats and temples near Bodhnath. Right now…a well earned kip for all of us. 


	29. Erotic Carvings and Old Friends

It was a good night's kip. I must have been tired. I didn't even notice the snoring from the Watcher. Probably the same for the girls, after all we'd been through in the last few days. They were certainly quiet enough. So, either they are getting closer to being mates, or they've finally killed each other. If they had I'm pretty sure there would have been considerably more noise, and I still have supernaturally good hearing. So I'll take the optimistic view. Hope I'm right.  
  
We headed out down the main drag for some brekky. Found hoards of travellers heading for of all things the "Pumpernickel Bakery", so we followed 'em in search of good coffee for the girls and some tea for us Brits. Hey! Gotta keep up that national stereotype, don't take care of itself you know. Though I draw a line at carrying a brolly, unless it's more of a shooting stick with concealed weaponry.  
  
There was a nice garden out back, and we sat down to enjoy the early morning sunshine. This is still something of a novel experience for me, as you'll imagine. Fresh mountain air, steaming hot caffeine, cinnamon rolls, fried eggs, friends and the girl I love. Top this! I can't, but I'm gonna try.  
  
Buffy was wearing her "on the lam" woolly hat. The one she wore when we made that deal over Acathla. I love that hat. She looks adorable in it. Giles made me put that dammed fedora on again, in case we needed to do reccon. Giles and Anyanka looked like the model Action! Couple! on the front of a trekking company catalogue. They were colour co-ordinated. They were just too cute. That is a strange and worrying thing for even a re- tuned vampire to admit.  
  
Fuelled up we paid, left and headed down the winding streets. The shopkeepers were already busy. Not much of the season left, what with the monsoon coming and departure of the travellers to warmer, drier climates, and one not quite so close to the threat of flying nukes. So we had lots of cries to "come in", and look at thangka paintings, rugs, jewellery, t- shirts, statues and the curved Gurkha knives. Buffy kept being distracted by the clothes and the knives. Giles kept stopping to check out the statues. Force of habit I suppose. Anyanka nearly bought a rug. She's definitely nesting. Rupert didn't even look scared. I'm well impressed.  
  
Buffy nearly had a culture shock fit when we came across a shrine covered in someone's washing, and goats eating at the fluttering flags tied to the top. She had another one when we tried crossing the road and had to move past a slumbering cow first. God, it's good to get out of sanitised for your protection California.  
  
We got to the main square eventually, without too much shopping.  
  
It was weird. There was a big white European style palace opposite pagoda things, with more ancient brick temples with intricate carvings over the doors and windows. The hawkers had their pitch. The soldiers guarded the palace. As we walked further into the square Buffy pointed at a huge statue, of a black 6 armed figure wearing a garland of skulls trampling a corpse.  
  
Buffy looked at me and said, "didn't we kill something like that in Restfield Cemetery last November?"  
  
Giles gave a small smile and said, "I certainly hope not Buffy. We'd have to get out of here pretty fast, and you'd have about a billion people after you. That's the Bhairab, the most fearsome aspect of Shiva, trampling human ignorance. Shiva's one of most popular Hindu gods, so I hope you didn't kill him. Two gods would be a bit excessive don't you think?"  
  
Anyanka looked adoringly at him and said, "Rupie, you know everything!"  
  
He blushed, shook his head, smiled and said, "I wish.and no you don't have to grant that. No, combination of watcher training and well.in the early 70's you had to know that sort of things on the India trail to get laid." He blushed again and we went for a walk around the square.  
  
Didn't see any un-naturally big corn-feds.  
  
Buffy did get rather distracted though. She'd been looking around at the temples and statues like a kid in a sweet shop. Not sure she'd have noticed the cardboards if the tossers had come up and bit us. Which is something I definitely don't want. She kept saying, "look at that! Look at this! Wow! I can't believe I'm here!" And that perennial favourite, "Cool!"  
  
Then she looked up at the roof of one of the temples. Stopped. Her eyes got huge, her cheeks pink, her heart rate shot right up and her breathing like it did when she threw me to the floor of the crypt.  
  
I looked up to where her attention was glued. My dad would have had a heart attack if those carvings had been on the roof of the cathedral. Some of the positions the figures carved on the roof struts were busy occupied in I hadn't even tried with Buffy. OK I had with Dru, but you do need to try new things to keep the spark if you're gonna shag the same person for over a hundred years. The threesomes and foursomes depicted I hadn't played with since we escaped Darla and the Poof. OK they dumped us. But if I want to think of it that way I will. Right?  
  
Giles and Anyanka joined us, hands linked. Anyanka looked straight up, studied the carvings with interest and said, "ooh Rupie can we try that one?"  
  
He blushed, but studied it anyway.  
  
Buffy's hand took my forearm and gripped it. Her attention was fixed on the carvings but her grip was sure, and her thumb was moving slowly, stroking my skin. The combination of her caressing my arm and the sun warming it, after so long in the cold, was marvellous. I'd write a poem about it, but it'd only end up a bad version of "There's a little Yellow Idol to the North of Kathmandu." Re-tuning can't do much on the old lack of poetic talent front.  
  
Ok, breathe, move eyes away from naughty but nice carvings, enjoy the sensations, no. Slow! Remember! Bad Spike, no biscuit. She gets to make all the moves. No matter how hard it is, in any meaning of that phrase.  
  
Giles comes to our rescue.  
  
I don't know whether to hit him or kiss him. In an entirely fraternal way you'd understand. I mean.love the guy but not that way.  
  
He coughed, pinched the bridge of his nose and said, "we haven't seen anything suspicious here, we should move on to Freak St. It's south of here, if I remember correctly."  
  
So we left the bulk of the temples behind.  
  
There was a group of travellers going into a temple/palace on the corner of the square. Still need the distraction at this point so I ask teacher. I get the lecture. Bullet point being, "home of living goddess."  
  
At this Buffy stops, her shoulders slump and she glares at Giles, "Another one? Coz gotta tell ya. Been there, done that, not fun!"  
  
He smiled at her and patted her arm with the hand not busy tracing pattens on Anyanka's palm. "We're all perfectly safe Buffy. This one is a little girl who is the incarnation of Durga.the demon slayer, until she grows up."  
  
"Lucky her!" from Buffy. I took her hand at that and gave it a small squeeze. She squeezed back. Comfort accepted. Superb! But not rushing stuff, so I let her listen to dad.  
  
I missed some of his "Hindu Gods and Goddesses for beginners". Well I haven't had to kill any so never had to learn before. So attention Spike. "Durga is an aspect of Parvati, whose terrible aspect is Kali wife of our 6 armed friend over there. She is the active sexual partner with Shiva Lord of the Dance."  
  
Oops. Buffy started blushing again. I would, but I can't.  
  
In full on lecture mode Giles continued, "Shiva is the creator and destroyer, unlike Brahma the preserver. Shiva is represented by the lingam symbol you'll have noticed people anointing with milk."  
  
"Buffy had gone bright red at this point and interrupted, "the thing I thought was a stone sausage?"  
  
He nodded. She decided death by terminal embarrassment was not a good move and said in a voice higher pitched than normal, "So Freak St. Why Freak St, not very Nepaly?"  
  
Giles looked all nostalgic like at that one, and it took his mind off "gods we certainly ain't used to" wonderfully. "It's where all the hippies used to stay in the late 60's and early 70's. Great fun, pies, cheap.things that are bad and I shouldn't have.But."he trailed off wistfully.  
  
Anyanka looked at him and said, "it's ok I want to hear all of it later. I want to know everything about you." He smiled and kissed her.  
  
We walked off down a narrow rutted street leading off the square. We were clearly in hippy territory. Cheap guesthouses rubbed shoulders with restaurants offering banana pancakes and pizza.  
  
We'd got halfway down the street when a thin man with dark hair and an English accent said, "hello Ripper?"  
  
Giles looked gobsmacked. "Ethan?" 


	30. Always Phrase Your Wishes Carefully

"What, no greeting for an old mate? Ripper, I'm hurt." He actually pouted at this point.  
  
"You will be! What are you doing here? I thought you were safely in US military custody. Bugger! Of course! The Initiative! And we just handed you straight over to them." Giles said, while slapping his palm against his head repeatedly.  
  
"Rupie, don't do that, please. You might dent yourself." Anyanka turned to this Ethan bloke and glared. "You! I've heard all about you. If you even think of playing any of your little tricks on my man your entrails will be liquid before you can scream. And trust me, there will be screaming. Much screaming." She followed up this little promise with a stabbing finger gesture, that would have had me promising anything, from counting slug candles, to taking out the whole of Arashmahar, armed only with a blunt spoon. It certainly worked on Ethan. He blanched, and held his hands up in surrender.  
  
Of course! It's all come back to me now. Ethan. Demon Giles, crashing cars, getting out of the whelp's basement at long last. The sorcerer geezer Giles was after. Sure I remember something about enchanted chocolate too. I turned to Buffy and asked.  
  
That was a mistake. At the mention of the chocolate, she joined in with Anyanka in the manhandling Ethan contest. She was saying something about "very important shoes, which some people caused her to lose, because they thought tatooing her with a demon's come get me sign would be more fun." More pushing, then "cursed candy making My Mother have sex with My Watcher on the roof of a police car." She'd got her fingers round his throat by the time she was extolling the joys of "taking out on his hide, making her stab her watcher."  
  
Maybe she's spending too much time with Anyanka after all. Well Giles and me both wanted them to be friends. Least they're bonding over something.  
  
We were in the middle of the street, and quite naturally attracting some attention. That's not something we need right now. So it's Peacemaker! Spike to the rescue of all of us. Yep, know it don't seem right. Feels bleeding odd doing it, I'll tell you.  
  
Giles wasn't exactly being helpful in all this. He was watching his girls berate Ethan, with a look of what can only be described as unholy glee on his face. I know that look. I'm pretty sure I patented it - or if I didn't I bloody well should have, I've worn it enough in my time.  
  
So action time. I put a hand on each girls shoulder, and said, "Ladies, Rupert, Tosser, time to move this to a more private location, I think."  
  
Buffy pouted, "spoil my fun. Not fair. When did you become all level-headed guy?"  
  
But she and Anyanka did move back. Giles and I put a friendly arm around Ethan's shoulders, and led him to a nearby restaurant. I say friendly. If he'd tried to run he might have got away, but he wouldn't have lasted. The loss of both arms would have killed him by the time he got to the main square.  
  
We got a table at the back, and made sure Ethan got the back to the wall, unable to escape, position. I ordered some beers, took the menus and waved the waiter away. Gotta keep your priorities straight, you know.  
  
Buffy started the interrogation, with a truly adorable evil grin. "I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but you're in a talk or bleed situation."  
  
I was sitting opposite him, and flashed some fang. Didn't do it for long, not in a public restaurant, and in daylight. But everything still works, which is reassuring, including the look of fear and surprise on the bloke's face. Felt worryingly good. Not something to do too often, I think. But a bloke's gotta help his mates, right?  
  
Rupert leaned over the table, with a smile, and said. "You've met Buffy's fist before. I see you've just met Spike's fangs. Anya, here, would take great pleasure in inflicting great agony on you, for me. You know what I'll enjoy doing to you. Talking is your only option right now. Unless, that is, you want to make us all very happy."  
  
I knew I liked him for some reason.  
  
The threats worked. Ethan started talking. "I would like to point out that this is all your fault." Fists and glares got him continuing." If you hadn't just handed me over to the overgrown Action Man wanna-be." Buffy glared. Giles and I both grinned. "If you hadn't handed me over to ill- legal imprisonment I wouldn't be here. They wouldn't even let me see the British Consul. Disgraceful. No sense of humour either. It was only 1 preztel, and a little bit of magic to stop the boredom. The President survived. I completely fail to see what all the fuss was about."  
  
This bloke is fun. I like him. Wouldn't trust him an inch. But he's fun.  
  
The beer arrived. Giles said, "So you couldn't behave, and they sent you here to help their little plot then, right?"  
  
"You wound me. Not really. It was this, or a long walk in the Hindu Kush. There's no beer there. Not much of a choice really." I can certainly understand that bit of logic. The beer was nice and cold. Went down nice and smooth on a warm day. I'd have done the same.  
  
Buffy chimed in. "You expect us to believe you're a prisoner, who's being forced, against his will, to work for these bad guys? But you're all walking around and stuff!"  
  
It's a valid point.  
  
Ethan made a grimace, pointed to his chest, and said, "I don't have a choice in the matter. They put a tracker come self destruct chip right next to my heart. I misbehave, or make a run for it, the chip goes boom. No more Ethan."  
  
Gotta have sympathy with a fellow victim. Buffy looked shocked. Giles had a weird angry look on his face, like somebody was hurting something of his. Anyanka just supped her beer. She didn't have any illusions about the Initiative to lose.  
  
Ethan continued. "So you'll see, you've put me in something of a quandary. It's all your fault - which makes me feel somewhat unhelpful. I hate them, and want out, but if I help you - which hurts them - I'm dead. Not very good for me all round, is it?" At which he took a long draft of his beer. What do you say to that? I can't think of anything right now. From the silence of Buffy and Giles neither can they.  
  
Anyanka could. She put down her beer and said, "I can remove it, if you give us what Rupert wants. All the information you have. I'll know if you lie. If you lie to me there isn't any dimension too far for me to track you down, and punish you. I am very good at that. I've had a great deal of practice. I can remove it, and send you very far from here. Or you can not help us. Spike's feeling hungry I'm sure." I grinned and flashed the fangs a bit. She continued, "Or Buffy can get the refund on her Halloween outfit, out of your broken and bleeding body." It was a nice dress, if it's the one I think she's talking about. The dance when she became Buffy again was good too. "And I don't think I need to remind you, that my Rupie would love to bruise his lovely hands on your face. I like his hands as they are. You really should take the deal I'm offering."  
  
He did. Only sensible thing to do really. Bloke's a survivor. Takes one to know one.  
  
We ordered lunch. Giles, Ethan and I had a pretty good curry. Anyanka had what smelt like a wonderful pie. Buffy ordered pizza. It bore some resemblance to that staple of the Sunnydale diet, but the cheese was a bit grey, the vegetables not exactly recognisable, and Buffy didn't each much of it.  
  
The information was worth it though. The Cardboards, and their interchangeable mates, were storing their gear in a building behind a monastery, at the stupa at Bodhnath. They had enough leads, from bullying lamas, political favours called in, arm twisting Ethan into location spells, and the like, to be set to go in the next couple of days. It was a small team of 12 - which should be a piece of piss to take out. Payback. It's a nice word. I like it. Chip inflicting bastards. Set me up, threaten my friends will they. They're gonna pay. They were staying at the best hotel in town. Nice to see my taxes go to such a useful cause - well if I paid any that is. Ethan had been getting his own back by raiding the mini- bar, and ordering room service.  
  
We finished lunch. Giles and Anyanka whispered together. We paid up, left the restaurant, and walked down the road to the first dark alley we could find. Giles whispered some words into Ethan's ear, and more loudly told him to speak them to Anya. He did. He said, "I wish that the chip in my chest be removed without harming me, and that I be transported to cool my heels far away from here."  
  
She went veiny, and said, "wish granted."  
  
A chip appeared in her hand, and he disappeared into a portal. If I'd only known earlier how easy it could be...But no, I wouldn't have found what I feel for Buffy, Dawn, got retuned, got a chance to build something lasting, with the woman I love, and with friends and a family. Though it would have been bloody tempting, and with a lot less pain. Guess I better make sure the pain's worthwhile.  
  
Distraction needed. So I asked, "where'd you send him luv?"  
  
"Antarctica. It was Rupie's idea."  
  
Rupie was having a hysterical fit of the giggles, but managed to say, "well, he always rather liked penguins." We all joined him in laughing our heads off.  
  
It took awhile, but we did stop laughing, eventually. Ok it took a very long time. If I was human I might have pulled a muscle. Both Buffy and Giles were clearly at some risk of doing so. But it's so good to laugh. There hasn't been much of it in recent years. It's even better to see her doing it.  
  
I think sheer need for oxygen finally stopped Giles. Though the gleeful grin of a man 1-0 up in an ongoing game remained. Once he'd got his breath, he said, "Oh that was good. I needed that. I've still got it."  
  
"You certainly have, Rupie. In fact..." Buffy interrupted Anya, which was a shame, because there's been too much of that over recent years. But I suppose Giles might thank her for it later, if it was gonna be more juicy stuff to embarrass Rupert with. She did move the conversation onto business though. "So big plan guy, what's next. How do we stop this? It's all big with the yucky and stuff."  
  
He cleaned the glasses. Always a good sign that something's brewing up in that big, squashy, frontal lobe. I was right. He put the glasses back on, and said, "I think we need to split our forces this afternoon. It's clear we need to move quickly. Anya and I should organise the porters, and the transport out to our trekking departure point." He turned to Anyanka, and said, "your negotiating expertise will be invaluable dear. Is that ok with you?"  
  
She smiled at him, took his hand and said, "of course."  
  
Giles turned to Buffy and me. "If you two could go and check out this storage place, and destroy it, that would delay them. I wish we could use this to expose them."  
  
He really should know better. Anyanka went veiny, and said, "wish granted." Some top of the range digital camera gear appeared. She picked up the camera, handed it to Buffy, and said, "photo the evidence before you destroy it. I'll take the memory thing to Arashmahar afterwards. When we get home we'll have the evidence to destroy the nasty plotting guys, or at least stop them." Girl's good.  
  
"One question. How do we get there? Oh two. Any preferences on the means of destruction?" Well I do know a fairly impressive number.  
  
Giles produced a map. One of the little shops, you find in the third world, sold lighter fuel. We walked down to a motorbike hire shop, and got one. Sorted.  
  
Giles and Anyanka set off to bully trekking agencies. Buffy and I set off to expose and fry the bad guys. I love this. I love motorbikes. Always have. The sheer thrill of speed always does it for me. 


	31. Stupendous

The girl I love has her arms wrapped firmly around me. It's sunny. I'm not burning to death. We're shooting through the motor-rickshaws, cows, cars, and pedestrians with death wishes. Well I suppose they're believers in reincarnation, so why worry? The temples, palaces, and wonderfully scungy little shops all passed by in a blur.  
  
She rested her head on my shoulder, and watched the world go by, very fast. Neither of us had helmets. Places like this just don't use 'em. It did mean her hair caressed my face as we made turns. She'd got her hands under the fleece, on the t-shirt. They tended to wander on the straight roads. Made it bloody hard to concentrate on the road, I'll tell you. Made it bloody hard, full stop.  
  
Road, concentrate on the road. Right, left, look for a big white and gold half onion thing, with eyes painted on it, and flags streaming from the top. I can do this. I can enjoy this, and not crash the motorbike. I can, but it's bloody difficult.  
  
Cricket, baseball, Arsenal, the whelp. Ok that worked. Road concentrating Spike present and correct. It was a long ride. Well not really, it just felt like it. But in a really good way, you know?  
  
Found it. Looked just like the picture on the map. There were loads of people too. Some were pilgrims pushing big engraved prayer filled drums as they walked round the stupa. Others were families chatting, looking up at the prayer flags sending out good karma to the wind. Others were tourists, trying to get the perfect shot of the eyes, the stupa itself, and the colourful locals. It was life. It was beautiful. Those tossers aren't going to stop this, or us.  
  
Found a street kid to keep an eye on the bike for a few rupees. In the past I'd have done the same, on the old find a local to keep an eye on the transport. Big difference now is that I'll be paying, not eating.  
  
We took the camera and the lighter fluid, and started searching.  
  
Had one false start. Accidentally ended up in a monastery. Quite different to what I'm used to. But then Angelus always preferred Nunneries. Darla just said monks were boring, and a waste. This one was dark, lit only by lamps that smelt like butter. The Buddha figures flickered in the semi- dark. There were pictures of the wheel of life, fearsome Bhairab type geezers, and some statues of a graceful woman - some green, some white. The chants seemed to touch something deep in both Buffy and me. It was very tempting to stay. But we've got a job to do, and people depending on us. Even if some can't recognise that they are people.  
  
Took us about an hour to find the right place. The scents of the monastery seem to have clouded my sense of smell. Sure I would have found the stink of Finn sooner otherwise. We'd had to go by Ethan's description and good old fashioned sneaking around. But we did find it. Found it, photographed everything, then fried it.  
  
The flames were lovely. Dru always loved the flames. I had to stop her dancing into them sometimes. She used to say that one day she and grandmother would dance in the flames. She had such a lovely smile on her face when she said that. I don't think it was as much fun when it happened.  
  
  
  
Back to the now. Back to my girl. Back to mission accomplished. Spike 1 Cardboard 0. It's a nice feeling that. Call me petty if you like. I don't care. I deserve this.  
  
Now what? I know negotiating anything in countries like this can take forever. I can guess they both want some time together. We're all going to be stuck very close together for the next bit. Space is always good. Time with my lady is even better. Not going to be much time for sightseeing ever really. So carpe time. Besides we need to get away from the fire.  
  
I took a quick look at the map. Big Shiva temple down a path from the stupa. Worth taking a walk down to have a bit of a look. I showed it to Buffy. She agreed. She took my hand, and we took a walk.  
  
We didn't hurry. No need to. Besides we both look less suspicious this way. It was just nice enjoying the scene and the company. Turned out we couldn't go into the temple - not Hindus. All we could see was a huge brass bull with the biggest pair I've ever seen. Buffy took one look, blushed, and said, "one pair I can't bust, huh?" We both laughed and carried on walking.  
  
We ended up at the river. There were terraces built up beside it. We sat down to enjoy the late afternoon. On one side of the river people were bathing and washing their pots and pans. On the other a group of people had built a pile of logs. Then they put a shrouded body on it and lit the pyre. Everyone else just carried on with their business. Buffy just looked totally shocked. I've seen it before, though I hadn't realised these were burning ghats.  
  
She looked at me, and I explained. Cremation, sacred rivers, life and death as integral parts of the whole, creation and destruction - covered the lot. Nice long time it took too. But she got that. Don't think she'd thought of it all before. It was good to talk about this sort of stuff. It was good to talk about anything actually. The hygiene aspect still squicked her out. Me too. We agreed on a beer, freshly boiled tea, and not eating anywhere nearby policy. Then we watched the sun go down.  
  
One it got dark we walked back, found the kid, paid him and retrieved the bike.  
  
If it was fun riding over here, the return journey was even better. The dark combined with the potholes to make it just so much wilder. It made Buffy grip harder too - which is always good. When we shot past the Royal Palace we set off a storm of bats from the local trees. Buffy laughed. So did I. I'm pretty sure they weren't vampire bats, but the image still worked for the funny. The powerslide into the courtyard of the hotel was just classic. The broad grin on Buffy's face made it all worthwhile.  
  
We both went up to our rooms. There was a note from Giles and Anya saying they'd got everything arranged. We'd be off tomorrow, and they'd gone out to dinner, and would see us later, back in the rooms. Guess it'll be an early start. So we followed suit. We found a nice little place called KC's. Buffy had pasta, I had barely cooked steak, and we talked, talked, and just enjoyed being together, with no interruptions, or anyone else. It was wonderful, and we took our time.  
  
When we got back to the hotel I opened Giles and my room, and she followed so we could discuss the plans for tomorrow. No chance of that. They were both sound asleep. Anyanka snug in Giles arms, draped across his chest like an Anya Blanket.  
  
We tip-toed out of the room. I don't think a nuclear blast would have woken them, but we were being considerate. Buffy opened up her room and beckoned me in. I said, "it's ok pet. I'll go and see if they have a spare room." Had to offer. Don't want to, but I have to do the gentlemanly thing, even if it kills me.  
  
She smiled, shook her head, and said, "No point wasting money. Anya'd go all vengeancy on us for that. It's twin beds. I don't think she'll be using hers. You can. It's cool. You can slip in there and get some sweats while I change. You've seen her before, and you're roomies with Giles anyway." That crack about my having seen all of Anyanka would have torn me to the quick, if she hadn't had a kind "I'm joking" expression on her face. I love that. So I did, and we both crashed. Didn't sleep much. Don't know if she did. Breathing could have been anything. Tried to give her space. Been trying. Seems to be working. 


	32. Riders on the Storm

Next morning we had a very early breakfast with two people, one of which was still pink with embarrassment, from being walked in on. We went back to our original rooms long enough for the last shower in possibly a long time.  
  
Just as we came back from breakfast Anyanka and Giles Sherpas arrived, in a mini-bus outside the hotel. Anyanka settled up the hotel bill, while Buffy, Giles, and I loaded up the bus with our stuff.  
  
By-by Kathmandu.  
  
Hello really bad narrow roads; populated by homicidal and suicidal maniacs. I know plenty of those, and these drivers were. Ours had a small statue of Shiva on the dashboard. Giles told us that if we crashed the statue would make sure we got instantaneous rebirth. There were loads of roadside shrines for buses before us that hadn't made it. The two together did not exactly make for a great deal of reassurance.  
  
The choice of music was even worse - the greatest hits of Bollywood. I have very sensitive ears, so ouch. Giles was in music loving pain. Buffy was singing along. I have to take her music appreciation in hand. Anyanka patted Giles, then rummaged in his bags. After a few minutes she found some bootleg tapes, he must have picked up yesterday. She handed them to Giles, and after some negotiations, the music changed.  
  
It was The Doors "Riders on the Storm" - much better.  
  
It was a long drive. We had to be fair, so there was lots more ear agony, interspersed with rock classics like "Space Truckin" and more Deepest Purple. The Van Morrison "Moondance" gave me enough dreams/memories to while away the hours. Having Buffy fall asleep on my shoulder only helped that. Anya and Giles played spot the mountains as we got higher.  
  
I thought I'd seen mountains. I've travelled enough after all. I was wrong. I've munched skiers and mulled wine in the Alps. I've driven through mountains, and past volcanos in South America. I've seen foothills compared to these. What I thought was a bright white cloud over a mountain turned out, miles down the road, to be a bloody huge, white, mountain soaring over a foothill.  
  
We stopped a few times to change drivers, fill up with petrol, food, drinks and the necessary. We must have driven for 48 hours. My legs were cramping by the time we got to the end of the road - literally.  
  
We unpacked everything. The guides sorted everything into piles. Food, tents, supplies. Most of it went into big baskets to be carried by some guys in flip-flops that appeared from no-where. But since the Sherpa blokes seemed to know 'em, and what they were doing, I didn't worry. All we had to carry was some waterproofs, water, some nibbles, gloves, hat, and some of the weapons.  
  
We started off.  
  
The trail went on, and on, and on. The plus side was walking through the flowers with my lady. The downside was the up, down, up, down. But then, I'm used to that. It was a bloody long walk though, and since it was the first day we tried to stay with the guides.  
  
We failed. Well Buffy and I are super-strong, it's not our fault. Fortunately we'd got good directions from the guide, and didn't have to wait more than a couple of hours before the tents arrived with the porters.  
  
"Spike, aren't you supposed to get all boy scouty, and put up the tent?"  
  
"Pet, I predate the boy scouts."  
  
The Sherpas put the tent up. I was quite happy at that too. I've never had to put one up before, and I'm not starting now. If I needed one before I just ate the occupants. It's a heck of a lot easier than messing about with poles and ropes. There's far more entertaining things to do with those.  
  
We'd decided during the drive that Giles and Anya would have one tent, and Buffy and me the other. Only seemed sensible, and everyone was happy, even if this isn't going to be easy.  
  
Anyanka and Giles produced a cool-box from among the unpacked supplies, with some buffalo goodness in it for me. It's good to have friends. One curry and some beers later we all crashed.  
  
Next morning I woke with my lady, both of us in layers of clothes and thick sleeping bags. "It's all icy inside the tent. Isn't it supposed to be like the other way round? I mean, not science girl here but something's wrong with this picture." Buffy pouted. I love that pout.  
  
"Must be from your breathing pet, all nice and warm hitting the nasty cold tent." Hey I watch the Discovery Channel, ok, only while waiting for Passions and Jerry Springer to come on, but I do watch it.  
  
Her eyes rolled to amp up the pout. "Not all my fault. You breathe too."  
  
"Just to talk luv. Besides I'm all room, or tent, temperature, no freezing possible from my breath." I sometimes wish it were otherwise, but if wishes were horses beggers would ride, and a bloke's gotta make do with the cards he's got. I've got better cards than I thought I'd ever have, so I can't really complain, can I.  
  
More poutage, as she'd put it. "You're certainly not much of a hot water bottle."  
  
Ouch. Not much I can do with that one. Still room temp. Still dead, still drink blood. If the Mother couldn't fix that there's bugger all which can I reckon.  
  
Must have shown in my face how much that hurt. Then again most things show in my face. I've got to stop playing poker, I'm crap at it for that very reason, and cheating might be harder in future, now I'm all re-tuned an all.  
  
She tried. "Not of course that I need another hot water bottle, not with the nice water bottle, all full of nice hot water, keeping my toes all toasty. And not that I could get all snuggly with Anya and her sleeping bag, like I can with you. Not since we're all straight girls together, and she loves my watcher, not you, and neither of us is interested each other that way. Not that there's anything wrong with being all gay and stuff, and I'm babbling, and you're supposed to stop me when I'm babbling!"  
  
It worked; she brought a smile to my face. I sat up out of my sleeping bag, smiled at her and said, "but you're cute babbling. I'll let you get changed. I laced my boots up, and still in the fleeces and gear I'd slept in, headed out into the dawn, for a smoke.  
  
My lighter was out of fuel.  
  
The mountains were such an incredible sight I was almost tempted to forgo a fag just to watch them. We were so high up it was so clear it felt like you could reach over and touch each ridge and sharp summit. In the early light everything was almost painfully bright. The snow on the nearby peaks was blinding, especially to my eyes, which have lived in darkness for over a century.  
  
But I desperately needed a fag. I don't speak the local lingo, but the international language of smokers worked fine. I got a light. The boys and I smoked up a storm, while they made the chapattis. Well, can't exactly smoke in the tent, can I? Don't want to add smoky to icy.  
  
After a nice brekky of eggs and chapattis for everyone, and one of the containers from the cool-box for me, we set off.  
  
I'm pretty sure the sherpas hate me and Buffy. Giles and Anya would probably win the "who gets into camp first competition" in any other circumstances, but they both move at fast westerner levels. Buffy and I beat the sherpas into each meal stop, on top of the camp thing. For blokes used to a couple of hours to get their stuff done, and chat amongst themselves, it's gotta be hard to be overtaken by the little blonde and the Brit. I reckon even the porter blokes in flip-flops usually overtake the togged up westerners. For the top of the range cooks and guides Anya sorted us with it's just gotta rankle. They're good blokes though, always smiling, singing, and smoking. Gotta love 'em - especially the hot tea, and bowl of warm water to wash with, they brought us in the morning, even if we are high above river level now. Thank goodness they gave us good directions. When we got confused we waited, and talked, until they caught us up. We only had a few minor spats over the directions - we're making progress.  
  
It was a day of solid walking up. At least that was better than the first day of up, down, up, down, up, up, up, down, down, up, followed by a recurring up motif, with a side order of down. I don't think this country has flat bits, none that my boots have come across anyway. But since that up and down's been with her, I don't care. I love this. I love the freshness in the air, and the clean start we've been able to make. A few blisters, that heal almost as fast as they form, are no cost at all in comparison.  
  
We did stop at one point for a long time. The trail was almost non-existent at that point, and clearly saw very few people or yaks. That wasn't the reason we stopped though. Buffy spotted some hairs and blood caught on sharp edge of a rock. It smelt funny; not something I've come across before. She examined it, then looked at me and said, "my spider-sense's tingling."  
  
"Huh?" She explained. Well I do have my limits and superhero comics are one of them. I nearly went off my head from boredom at the Whelp's, but I didn't resort to reading those. Might have been suicidal, but the William in me does have limits when it comes to reading material.  
  
Since it'd sparked my lady's spider sense we waited for the experts. We waited a fair time, but at least it cheered up the poor Sherpas, at seeing the order into camp return to a normal one.  
  
Giles and Anyanka walked up to us, hand in hand, and puffing slightly in the thin air. They both drank some water from their bottles, then took a look. Anyanka sniffed it. Almost simultaneously they said, "yeti."  
  
Buffy's jaw dropped. "Yetis? I have to kill yetis? They're real? Abominable snowmen...snowpersons? But there's not so much snow? Confused Buffy here."  
  
Giles smiled. "Yetis are real, but harmless, no need to kill them at all. In fact it's always be something of a dream of mine..."  
  
"So I'm guessing from this here that they're not all snowmany. Inquiring Slayers wanna know."  
  
Anyanka answered. "7 feet tall, reddish brown hair, bipedal, mountain dwelling, shy, but usually friendly to other peaceful demons. They have some language. I did a wish for one in the twenties, and her mate ended up as a pelt in a monastery near here, I think."  
  
Research! Giles! interest was piqued. "Explains why the pelt was so low down. I'm surprised though to see this so low down."  
  
Buffy stared at him. "We're so far above the clouds that the mountains sticking out from them are huge! This is low down? How high are we going?"  
  
"Over a 21,000 ft pass Buffy. We're only at 17,000 ft here. Give or take a few feet, and a lot of breath. Yetis don't usually come down below 19,000 ft, unless they're frightened of something. "  
  
"Or hunting that something, Rupie."  
  
"Quite right dear. Or hunting what frightened them. Like many creatures they will defend themselves fiercely if attacked. So please don't attack."  
  
"Ok, no attacky Buffy present and correct. Self-defendy Buffy reserving her rights."  
  
"Quite right too, luv. But it'd be interesting to see one, wouldn't it?"  
  
She smiled at me and said, "oh yes."  
  
We all walked together after the Sherpas. Giles and I commiserated with each other over almost certainly missing the World Cup. The girls had an in- depth discussion on the perfect shoe. Well, Buffy's got bugger all interest in Becks foot, and who should play on the left in midfield, and I'm perfectly happy with one pair of boots, so it's all to the good for both of us to have somebody to talk to about footy and shoes who cares.  
  
I think our all arriving at an approved time made the boys day. They fussed over us; sat us down on camp stools with hot, sweet tea, and some apples. Our tents were already up, and they were cooking dahl bhat and momos for dinner.  
  
It was a good night, lots of good talking among the four of us. Lots of singing from the boys, followed by some dancing by candle and torchlight. We all joined in, and had a bloody wonderful time. We must have looked like right idiots all dressed up in fleeces, thick gloves, and woolly hats, but who cares when you're just having fun with the girl you love, and some great mates. So it was a late night for all of us.  
  
I was finally getting some sleep - well you try sleeping with even a sleeping bagged Buffy leant right up against you - when there was a massive crashing noise. It was rapidly followed by the sound of cloth tearing, metal poles cracking, and giggling - a lot of giggling. This was followed by Anyanka's voice. "Rupie, we brought down the tent!"  
  
Turned out Buffy wasn't asleep either. She started giggling. Her head emerged from the depths of the sleeping bag. She took one look at me, said, "they brought the tent down," and we both lost it.  
  
Her face was inches away from mine. As we both laughed ourselves silly we twisted closer to each other in our sleeping bags. We'd both come part way out of the bags with laughing so much.  
  
Giles voice sounded out clearly to both our supernatural ears. There was some pretty impressive swearing going on, and the sound of more tearing fabric.  
  
I said, "we should help them."  
  
She looked into my eyes, and said, "we should. Helpage would totally be of the good."  
  
"And we're the good guys. Right? 'S what we do."  
  
"Slayer and Re-tuned Guy! Chosen to save those that bring down the house. Nowhere too far, no rubble too icky." At the word rubble, her fingers started stroking my hair.  
  
Her on the lam hat meant that only half her hair was free and accessible, but it still felt like the finest damask between my fingers. "Of course they're probably naked in there, and wouldn't be too keen on us pulling 'em straight out of there. Bit embarrassing, and all that."  
  
Her fingers had wandered on to playing with my ear lobe. "And we're the good guys. We shouldn't do that. That would be, like, totally of the bad. Should we?"  
  
My fingers had strayed from the silk of her hair, to the satin of her neck. The skin that runs from behind her ear down to her collarbone is so gloriously sensitive. I was barely touching her there, just running my fingers across the fine hairs, yet we were both melting. It was bloody hard but I just managed to choke out, "and we can't be bad, can we luv?"  
  
She was almost purring. "Maybe a little bad, in a good cause, like giving them some time to get dressed." Then she kissed me.  
  
I kissed her back.  
  
Her fingers pressed me closer. My fingers stoked her face, dancing across her closed eyelids, her adorable nose, her cheekbones, and her soft hair. I drowned in her kiss, but this time we're both coming back for air, so we can do it again.  
  
In separate arctic down sleeping bags, multiple layers of fleece, and clothing kissing was about all we could do, if we didn't want to follow Giles and Anyanka's lead in tent destroying, and embarrassing ourselves in front of the Sherpas. It was enough though, almost, for now. 


	33. Repairs

We got out of the tent eventually. Had to help Giles and Anyanka out of the tent they'd trashed. Someone had to - the porters were far too busy having hysterical giggles over the latest antics of the mad westerners. By the time we've finished this little expedition I reckon our Sherpas will definitely win the 'who had the nuttiest sahibs and memsahibs competition'. I expect Anyanka'll ask for a discount on that basis when we get back to Kathmandu.  
  
By the time we got out of our tent, Giles and Anyanka were at least dressed, and she was halfway out of the totalled tent. I let Buffy pull her the rest of the way - discretion being both the better half of valour and, when you've slept with the lady in question and are in the company of the love of your un-life, by far the best way to stay un-dusty.  
  
I let Buffy help the vengeance demon untwist her clothes, while I forced the jammed tent zip to let Giles get out. The tent poles had broken, and the half-in half-out guy-ropes - probably worsened by Giles and Anyanka's attempts to get dressed and out - had turned the tent into a somewhat torn fabric prison. I managed to untangle it enough for Giles to crawl out. He looked at me, blushed, and said, "Say nothing."  
  
I raised an eyebrow and bit down on a chuckle. "Me? Now, Giles, would I do that?"  
  
"In a non-existent heartbeat, and we both know it, tosser."  
  
Buffy grinned at us. "Or me? Condemn my Watcher and my friend for destructo- sex that brings down tents? Because that's 'wrong'? No, not anymore. Adult- Buffy here, and it's not like you...sorry...it's just." She looked at me, and we both broke down into a fit of giggles.  
  
Giles snorted, and went over to talk to the Sherpas.  
  
Anyanka looked at the tent, and started railing against sub-standard tent construction, and damage deposits versus compensation claims for trauma.  
  
Giles came back with the Sherpas, hammers, heavy-duty duct tape, and canvas needles and thread. They disassembled the tent, ropes, and the broken poles. The boys took the fabric to the cook tent and the bigger lanterns, where they sewed up the rips in the torn tent. The big nail things that had anchored the tent to the mountain were badly bent, but not broken. Buffy and I straightened them. Anyanka played with duct-taping the poles, but I heard her whisper to Giles that he should wish for the poles to be intact, which he did.  
  
I said. "So, Rupes. We've got much longer to walk, I take it, since we're fixing the tent."  
  
"After we top out from the pass, it should be only one long descent - where we'll leave the Sherpas - followed by a long ascent up to the snow-line. The tent is a back-up measure in case we can't find the entrance. But we should be near the closest tunnel to Shambala, and it shouldn't be too difficult - I hope.  
  
We will come across yetis - they are friendly, and live mainly in the tunnels that lead to Shambala. They protect it and the lamas that dwell there, so please don't kill any, Buffy."  
  
"Check, no kill yetis."  
  
Giles nodded, and continued in full lecture mode. "Some of the tunnels are hundreds of miles long, which is why yeti sightings have been made in many locations across the Himalayas. The tunnels are well warded with invisibility and no-notice spells by the lamas. That's why all the expeditions have had so little success in finding any yetis.  
  
"So, we've got a 'hundreds of miles' trot through tunnels to go then?" Someone has to ask the important questions, and nobody else was volunteering.  
  
"No, from this tunnel entrance to Shambala, it should be maybe twenty to thirty miles. It passes under the mountain to the hidden valley." Giles said.  
  
"How'd they keep a whole valley secret, mate? Twenty-first Century, spy-in- the-sky and all that; not to mention that we must be pretty close to the Chinese border here. From the Great Game of my youth, to the CIA, KGB, Chinese occupation of Tibet and all that, how come they all missed a whole valley?"  
  
Anyanka laughed, "Spike, you know how. The same way that a demon mayor eating a graduating class, dragons flying through the air, and vampires and demons at the Seven-Eleven are ignored. People don't want to know, and even if they do, glamours, masking spells, and no-notice wards do wonders to make sure they don't."  
  
Giles smiled at her. "Quite right, dear. Shambala has some of the strongest wards and concealment spells in the world. Even invading armies and satellites can't see it, so they don't go in - which is good for all of us, and the world.  
  
"So what is Shambala? Super good-vibey place? The anti-Hellmouth?" Buffy asked.  
  
"In your own totally unique way you got it exactly right, Buffy. It is the complete antithesis to Sunnydale, and as such it's absolutely vital we save it, and its guardians. Its destruction would potentially disastrously disrupt the balance between good and evil.  
  
Shambala attracts true seekers - those who wish to learn the truth, those who wish to love and serve others and the World, and to protect life. It attracts the pure of heart..." Giles continued.  
  
"Well, that's me ruled out." Shame, it sounds interesting, but I don't meet the entry requirements.  
  
Giles looked at me and smiled ruefully. "Me too. All of us, I'd suspect - we're none of us perfect. But we do have the Slayer with us, and that's a powerful force on the side of light. We'll have to hope that's enough."  
  
"Even with two demons along, Rupie? I don't want to leave you! Who else would stop you getting into trouble and hurting yourself, which is a very bad habit you have, that I don't like very much." Anyanka said, the pain evident in her voice.  
  
"Me, and you, and Spike, whether he wants to or not." Buffy stated firmly.  
  
"Hey, I want. Much against my own better judgement, I admit. But someone's got to make sure you stay in one piece for my girls." Glares all around, so I continued, "Besides, who else have I got in Sunnydale to talk about the footy with and cadge a decent scotch from?"  
  
Buffy stood up straight in General Mode. "No scotch - either of you! You both get all crotchety and sad and stuff, and that's so not of the good. It's all not in the vibe of me - The Chosen One off to save Shambala, with my two very dear demons, and my very wonderful, very human Watcher - who I know I don't deserve..."  
  
"Buffy. Of course you do." Rupert smiled at her.  
  
"Hey, mid-rant here. Was just getting all inspired and stuff! They want the powerful force for good - they get all four of us. It's a package deal."  
  
"A gift with purchase," Anyanka grinned.  
  
"Too bloody right, pet."  
  
Buffy gave her dazzling smile, "Besides, Spike's re-tuned, Anya's helping us stop genocide-y badness, and we've all saved the world how many times now? We qualify with big credits."  
  
I said, "Sorted."  
  
Then the Sherpas came back with a repaired tent, and they took the bits we'd fixed and put it back up. They took one look at the culprits and burst out laughing again. Giles snorted. Anyanka threatened them with penalty clauses for supplying inferior equipment. We went back to our nice cold tent and comfy sleeping bags, and fell asleep cuddled up together for warmth, or something very similar.  
  
We got more eggs, chapattis, and hot, sweet tea for brekky.  
  
The four of us left before the porters, so we could talk over what to look for in finding the tunnels. Then we set off to get closer to the high pass to the valley below.  
  
We hadn't got that far up the slope, when we came across a yeti in the very large, very hairy, wounded and weeping flesh. It was covered in what looked like bullet holes, and blood matted much of its hair.  
  
I gazed up about a foot into its eyes. There was too much hair to tell whether the tears were coming from a male or a female, but the yeti definitely wasn't an 'it'. There was someone in there, and they were in pain, a lot of pain. And from the anguish in the eyes not just physical pain either.  
  
Anyanka said something in a language even I didn't understand, and got a long reply. By the end, she looked furious and desperately sad all at same time. She turned to us and said, "Men in black took his baby son, scalped his mate, and hurt him. They killed some while defending their daughter, but not enough to save the child. He's been tracking them, but he's losing so much blood; he's weak and can't follow the trail much longer. From the description; it's Riley and his men - they did this." 


	34. Rescue

Non p.c. language warning. This chapter may prove upsetting to any Riley fans. **************************************************************************** *****************  
  
  
  
  
  
"I know what Riley's been doing, and that it's bad. But I don't get it, why would he do anything so horrible? He must know that the yetis are good, mustn't he?" Buffy sniffed.  
  
I put a comforting hand on her shoulder and bit my tongue, with great difficulty, but there are first times for everything - my perspective on Agent Mengele and his merry band of torturers being somewhat different to what she wanted to hear at that point.  
  
Giles rubbed the bridge of his nose, hard, and said, "They are good." He sighed, and continued, "That's probably why the Initiative wanted the child. Yetis are very resilient; that's why they are so useful as guardians to Shambala. The way to kill them is to scalp them. That's why there are some scalps and whole pelts in some of the monasteries, and no other body parts - other injuries they can eventually regenerate and heal from, hopefully even multiple gunshot wounds. We'll have to speed up the process with some healing magic and painkillers, if we're going to catch the culprits."  
  
"So this poor yeti'll be ok, Giles?" Buffy said with some relief.  
  
"Eventually. But the child might not be. Yeti-lore is a specialised area of study within the Council, and we can't know if the information on how to kill the guards has been passed on to the Initiative forces, though the scalping of the mate indicates it has been. But even with that information, can you imagine what the forces that created Adam could do with a regenerative live being? What a soldier that would make. It's not surprising they want a subject to experiment on."  
  
"Speaking as an 'experiment', I vote for getting the kid. Been there, wouldn't inflict it on anyone, let alone a kiddie." I said.  
  
Giles nodded. "Agreed. But we've got to fix this chap up first, and we have to send the Sherpas back to camp. I'm going to have to Lethe's Bramble them anyway at the end of the trip, so they don't remember where we've been, but in the meantime, we can't have them seeing a yeti." He turned and said, "Buffy, you're the fastest. Could you run back to camp and tell them to put the tents back up, and that we've changed our mind? We're staying here for the moment, and we'll just do an acclimatisation walk today. It's what we should do anyway, so they won't be surprised. And if you can bring the medical box back, we can patch this poor chap up. I'll try to get some more information on where they've gone while you're away."  
  
She swallowed hard, nodded, and ran back along the trail.  
  
Giles asked Anyanka, "Can you see if he knows anymore about where they went, or anything else he can tell us?"  
  
She nodded, and knelt down to talk to the yeti.  
  
Giles looked me in the eyes and said, "Can you tell where they went? There must have been some considerable blood from the scalping."  
  
"Hey, not a bloodhound here, mate. But, I'll give it a go. Poor bugger." I took a good long sniff, and found a scent trail leading down the mountain towards the river. I moved on towards the edge of the mountain so I could see better. I'm a bit long sighted, which even vamping didn't sort - hurts a bit when I read, but bloody useful for spotting prey at a considerable distance. Sure enough, I could see four black dots moving slowly toward a bigger helicopter-shaped blob.  
  
I told Giles and Anyanka. "They've got a chopper down there, and I don't reckon even Buffy and I could get down there in time to stop 'em getting away with the kiddiewink."  
  
Giles said, "Bugger. Makes sense. It's too high up here for them to take- off safely."  
  
I said, as it was worth a try, "You're not able to teleport here, right, Anyanka?"  
  
Anyanka snorted. "No, I can't. But I can grant wishes - exploding wishes."  
  
"Sorted. Anyanka, I wish that the helicopter parked down by the river explodes."  
  
Giles spluttered, "The pilots, we can't, or we shouldn't. We should find another way."  
  
Anyanka turned veiny and said, "You know as well as I do that there isn't another way, Rupert. Wish granted, Spike."  
  
I heard the satisfying sound of explosions, and some very faint, but still very pleasant, screams in the distance.  
  
"Anya, Spike, yes, that might have been necessary, at some point. We still should have discussed the alternatives first," Giles said coldly.  
  
"It's why you sent Buffy back to camp rather than me though, isn't it? Because we're in a war here, and there's going to be casualties who aren't us, and she's still not ready to take that stain on her soul. But all of us - we've already got them. And don't be such a prat, we know you can take the hard decisions too. You just wanted the obligatory breast-beating first. Too late, mate. Done it for you, and you know you're grateful for that." I said.  
  
"You might indulge me first, you tosser. Token protests help me sleep at night."  
  
"Oh, you don't need those; I can make sure you sleep well. Except when the tent collapses, of course." Anyanka smiled at Giles.  
  
He looked at her. "We will be discussing this later, away from prying vampires. But speaking of prying vampires, Spike, you're right. It is why I sent Buffy. You realise she won't like it."  
  
"Too bloody right I do. But if she wants to take it out on me, she can. Won't be the first time or the last, but if it makes it easier on her, I'll do anything. But we haven't got forever. There's still four soldiers down there, and hopefully the kid too."  
  
Anyanka got a truly wicked gleam in her eyes - a right nice picture it made, warmed the cockles of my heart something rotten. She knelt back down by the yeti, and murmured something in the yeti language. He'd come round again, and looked stronger, presumably fortified by the rest. He said another lot of words, which finished by Anyanka turning veiny and saying, "Wish granted."  
  
She turned to me, and said, "It's done. The child is safe. The culprits have been punished and will never do it again. Go fetch the child. I'll wait for Buffy."  
  
Giles said, "What did you do?"  
  
She snapped, "My job, Giles. My job. I'm a vengeance demon, and this was true justice. Hallie's looking after my clients. I couldn't turn this down - she'd kill me. He and his child both needed justice. I'll stay with my client, and mend him when Buffy comes back with the medical kit. Go and fetch the child. We can discuss ethics later, if it'll make you feel better. Oh, take the camera. You might need the pictures for evidence of illegal invasions of other people's countries."  
  
She dug in her daypac and handed the camera to me, and went, "Go on, shoo, he needs his child."  
  
I tilted my head and raised an eyebrow at Giles, who breathed out sharpish, and we headed off down the trail.  
  
I said, "What did he wish for?"  
  
Giles puffed out his reply as his mortal lungs struggled with the thin air and brisk pace. "I don't speak much yeti... something about black hearts and rot... then... who had my baby... destroy slowly by... greatest pleasure."  
  
"Sounds entertaining. Buffy's gonna hate it. She's going to kill me. Who else is she going to blame? Mind you, at least she won't have to see it. Sorry, carry on puffing there, mate."  
  
"Pillock."  
  
"Tosser."  
  
I let him keep his breath for the knee-killing descent down the mountain. It hurt my knees, and I could feel them healing even as they suffered. Poor old Rupert - it was almost a good thing that it looked like he and Anyanka had a night of ethics discussion booked - I doubt that his knees'd be up to ought else tonight.  
  
As we got closer to the river, and much lower down, he got more oxygen into his lungs, and so more able to give me grief. "You really should have discussed it with me first."  
  
"I know, mate. But it's easier this way, innit? You get to hate me, not yourself, and you know we had to do it. You'd have just angsted about it, and we'd still have had to do the same. They couldn't have been allowed to get away with the kid. If they had, they'd only be back with more force. This way, we take some piccies, they realise there's something here they shouldn't mess with, and Hairy up there gets his kid back, even if we can't bring his mate back to life - can we?"  
  
"Anya can't grant wishes to bring people back from death. Apparently it's another one of the rules. She told me in Kathmandu when we discussed them, and her job."  
  
"So, gonna make her life hell for doing her job?" Demon solidarity - I needed to know.  
  
He replied, "I know, or I think I know, that I should. But, in this case... I hate this. I know you're both right, and I know I am too. I'd rather not think about it, but I know if I'm going to have a relationship with a Vengeance Demon, or Justice Demon, whatever, I have to think about it. It's hard. I'm a Watcher, I'm not supposed to do this. I'm not supposed to have this, but I need it. I need her. I've killed in the course of the fight. How can I condemn her, or you, for this? They did have to be stopped, permanently. But was whatever she did excessive? It didn't give her pleasure to do this. I know that. I don't know if I could live with it if it had. But I need to think about all this."  
  
"We're in a war, right?" I said.  
  
"Yes, of course we are, you pillock."  
  
"And if we were, say, the SAS doing a bit of Bin-Laden hunting in caves in Afghanistan, and Anya and me used a nice grenade launcher down some caves which resulted in the enemy turning into kibble and bits. You wouldn't suggest that we used a pistol instead, and take 'em out one at a time, and run the risk of losing the chief towel-head as a result." Hey, I have been known to watch CNN - very occasionally.  
  
He glared at me, and said, "Point taken. I do know this, tosser."  
  
"You're welcome, wanker. Just reminding you, and practising for Buffy."  
  
"Quite understandable. I'll talk to her too, later. Let's get this done, shall we."  
  
We'd got close to the first soldier. I handed Giles the camera, and he took some photos before we touched the git, and possibly had to do any damage to the evidence. I put on some vamp speed but didn't need to spring, as I couldn't hear any human heartbeats and could smell the stench of death. I beckoned Giles and he joined me.  
  
They'd got very close to the river, and being much further down, the bleakness of the high mountain ridges had turned to the beauty of alpine flowers and greenery. The clean sweet air I'd taken in to talk higher up, and which I'd enjoyed, turned to rot here down in the valley. I stopped breathing. I'm lucky - it's optional for me unless I want to talk. Giles wasn't so lucky.  
  
Three of the soldiers had rotted as they stood. They were black, green, yellow and oozing, as if they'd been dead way longer than they should have been.  
  
Giles blanched, and swallowed hard to avoid vomiting.  
  
I grimaced, and pulled off the dog-tags, and the heads followed, rolling off the necks. It wasn't the pleasantest of jobs, but I needed to see if one of them was Finn - and they were all overgrown lumps with unrecognisable features. Some considerable ooze later, I got all three of the rotted soldiers' tags, and none of them were Fish-boy, though they were all very smelly.  
  
I wiped off the tags on the grass, and gave them to Giles, who put them in a plastic bag in his daypac. Then we moved to the fourth body, which was ahead of the others.  
  
There was a big rucksack a little away from the body, and there was a faint heartbeat in it. I ran over and pulled the sac open, and found a bound, battered, incredibly hairy, but alive baby yeti. His eyes begged me to untie him, so I did. I shouted to Giles, "Result, mate. One baby yeti, in one piece."  
  
Giles smiled grimly. "One good thing." He came over and picked up the hairy baby, which clung onto Giles' fleece like he was never going to let go. It was a good job Anyanka wasn't there, or he'd be doomed to imminent daddyhood.  
  
We stood and looked towards what must be Riley Finn. I looked closer and saw fat, black wriggling things all over the body. "Mate, what's that?"  
  
Giles moved closer, and some of the things moved slightly in his direction - causing him to move back sharpish. He swallowed hard and said, "Leeches. He's covered in leeches. That's horrible."  
  
"Fitting really. At least he died doing what he enjoyed the most - getting a suck- job."  
  
"Spike! That's hardly appropriate, even if it is accurate. Not so good for you though. They're attracted to body heat. You don't have any. You'll have to check it's him. Get the tags. Check the pockets for any papers and take a picture."  
  
I am paying off karma at a Michael Schumacher rate of speed, and our holiday photos are very different to most peoples.  
  
But I didn't have a choice. I lit up in case any of the fat, plum-sized, swollen, disgusting things decided to break professional solidarity and needed burning off. I got the tags off easy enough, but had to burn off a couple of the more in the way leeches to get at the pockets, which did contain some papers in a plastic pouch.  
  
I handed the pouch to Giles, and his little friend, and left him trying to retrieve it from the now somewhat feisty little chap, as I went towards the still burning helicopter. I took some rather good shots - very 'Apocalypse Now' - all it needed was a bit of Wagner as a soundtrack.  
  
When I got back, Giles must have got the pouch back in his daypack, and had the contents of the rucksack out on the grass. He looked at me, and said sadly, "They were going to experiment on this little chap, ahead of a full scale assault on Shambala. They wanted to test their weaponry first in a test attack. We need to get back up there and warn them, though I think we've put an almighty spanner in the works. We can't leave the bodies here though. I wasn't overly fond of the boy, even if he did help us sometimes. I hated his treatment of Buffy and certainly loathed his work here, but I don't feel comfortable just abandoning them like this."  
  
"Tempting though, innit?"  
  
"Yes, but I know Buffy wouldn't be happy if we left them lying here for the vultures - even if the Tibetans north of here use sky burial."  
  
"I could un-live with leaving them to be pecked away by birdies. Culturally appropriate and all."  
  
"Hindu country, Spike. We have a flaming helicopter as a pyre. I'll say a few words, for Buffy's sake, if no-one else. You move them."  
  
"For Buffy, ok." The things I do for love.  
  
I shifted 'em, which was deeply unpleasant, and Giles said a few words even Whitebread would have approved off. I stood nice and quiet while Giles did it. Then I went for a quick and bloody freezing dip in the river to get rid of the ooze.  
  
Giles tried to give me the baby yeti, as it was my turn, when we turned back up the trail, but he screamed to be away from cold, dead me, and back to warm, cosy, live Giles.  
  
Walking back up the mountain was harder than coming down on Giles' live lungs, especially with the additional weight of his little friend, so I took his daypac in addition to mine, and we walked in silence for the most part.  
  
I know Giles, and he blames himself for everything, even Buffy's boy-toy turning back to the dark side. I have my faults, but I'm not a hypocrite, and can't claim to mourn the death of Mr Plastic Stake and his torturing mates. I tried to point that out, and got a snort for my pains, so I shut up. Hey, there's a first time for everything.  
  
We got back to the girls and their patient eventually, and with Giles still breathing, even if he did look almost as dead as I am.  
  
Buffy stood up and tapped her foot. "You left without me! You are both so in trouble!"  
  
Then she saw the baby yeti now asleep, but still clutching Giles fleece, and she and Anyanka both went, "Oh, he's so cute! You found him!"  
  
The father yeti made a loud noise, and the baby woke, dropped his death grip on Giles, and scampered over to Daddy's waiting bandaged arms. The father yeti's tears fell into the baby's hair as he rocked his child, talking to him all the time. 


	35. Ice and Warmth

All four of us watched the father and child for some time, before Daddy Yeti looked up and spoke again. Anyanka listened hard, nodded several times, talked herself, and nodded while he talked. Then he stumbled to his hairy feet, bowed his head to all of us and turned and limped back up the trail to the top of the mountain.  
  
We looked at each other and started back to camp. I said, "Anyanka, want to share what Hairy Boy said with the rest of the class."  
  
She nodded and said, "He thanked us all. He also said the yetis won't hurt us or block our way to Shambala. I told him who and what we all were while you were retrieving his child, and why we were here. He trusts us enough now to allow us through the tunnels."  
  
"Which is so of the good, "said Buffy.  
  
Giles, having got his breath back on the downhill trail, said, "What's the catch? You don't look happy."  
  
She replied, "There was a major landslide a month ago. The route we were going to use is gone. To get to the main trail we'll have to take the short cut the yetis use."  
  
"What's the bad?" Buffy asked, "Short cuts are of the good, right? Less walkiness."  
  
"It's over the ice-fall to the main ridge. Ice-falls are notoriously dangerous. I've flattened many mountaineers in them over the years. Girlfriends scorned for giant ice-cubes tend to go for the 'flattened like Wyle E. Coyote' thing," Anyanka said.  
  
Giles sighed, and asked, "Anyone here done any ice-climbing? I know I haven't, and I know we didn't cover this in your training, Buffy. Anya? Spike?"  
  
I shook my head, "No mountaineering vamps, mate. More an urban species us."  
  
Anya shook her head, "That's what teleporting is for, avoiding excessive exercise."  
  
We got to camp. Giles rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Looks like we've all got a crash course in rope-work this afternoon then."  
  
"Oh, ropes! Ropes are a totally different matter. I'm an expert with ropes," I rumbled, looking at Buffy.  
  
She swatted my hand and squealed, "Spikesicle! Deep frozen Spikesicle!"  
  
"Sorry, pet, had to take a bit of a dip in the river. Got a tad messy. And I ain't saying the water was cold, but there was an orchestra of brass monkeys singing soprano down there."  
  
"But you're not usually that cold. I mean you're never exactly Mr Furnace, but now you're all freeze-y," she said, looking worried. I hated seeing her worried, but it made me feel warm that she was worried about me.  
  
The head Sherpa bloke must have heard and came over. He picked up my hand and started prodding it, and, "Ow!" That must have cheered him up, but when he started looking for a pulse I pulled my hand back. He yelled to Giles, and he and Anyanka came over to me and Buffy. Sherpa Boy grabbed my hand again, and I took it back, without hurting him, which was pretty hard as the bloke was strong.  
  
I got a full scale Sherpa glare and a slow, loud enough to get through to the idiot Westerner, "Must check hands for frostbite. This, too cold, much too cold. Have to check circulation."  
  
I sent a panicked glance to the other three. Not exactly the time or place to tell the lads about vampires. I mean, frostbite wasn't exactly a nice idea, but I'd never heard of a vamp with it. Then again I'd never seen any other vamps dumb enough to be slogging up bleeding huge mountains. Giles rescued me. He rubbed the bridge of his nose, and said, "Spike here has a medical condition that means he feels cold, but it's not frostbite, It's why he has his medicine in the cooler, but we'll check him over anyway. Our responsibility, not yours. We'll look after him. Um, could you get some tea going? I think we all need some. Thanks."  
  
It worked, Sherpa Boy wasn't happy, but Giles had given him some clear orders, taken responsibility for any limb loss of mine, and he was the boss, so, sorted.  
  
We moved over to the sunny warm side of the campsite where the camp-stools had been moved ahead of dinner. Anyanka ordered me to, "Sit, and take your boots and socks off." I looked at her, and saw no alternative but to obey. Giles and Buffy looked at her, and Buffy's eyes narrowed at the remove items of clothing instruction.  
  
Anyanka looked back at them and said, "What? I've inflicted lots of frostbite in my time. There were always lots of requests for it in mountainous areas. I've never heard of a vampire with it, but I'll know it if I see it, and it's always fingers and toes first, so boots off faster, Mister." I moved faster and got them off. She ordered me to "Wriggle those toes." I wriggled. This was definitely one of those occasions when not being able to blush was a big plus.  
  
Anyanka scratched her nails on my toes and fingers, and I went, "Ow!" Buffy gave her the death glare, which felt so nice it almost offset the death glare I was getting from Giles, and the sheer wish I had at that point for the mountain to open up and swallow me.  
  
Anya smiled and said, "It hurt, so you have feeling, if no circulation, so no frostbite. We can all have tea now, and you can put your socks and boots back on."  
  
Buffy visibly choked back a response to that. I did as I was told, stood up, and said, "Thanks, Dr Anyanka."  
  
She grinned. "Not exactly, but I know painful diseases and medical conditions when I see or inflict them. And for anything else I purchased and read the 'Where there is no Doctor' book from the second-hand bookshop in Kathmandu, and an exhaustive medical kit. I have a mortal to love and look after, and no maintenance manual, and I'm not losing him." Giles blushed. She continued to him, "And I'm worried about your cough. You might have pulmonary oedema. I'm not losing you. I have to listen to your chest now."  
  
Giles said, "Stop fussing! I coughed twice on the way back to camp. It was a long hard ascent. I don't have altitude sickness. No headache, no more breathlessness than to be expected since we're so high up".  
  
Buffy said, "Which is totally of the good. But we still don't know why Spike's so cold." And with a very becoming blush said quietly, "He's never usually that cold."  
  
Giles looked caught between not wanting to think about how she knew what my normal body temperature was and wanting to avoid talking how I'd got cold, but with the usual Watcher fortitude sucked it up and started talking. "I'm assuming it's because he took a dip in the river and the fleece, hat, jacket and gloves, when he deigns to wear them, can only keep in heat that's already been absorbed."  
  
Buffy wrinkled her nose, "But why does Spike get to be the only one that gets a bath? I've never been so long without a shower in my life. God, I so must be stinky Buffy, and I thought I'd left that behind at the DMP. And my hair - tell me the truth; it's dead cat, isn't it?"  
  
It had a certain feline quality but I'm not totally dumb. "Looks great, pet. And everyone's in the same boat about the shower thing, luv."  
  
"Except you, Mr Clean and very curly," she replied, mussing my hair.  
  
I checked the mop. Bugger, the water must have got rid of the last of the hair gloop - the bloody curls were back. "Well, needed it badly, Buffy."  
  
She asked, "Why?"  
  
I looked at Giles. He looked at me. I swallowed hard and said, "Had to. Really did. Sorry, got some bad news for you."  
  
She looked at me. I looked at her, drinking up her face before she knew and started hating me again. Anyanka rolled her eyes at both of us.  
  
Giles stepped in, thankfully. "Buffy, we found the baby with the soldiers. They were all dead, and Riley was one of them."  
  
I jumped in. "He had the baby, and the paperwork in his pocket."  
  
Giles glared at me. Buffy sat down hard on the stool. He told her about the plans the soldier boys had planned for the yeti. She went in on herself.  
  
"I don't believe it. He was the one with the baby yeti? And the orders saying those horrible things they had planned for it? He did know?" Giles nodded.  
  
"But he was always so good. Mr Churchgoing guy. Apple Pie, white-picket fence and Mom guy. All the things I'm supposed to want, except the vamp-ho thing - and that was all my fault. I drove him to it. It must be my fault. He loved me and I ruined him, like I ruin everything. He was all good and stuff before he met me and the cracks in my soul and horrible self- involvement," she sniffed.  
  
I put a very tentative hand on her shoulder and said, "No, his choices, pet, not yours. Not your fault at all, his. Never yours, luv."  
  
She smiled through the sniffing and put her hand on mine. Then she asked the killer question. "What happened to them all?"  
  
Anyanka jumped in. "Spike made a wish to blow up the helicopter so they couldn't get away." Buffy pushed my hand away. Anyanka continued, "Then the yeti made a wish to punish the men that had killed his mate and taken his baby."  
  
She froze up and looked at both of us demons with Slayer in her eyes. "So, Spike didn't kill Riley?"  
  
Anyanka said, "No. He destroyed the helicopter and its soldiers. The yeti took vengeance on Riley and the men that killed his mate and took his baby."  
  
Buffy narrowed her eyes at her, "Through you. So you killed Riley?"  
  
I snapped, "Riley's own actions killed Riley, Buffy. Not Anyanka, not me! You know what they had planned. We're in a bloody war here; there's casualties! And he was about as far from innocent in this as anyone could be."  
  
She snapped back, "You're biased. You hated him."  
  
I admitted it, "Yeah. I'm also right." The acid in her eyes tore through me.  
  
Giles started, "Buffy, it wasn't anything anyone wanted. Heaven knows I didn't."  
  
"You're just defending your demon!" Buffy shouted.  
  
"I don't need anyone defending me, though it's a very pleasant change. I was just doing my job, and what had to be done, like I always do," Anyanka said firmly.  
  
Giles stood straighter. "I'm not 'defending my demon'. That's what you've always done, not me, and I have the scars to prove it." Then he visibly calmed. "But this isn't about you or me, or Anya, Spike or anyone else. This is about Riley, and his choices here, not in Sunnydale, but here. I know you loved the boy, and he did some good things that are worth honouring, which we did. Grief and anger are natural and you're allowed both."  
  
"Oh, thank you, Giles. I'm allowed, am I? Coz that makes it all better, in a way that, no, it doesn't," she snapped before sniffing, "It really doesn't. It's my fault. You said I loved him. I tried. I couldn't. I hate what he was doing with the baby yeti, but if I hate that I have to hate him, and I can't. I drove him back to the Initiative because I couldn't love him the way he deserved. It's all my fault. I don't want to hate him, Giles."  
  
I said, "Didn't deserve you, pet."  
  
"Neither do you!" She said. That burnt. Truth always burns like the finest battery acid.  
  
"I know." I said softy.  
  
Anyanka looked closely at Buffy and said, "That's the scorned woman talking. He scorned you; you hated it. You blame yourself for everything, and you hate him for that. I can feel it. You still do good hate despite being fixed. I thought we fixed you?"  
  
Buffy's jaw dropped. "I am fixed! I can feel everything again, and right now, so wishing I didn't. I hate what you both did. I hate that I hate that. I shouldn't. I'm the Slayer, you're both demons and I kill killer demons, but, war, good demons, bad humans.... God! Why can't it all be: black hat, demon - kill; white hat, human - good, So so much easier!"  
  
"Cos life isn't a crappy John Wayne western, pet. Is more of a Clint Eastwood, I reckon," I ventured.  
  
"So not wanting to talk to you right now," she ripped me a new one.  
  
Anyanka said professionally, "You are sending out a lot of pain and hate."  
  
Buffy turned to her. "Not wanting to talk to you either." Then muttered, "Not wanting to talk to any of you." She turned to Giles. "You knew."  
  
He shook his head. "No, I didn't. And I'm not exactly happy either. But I understand. I understand all of you, and Riley, and I wish I didn't." Anyanka's head moved. He continued, "No, Anyanka, that's not a request, it's a statement."  
  
Buffy said quietly, "I don't want to hate, Giles. I don't want to hate Riley, or Anya, or Spike or anyone, but I hate all of this."  
  
Giles put his hand on her shoulder. "Buffy, you can hate the actions, you don't have to hate the person. In fact it's far, far better for you if you don't. Believe me, I know."  
  
She looked up at him. "How?"  
  
With a rueful smile, "Samuel, the Guardian. You remember your own epiphany?" She nodded. "I had my own, different of course, but still painful, and still worth it." He looked at her, and Anyanka, and even me, though for a lot shorter time, and asked her, "Do you want to know what part of mine was?" She looked up and after a moment nodded.  
  
He swallowed hard. "I've done things I'm not proud of, because I was stupid, and young, and should have known better. I've done things I'm not proud of because I had to, because there was no choice. Those weren't easy things to live with, they really weren't. But Samuel took me though those memories and showed me that I can hate what I did, but I don't have to hate myself for doing it. Hate the actions not the person, it's the only way in the end to be at peace. Can you do that?"  
  
She whispered, "I'll try."  
  
Giles smiled at her. "It made me able to forgive myself, and I had to so I could be happy. So I know I can forgive others, if they hate what they had to do for the right reasons." He looked hard at Anyanka then me. "It might take a while, but I can do it. I know you can. You have a good heart, Buffy, that's why it hurts."  
  
She smiled up at him. "Thank you, Giles. It's really hard. I can't help blaming all of you, though mostly Spike and Anya, but I will try. I hate to think of Riley left down there though."  
  
I said, "That's why I got all bath-needing, pet. We didn't leave 'em down there. He got a Viking funeral. Did the right thing, we did. Put him with his mates, big pyre, Giles saying the words, me moving 'em there, and all."  
  
She looked at both of us, swallowed, and said, "Thank you. It can't have been easy. It means a lot." She chewed her lower lip. "But this has been all stressy and my head's full. Can I go kill something or do anything kick- y or physical?"  
  
I looked at her. She said, "Not that, so not that after all that. Something climb-y, maybe?" I hadn't intended her to take it that way, but give a dog a bad name and all that.  
  
Giles gave her his rueful grin. "Good job we're climbing an ice-fall tomorrow then. I'll get the Sherpas to give us all rope, crampons, and ice- climbing lessons. Should do the trick wonderfully."  
  
She nodded, and we spent the afternoon learning. The metal spikes strapped to the boots were fun, after getting the hang of walking in them. Buffy made a few protests about odd footwear and the problems of walking in them, though she loved the weapon possibilities of razor sharp steel on her feet. Giles, however, pointed out that compared to some of the shoes she'd worn to patrol in over the years crampons were quite normal, and she really shouldn't have a problem driving them.  
  
Giles also sent some of the Sherpas off to fix rope up the ice-fall in the afternoon and next morning. They also dismantled one of their tents, intending to sleep in it as they fixed the ropes all the way to the top, before leaving it set up for us. This left the other Sherpa's sleeping in the cook-tent before getting our tents once we'd moved off.  
  
I pointed out, slightly, the interesting possibilities of a climbing harness and the ropes, and got a hard punch in the arm from Buffy and a major glare from Teaching Sherpa for the joke. I didn't bother with the ice- axe joke.  
  
I got Ice-Buffy over dinner, as did everyone else. Giles asked her how she was and she just replied. "Thinking. Trying. Blaming, and trying not to. Remembering. Kinda sort of wanting to be left alone right now."  
  
I got the ice all night too, but considered it a major concession that I didn't get thrown out of the tent to spend the night with the Sherpa lads in the cook-tent.  
  
I heard the sounds of a Lethe's Bramble spell on the Sherpas, to stop them from leaving, investigating the area, or remembering it afterwards, coming from Giles and Anyanka's tent. There was also a lot of discussion on the morality of expedience verses free-will, before they fell silent. I voted for expedience, so did Anyanka and Giles. Giles just angsted about it before and after.  
  
We set off straight after breakfast and horribly early in the morning, but since all of us were complete beginners on ice-climbing that was well necessary. Buffy and me got to carry all the weapons, but we all had heavy packs, despite having sent a lot of the camping gear with the lads the afternoon before.  
  
The trek up to the snowfield was fine, except for the silence from my walking companion, also known as my silent and still miffed beloved. Then we had to wait for the slower Giles and Anyanka so we could all rope ourselves together in case of avalanche or crevasse. I'd laughed off the scariness of the latter when we'd had our lesson on them. I mean, creature of the dark and general scariness myself. But inching across a flimsy aluminium ladder across a sharp endless gash in the ice I stopped mocking.  
  
It was a hard job. Getting to the end of the ropes tying all four of us together and then having to wait for the slower pair made it harder. The hard climbing up the fixed-ropes and the difficulty of walking in crampons meant all of us really felt it. Giles' cough kept reappearing. Anyanka kept worrying about it. Even Buffy was puffing hard in the thin air. I kept expecting to either fall down a hole in the ice and end up a deep frozen vamp, or get crunched by one of the very scary and very unstable blocks of ice we kept walking under.  
  
We passed the boys coming down and slapped them in the back to say thanks, which gave all of us a much needed breather, even me. Then we slogged on up more of the creaking and groaning ice-fall. It was beautiful. Blues and whites of all shades made up the ice, and the crunch and bite of the ice sounded wonderful. The view, when not obscured by very unstable oddly shaped huge pillars of ice, was bloody amazing. I felt I could see forever, or at least several mountain ranges anyway.  
  
Just as even my legs started to get tired we got to the tent. Bloody marvellous sight it was too. The boys had it all set up on a small flat bit off from the top of the ice-fall. I looked inside. There were 4 sleeping bags and mats all laid out nice, with a small camping stove with dehydrated food in a pot, filled water bottles next to it and just about enough space at the back of the tent for our gear.  
  
I looked back along the trail and saw that Anyanka and Giles had made it up towards the last of the ice-pillars just as it made the kind of groan I'd last heard from a victim of Angelus's singing. Giles coughed and Anyanka worried him about it. He snapped at her between coughs. Then they disappeared from sight, as the ropes angled beneath and around the world's scariest ice-cube. The continued shadow on Buffy's face made the idea of using it in the world's largest glass of Scotch bloody appealing.  
  
A deafening 'crack' snapped me back into awareness just in time to see the massive chunk of ice crash down onto the trail, creating a huge cloud of snow obscuring even supernatural eyesight. Buffy screamed out, "Giles!"  
  
I felt the snow vibrate and I shouted, "Avalanche!"  
  
Buffy and I both turned round sharpish, slammed our ice-axes into the snow as hard as super-strength could make it, and held onto the rope connecting us to the others. Fortunately we didn't have to test the exhaustive Sherpa instructions on the 'use of ropes to save lives for beginners' from earlier. The snow where we were and lower down stayed where it was. I was glad we didn't had to test the lecture. Most other uses of ropes I'm an expert at - climbing, not so much.  
  
Giles and Anyanka both shot up the last of the trail and Giles reached us first, breathing hard and covered in snow. Buffy dashed up to him, crampon- walking awkwardness all forgotten in her haste, and threw her arms around him, sniffing, "Giles, Giles, I nearly lost you. Don't you dare leave me! I'm sorry, don't leave me. Please don't leave me, I need you, Giles, please."  
  
Giles hugged her back, "Not going to happen, Buffy. See, in one piece, if a bit snow covered." He grinned at that to her, until a harder hug made him squeak, "Ribs, Buffy, ribs."  
  
She lessened the death-grip a bit and looked up at him. "Sorry, breathe- yness good, bad Buffy. But you scared me. I thought I'd lost you, and I don't want to, and I don't want our last talk ever to be me being all 'blaming you Buffy'. I love you, Giles. I'm sorry for what I said earlier, I know it's not your fault. It's Spike and Anya's."  
  
Bugger.  
  
Giles hugged her back, said, "I love you too, Buffy, you know that. And Anya and Spike did what they thought was right, and most of me agrees with them, even if I hate it, and also understands why you're upset. But we can all debate this again later. Right now I'm thirsty, and hungry, and Anya and I both just escaped death, so if we could put this aside for now it would help."  
  
A very small, "Ok," could be heard from the Watcher/Slayer huddle.  
  
I took off my shades, looked over to Giles and said, "Narrow escape that, mate. Glad you both made it."  
  
He replied looking across to Anyanka with a look of pure relief on his face, "Me too, Spike, me too."  
  
Anyanka reached us, dropped her pac so she could fit into the gap between Giles and Buffy, and he gathered her into his arms and his love.  
  
Buffy let go after giving him one last squeeze, causing a whimper from Giles, leaving the un-flattened love-birds to reassure each other they were still alive. It took so long that both Buffy and me had ourselves un-roped from each other and our back-pacs off and leaning next to the tents by the time they'd un-coupled. Then they joined us by the tent, un-roped themselves, and Giles got his gear off.  
  
I asked, "And we're going to fit four people into a two-man tent how?"  
  
"It's a two-stroke-three person tent, pillock, and besides, Anya and Buffy are both so slim they probably count as half a person to a tent company," Giles said, having clearly been mentally doing the logistics for some time.  
  
"And a very nice warm half a person, she is too," I said, resting my weary head against Buffy's down clad shoulder; very comfy it was too.  
  
She swatted me away. "You're still in the bad books." So I backed off.  
  
"It's going to be a bloody tight fit in there," I said, peering into the tent.  
  
"Nevertheless, we all need to fit in here. I've been thinking it all out on the way up. It would be inappropriate for me to sleep next to Buffy, though we've all left 'inappropriate' several countries and thousands of miles away."  
  
"And it would be way weird to snuggle up to my Watcher!" Buffy said.  
  
"There will be no snuggling of my man by anyone except me," Anyanka ordered.  
  
Giles, torn between glaring and melting, continued, "And no way is Anya sleeping next to Spike."  
  
"Not even thought about the idea, mate." I said, wanting to get in and out of the tent in one piece. Buffy smiled, before remembering she was meant to be annoyed with me.  
  
"Which, despite meaning the two shortest get the most headroom, would leave the best, and in fact, the only solution as Spike next to the tent wall and Buffy. Anya next to her in the middle, and me also getting a face full of tent," Giles finished.  
  
"I like that solution, but you'll mostly be getting a face full of me," Anyanka smiled at him.  
  
"How come I have to be in the middle?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Because there is no way on earth I'm sleeping huddled up to Spike; he snores," Giles stated firmly.  
  
I defended myself. "I bloody well do not! I only breathe to talk!"  
  
"Which you do incessantly!" Giles said.  
  
"Do not! Buffy, tell him!" She rolled her eyes at me. I'm pretty sure that they'll stick that way some day.  
  
"Do too!" Giles snapped.  
  
"Children!" Anyanka shouted. "Now you've both established your masculine unwillingness to sleep together, and so reaffirmed your heterosexuality, can we all get to the snuggling? Buffy and I, as women, and as such sensible, are not threatened by the idea of sleeping together in a non- lesbian fashion, so get into your sleeping bags. It's cold. My legs hurt from all that climbing, and I'm still worried about Rupie's cough. I need snuggles!"  
  
I crawled inside and Buffy passed me all the bags, which I stowed at the back. Buffy, Giles and I then got into our sleeping bags one at a time. Wearing several layers of clothing while doing it made that a bit tricky. Once all four of us were inside the cramped conditions made movement of any sort difficult.  
  
Anyanka didn't get into her bag. She sat on top of it and unpacked the cups from her bag. She asked for my Zippo. I took it out of my pocket and threw it to her. She lit the stove, threw it back to me and cooked up some soup, before handing it to each of us. Right welcome it was too. Warmed me up nicely, and got me ready for the blood in my own pack, which was freezing and foul, but well needed. We all finished, Anyanka put the stove to the back of the tent and got into her bag.  
  
I was utterly knackered. It was maybe seven in the evening - morning time for my kind, but I felt as shattered as the others sounded. We all tried to crash.  
  
It didn't work too well.  
  
Buffy's rigid back to me hurt me like hell. The moonlight and starshine that slipped through the tent meant I could see it fine. It felt worse. I also heard her heart working harder than normal to function as high as we were, which worried me a bit. The Watcher's heart was thumping away like a Led Zep bass-line. Anyanka started every time his breathing got irregular, which it was doing regularly. Plus we were packed in tighter than a tin of sardines. So, all in all, not exactly a recipe for a good nights kip, though we did all try.  
  
Giles coughed so hard his head came up like a sit up. Anyanka sat bolt upright, and pulled her arms up from out of her bag so she could twist around to hold him. She tapped him on the back until he stopped and said, "I'm fine. It's just the altitude."  
  
Anyanka turned to me, "Yes, you sound 'fine'. Spike, you have vampire hearing. Is there any fluid on his lungs, please, listen for me."  
  
I replied, "Anything you want, pet."  
  
"I'm not having Spike on my chest listening to me breathe!" Giles spluttered.  
  
I said, "Don't have to. Can hear from here. Is fine. No nasty gurgling. I'll tell you both if and when I hear it."  
  
Anyanka sighed with relief. "Thank you, Spike." Then she turned and said, "Rupie, don't die on me, please. I couldn't take that. I nearly lost you once today. I can't do it again!"  
  
Giles stroked her cheek, being all the skin that could be seen under her hat and fleece, and said softly, "I nearly lost you too, I think. Could that ice or an avalanche have killed you?"  
  
Buffy stirred with what seemed professional interest at that.  
  
Anyanka replied, "Possibly. That weight was enough to crush the amulet, and then me, but if it was sheltered by my body, I don't know. I know it would have hurt, even if it didn't break the amulet, but not as much as losing you."  
  
He sighed and drew her closer, "Oh, Anya, what am I going to do with you? I can't live without you either. Well, I probably could, but I wouldn't want to, even if I shouldn't have you."  
  
She said, "Well, you do have me, and I'm not leaving you, so get used to it, Mister!"  
  
"I'm trying to, I really am," he sighed. Then she snuggled into his chest and we all tried to sleep again.  
  
An hour or so of contented snuggling from Watcher and demon later Buffy whimpered, "My face hurts. It's all hot and stuff, and that's not right since it's all ice-boxy in here."  
  
Giles switched his torch on and looked at her. "Buffy, you've got sunburn on your nose and cheeks. Didn't you use the sunscreen?"  
  
"California girl here, didn't think I'd need it so much," she said softly with embarrassment. "Ok, clearly one of Buffy's more dumb ideas, but the Slayer healing should kick in soon, right? Coz now, it's all ouchy, and hot and stuff."  
  
I had an idea. I took my gloves off and asked, "Anyone need some more water?"  
  
Anyanka said, "The book said humans need to drink as much water as possible at this altitude, though I'm not sure about me or you, but I am thirsty."  
  
"Ok, two missions for the price of one. Sorted. I'll get the snow. You put the stove on." She nodded. I got up out of my sleeping bag and picked up the pot. I put my boots on and unzipped the tent long enough to get out before zipping it back up for the others. In the moonlight gleaming off the snow I crunched over to the looser snow. I used my bare hands to pick up heaps of it and compressed it down into the pot. I did it until I'd pushed as much snow into the pot as I could. I kept my hands on the top until the heat I'd picked up leached into the snow melting it a little, allowing me to get some more in, and also taking my hands down to cold-compress temperature. Then I went back inside the tent and handed the pot to Anya. She put it on the stove to boil so it was safe to drink.  
  
I took my boots off and lay on my side on top of my sleeping bag. I supported my head with one cold hand and laid the other gently across Buffy's burning face.  
  
She sighed and looked up at me. "Why do you make it so hard for me to hate you? Right now, I want to be able to hate you. It would be so much easier if I could hate you." She wrinkled her nose up, in that adorable way she has. But simultaneously she relaxed as the cold of my iced hand relieved the heat in her skin. She rubbed her cheek into my hand like a cat and continued, "But I can't." 


End file.
